Aspergers Mommy

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Well I am a mom of two wonderful kids that I have been blessed with!!! I am not a psychiatrist, or a doctor so anything I say is not the answer to all, it might not even be the right thing for me!! lol I do my best with who and what I have to overcome any challenge with lots and lots of prayer,my mom who is God given just to me for this very reason, my sisters, and friends! I love life, mostly positive........BUT I am insane at times, get to the point of wanting to explode! lol.. I sing kids songs way too much! Did I mention I am OCD when it comes to cleaning. Which believe it or not I think is what keeps me sane. When I clean, I love it. Breakdowns, crying, talking, just all seem to be ok as I clean..Thank God for OCD!!!

Friday, July 29, 2011

Aspergers...ODD.........INSANE MOM..........Pretty good days. July 29, 2011

Happy Friday!!!!!!!!

So I really wish it was payday again.....BOOOOOOOOOO   So I read a post from a friend on facebook, electric bill was over $500.00!!!!!!!! I am so praying mine is not!! I mean yes electric is good, but that seems like such a waste of money!!!!!!!!! Yes, I know I should be thankful, AND I AM!!!  But this keeps up, i will be one of the people with out it, then others will have to be thankful = )  I am going to have to get an inhaler, defib machine, SOMETHING ready when i see it i think.......lololol
YES thank you again= ) to all who let me know I did not post yesterday!  I am so glad I am missed...........However, have those of you who tell me... have you stopped to think on how routine-ish you seem to be in....lololol  I know a good doctor!!!   HAHAHAHA

Once again I say... sorry its gong to be a bit of a boring post kinda............but really if your upset about it.....YOUR MEAN!!!    lolol  That just means you want my life to be a living HELL!!!  Shame on you!!!  May the bottom of your foot itch today and you be in a place you cant scratch it......... OK lame I know... but I am just too sweet............So you think= )

Just so you know I had a partial ME day yesterday now mind you I had to go to a dr appt. but then I had lunch with my sis and very quickly turned into a pig!!!!!!  A cute one of course  lolol  So I am not going to go into TMI, but if you have ever had your bladder checked you KNOW what i had done yesterday... if you haven't......All i will say is.........Yes, it does hurt a bit............Yes, I felt like i looked like I was giving birth to an alien!!!!!!!!!   LOLOLOL   Look it up!

It also reminded me of my old boss....  He owns a liquor store in Moore and is well known for his marquee signs he puts up..... Bryan's Marquee 

So after that, went to my work and to eat, and by Samarra's new school and back to work.. from home= )  DeAnn has been with the kids quite a bit and Samarra thrives off attention mostly when your doing what she wants of course............It is like her interest are the only ones there should be and she is not interested in doing what others want......ASPERGERS.... lolol  And what is considered to be impatient to most is also an aspergers thing in that NOPE she is not going to wait on you and she will bug the taar out of you until she gets what she is wanting/ needing!!!!!!!!!!

So really the last few days have not been too bad, SOMEONE thought it would be a good idea to have a sleep over with the kids at moms with DeAnn...........Of course I said yes!!!!!!!!!!!   EVIL LAUGH!!!  And of course it went as expected........Samarra had to try and stick to her routine at home at moms and it want working out.....  She even said to my sister....."I knew this wasn't a good idea"   LOLOLOL  

I know I shouldn't laugh and I didn't in front of my sister, but it was funny to me  lol  Sorry DeAnn if your reading= )

Other than that, lets seeeeeeeeeeeee............uuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmmm its been HOT!!!!!!!!!  I told a friend of mine who works in a car lot yesterday, "If it gets any hotter they are going to have to add some camels to their lot and put a FORD brand on their butt"  lololol  OK, I thought it was funny.........lolol

So I will venture off into the Lindauer weekend and hope all will be awesome!!!!!

Once again I say... sorry its boring post kinda............but really if your upset about it.....YOUR MEAN!!!    lolol  That just means you want my life to be a living HELL!!!  Shame on you!!! 

Mall pics!!





Have an awesome day!!!



 

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Aspergers, ODD... July27, 2011

Happy Happy Wednesday to YOU!

Darla's weather.......HOT as HAITI's!! 

So I leave work yesterday and I am on my way home and for whatever reason the radio was not on and about 5 min into my drive I notice I am singing.........OK, so this is good, I must be happy= )     What am I singing??? The Dora song!!!!!!!!!!! I was quite into it also!!!   LOLOLOL    I also find myself singing Norman Chrysler Jeep and Dodge commercial!!!!!!!!!!!  WWWWWWHHHHHYYYY!!!!!!!

So I then begin to speak to myself, I said why am I singing that............ and say I am such a dork..........then I realize I am talking to myself.. then i am like doh.......   OMGosh HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  It has happened, I am loosing it!!!!!!

OK RADIO TIME!!!      WHEW the distraction made me normal again  lolol     AND I wonder why my daughter has challenges!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA

So I get home, my sister is in town from Florida!!!!!!!!!!!!  YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! See if you can guess how Samarra is reacting to this. EXTREME EXCITEMENT!!!!! OK, understandable, I am excited as well, but i just don't jump around like an African bush dancer and scream a lot!  LOLOLOL  Although I have often wondered if I could even do this......I might try one day  lol, but I will not tell you about it  HAHAHAHA

NOTE: Don't try African dance in the house, floor only has crawl space under, might fall through the floor!

So it starts, Samarra has decided we will all go to eat at our house for dinner and over the next ten minutes maybe kept repeating, interrupting and just driving us insane...........I had to point out  to everyone. 1. I just worked all day. 2. it will take some time to prepare a meal for eight. 3. I don't even have stuff at the house to do this with...  I don't USUALLY even eat dinner. So that is not going to happen!     Then it changes to going out to eat.......... So we ended up going to Chedder's in MWC, which is pretty good I might say= ) Well, i did say... lol

So with my sister in town she came over and played with kids while I cleaned of course... you know me have to clean, Didn't have as much time as I usually do, but my house was acceptable enough for me to go to sleep ok. = )  It is funny watching an adult and 4 kids play hide and seek in my house of about 1100 square feet with a pretty open layout.  lolol Not really an optimal place to play that, but I think me vacuuming helped... I was the distraction= ) You know I do what I can when I can= )  lolol

OK, back to this ODD thing.... SOOOOOOOO yesterday I was putting blame on me, which I still take some responsibility..............BUT it is important to know....She does KNOW what she is doing...........but she cant always control what she is doing like most can...........So that is part of my big task is to retrain her ways of processing things..........Along with learning that all actions even small have a consequence............It is going to be tough, and I must say as much as I dread it for a bit, I am anxious for the turn around.

So Samarra knows cat is out of bag a bit now and she is showing more of her intelligent side again, rather than playing off as an innocent child who just doesn't understand  lolol   She says to me last night...........mom, Do you think the mom on 19 Kids and Counting will have anymore children.........I said.. I don't know........She says, well I am pretty sure her uterus has had quite a bit of strain on it and I think she should probably not.     I told her that is a good point...........lol

Later she says.......Mom, Do you think the kids of the lady who died are ok???  I said, who?  She said the lady who died last year who had 8 kids. I said honey I dont even remember that..........She says... It was on the news mom and in the paper, you work there you should know!!!!  I said I am sorry hon I don't remember...........She says.. That is because you don't use your brain right and I can remember things more than you...........And why doesn't the paper even give us an update, its like they tell a open ended story...........  

THEN............Tries a little sarcastic put down on me, which I quickly told her UM NO MAAM!!!!!!!!!  She says.........I bet you don't even remember your name......  EXQUEEZE ME???


WOW, so I did miss this, but I didn't.........This I am better than you talk is part of it and i guess we will be addressing that..............it is one of those moments where you want to say... You know what you may have a higher IQ, but i can still whoop your butt!!!!!!!!!!  LOLOLOLOL

So just with her telling me about the mother who died, and her memory.........It occurred to me, Samarra remembers everything, that means she is constantly carrying around every bad thing she has ever heard or read in the paper.........OMG, that has to be horrible, no wonder she never wants to be alone and has a fear of death and dying............. Poor thing= )

Ok well the night had a few issues of course with the asperger side of life........ mostly time issues and out of routine issues.........But trust me, I will soon be the best expert I can be on knowing what is what!!!!!!!!!

So if you didn't think I was insane before , I believe I might be headed that way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK, I am SOOOOO Slacking in the picture department!!!

Some more OLDIES!!



Have an AWESOME DAY!!!







Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Aspergers... Now ODD..... WHIPS gonna crack!!!..........AAAAAHHH

Happy Tuesday............happy dance to go with....

Darla's forecast again.............. DANG, DARN HOT!!!!!!


OK I have a new posting on NewsOK.com now and will post each week for my top picks of events in the State of Oklahoma and I will start posting it here as well= )

ODD OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So we went to our new doctor again yesterday... Dr. Poyner in Choctaw who I LOVE LOVE by the way= ) And I got some news I had been searching for! And the best part of it is...........I think I am the cause of it  lololol...........OK Not really funny, but what else should I do cry?????????? And that will do what to correct it?  Just sayin= )

OK so Oppositional Defiant Disorder is.................is a pattern of disobedient, hostile, and defiant behavior toward authority figures.

And the signs are....

  • Throwing repeated temper tantrums
  • Excessively arguing with adults
  • Actively refusing to comply with requests and rules
  • Deliberately trying to annoy or upset others, or being easily annoyed by others
  • Blaming others for your mistakes
  • Having frequent outbursts of anger and resentment
  • Being spiteful and seeking revenge
  • Saying mean and hateful things
In addition, many children with ODD are moody, easily frustrated, and have a low self-esteem.

OMGosh right on!!!!!!!!!!

See remember I said I had been trying to search the internet for some answers and I SWORE I would never do it again cause of all the negative things????????????????????  BAD BAD !!!!!!!!!!! ANYWAY, I have been searching for things with in aspergers to help me figure out WHY the heck a lot of the things she does don't "fit" into the asperger realm of things.............. I was about to loose my mind!!!!!!!!!!

I would sit there and think, OMGosh, what if Samarra actually does something real bad one day............. I couldnt figure out how to help her!!!!!!!!!!!

OK so this ODD is actually a blessing to me to know about because guess what???????????????  A LOT of it is chosen behavior!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  YES, I said it, SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE IS DOING!!!!!!!!!!!!   Why do I want to body slam her right now???????  LOLOLOL  very carefully though  lolol

True enough there are asperger meltdowns, but those are related to schedule changes, routine changes, food changes, and things that break her routine.................ALL the rest are NOT typical asperger symptoms and actions.........NOT one asperger child has had issues with a lot of these things.................WOW

So here is the break down. Doctor says to me, you I am sure know that you have a very intelligent child, she has scored off the charts with her testing...........I said I know.............She says, children with this high of intelligent can be a double edged sword and let me explain. Samarra sees herself and stated to me that she is superior to adults because she has a higher IQ than all of us. She also has stated that she knows what she is doing when she has these outbursts and says things that are inappropriate, amongst other things and that adults are easily manipulated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT??????????? My sweet child??????????????????????         ARE YOU FREAKIN SERIOUS!!!!!!!!

I dont know whether to be mad, or happy she A LOT smarter than I even knew!!!!!!!!!!    I am in shock, I felt , well I dont know how I felt.. I just calmly listened.......So now Samarra is in the room and the doctor talks with Samarra and Samarra tries some of her normal things ... well to me.......... The doctor called her on it......Samarra says to the doctor......You might be the first person who could be smarter than me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT THE............................ OK, so now to the good news and bad news..............it has gotten a lot worse lately and yes, IT IS MY FAULT...............and the Internets fault........... Remember I said in quite a few of my posts that I cant figure out what is aspergers and what is not and I am not suppose to punish for asperger reactions rather try to teach and i am suppose to punish for non- asperger things.....................Well who the heck decided all that crap, I cant tell and i have allowed her to grow into a freaking master manipulator!!!!!!  Well guess what with the help of the doctor THE WHIP IS ABOUT TO CRACK.........And the heavens will break apart it is going to be HELL in my house for a while..............

Now the doctor is all about spare the rod and all, but only in certain times and she said that in this case spankings don't work, she prefers them and stated it... spanking is over, mom doesn't have the heart to do it more than one time in a night so I am good to go for the rest of the night....................OMG really????????   UGGGGGG

SIGHHHHHHHHHH........now on the flip side there are REAL dangers in allowing this behavior to continue, the anger and violence and low self esteem gets worse and worse until true violence emerges and it is hard to control, but she is young and the doctor says this will have a very quick turn around as long as me, dad, and mom are on same page!!!!!!!!!!!!

WOW I could go on forever, but I have to get ready for work...........So I will continue this later.....But I will leave you with the last thing samarra said to me when I asked how she liked doctor Poyner..............

Me: Well, how did you like Dr. Poyner??
Samarra: SIGH...She is GOOD, i mean like REAL GOOD!
Me: What makes her good?
Samarra: She knows what is in my head all the time.............she is really good!

So basically I am the stupid low IQ mom................But guess what???????????? I love her so much and we WILL get past this and I cant wait to see her other side..............Call me CRACK THE WHIP mommy going forward!!


OLDIE BUT GOODIES!!!!!!!!!






Have a BLESSED DAY!!!!!!!

Monday, July 25, 2011

Aspergers, Mean Sweet...I just created that term!!! July 25, 2011

GOOD MONDAY MORNING!!!

Wow, So how long has it been.. Since Thursday I think!! it seems life has gotten quite busy, or either I am less organized...hummmm OK, maybe both... lolol I definitely have been a bit side-tracked lately, with what I can not pin-point.

It seems the more I write this blog, the less issues Samarra has and the more I have.........HEY!! what the......... I am perfect hello......... LOLOL yeeeeaaaa, so that isn't true, but I actually do think that my reactions and things I do do and can effect some of Samarra's reactions to things.

So I am writing this and I am happy, so that should tell you instantly no one died these last few days, HOWEVER many injuries have taken place.

Siahna has two bruises on her forehead. Samrra has a hurt toe, and her head has hurt for two days since she hit it on something??? I have had a headache for two days because Siahna punched me right in my eyeball!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG that hurts!!!

So this weekend was ok............Siahna is in the stage of, I will do whatever my sister tells me to do, and Samarra is using it to her advantage in the wrong way..... this weekend, I caught her......cause she is never too far from me telling her sister to Jump off couch, hit me, put things in her mouth that could choke her, giving her things she shouldn't have like pens and telling her to write on the wall. having her hit herself and hit her head on things, which she has two bruises from. Samarra finds great joy in this and laughs at it, and i get SOOOOOOOOOOO mad at her!! OH giving her knives.......... What the heck is that???

Here is the explanation to my word I made up..."Mean Sweet" She is being mean and is doing all of it in a very sweet voice and loving way to intice her sister into doing it. I have had to keep very close watch this weekend with her cause she is going to get her hurt..............And I go back again.. she doesn't think.............if Siahna as much as stubs her toe, Samarra freaks out and could cry for up to an hour screaming ...........She CANT handle the stress and anxiety of it.........And she is super protective of her for a while after!

We played some games, we had our own version of SOUL Train going on in the living room  lolol THANK GOD no cameras..........Why are mothers so dorky sometimes.........Maybe it is just me...LOLOLOL  HOWEVER, Aaron does say he thinks I have lost brain cells at times...  HA.... 

So the "MELTDOWN" factor has went down a lot, she has adjusted finally to the Summer schedule and like all asperger children, routine is VERY good..........I for one an thankful!!!!

I am not sure we will EVER have a day with out some kind of an issue, but you know what................One of two is better than ALL DAY!!!!!!!!!! So I guess I have Three weeks I HOPE to enjoy it and then School will start and my life will be another nightmare for a while and we will adjust= )

So I was horrible at pictures this weekend so you get oldie but goodies again..............



Today will be an AWESOME DAY!!!

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Aspergers, Sick = calm and expressive in her July 21, 2011

Happy Thursday!!!

Yes, I know I didn't write yesterday, thank you to everyone who let me know  LOLOL  Like I dint know.  He-he...It was a crazy busy day, not bad just busy!! I think I have become a soap opera........a little addictive maybe.....Well join me, cause I am kinda addicted to my writing...

OK, now on to my days...  I think Samarra is getting sick= (  poor baby, or her allergies are just going into hyper-drive! She sounds like her head is so swollen up inside that it is almost hard to understand her words....... She also gets to the point she is choking on the drainage. But my mother is a superwoman voo doo doctor...  Not really, just the name I use with her cause she has a fix for everything I think...... lol She used the Nedi pot on Samarra and man was it crazy how much can fit in our heads!!!!!!!!!!  Sorry if that is TMI  lolol
Has the "look" sick to me....

So here is the thing.. When she was in school last year, it took Samarra being sick for me to find out she was being bullied every day.........She never realized she was being bullied and still doesn't to this day. But when she is sick she is calm, and I don't know if it is the benadryl or what, but she calms to the point of talking and she expresses things more. 

So this is how it went, she was laying on the couch and said something about a birthday party for a kid in her class........I WAS ECSTATIC!!  This will be her first birthday invite... I responded with OH honey that is awesome, when is it??  She then says...  calmly........I am not invited, I said WHAT?   She says, yeah he told me I wasnt comign because he hated me and i was weird.......

OK SCREEEEEEEEEEECHH

This is where on the inside i felt my face go hot, I believe my head spun around and i was shaking, and wanted to SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  BUT............I didn't

He said what honey? She repeated what he said to me, I then said Oh I am sure he was just teasing right.........I actually was just hoping.......... She then says , no all the kids tell me that, but its ok, cause they say as along as I ask them everyday if i can be there friend they might let me. They haven't yet, but I bet they will tomorrow.......I just have to keep trying right mom........They have only hit me a couple times.......I then decided to get nasty a bit about it.. and I said well honey if they say that then that just shows you how stupid they are and they are jealous of you cause your so pretty and have beautiful clothes...........they are jealous of you......
 See how cute she is= )

WHAT???????????? What the heck else was I suppose to say in the midst of my internal anger to where I actually did not like these kids!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got on the phone with her teacher real quick and I stayed professional, but I told them how things were going to be like this.

I told him what had happened about the party and I reinforced that NO b-day cards should be allowed at school unless all kids are invited!!!!!! And then I made myself CLEAR on what i expected going forward and that it will not be tolerated and that if it was not stopped immediately I will contact the police because the children have actually put their hands on my child and according to the law doesn't matter what age.. it is ASSAULT!!!!!!!!!! 

This was probably one of the most sad days of my life and one of the most anger filled days of my life. It is so hard to hear that your child is being made fun of. Sure we wish all will be great, but you know it is parents ultimate responsibility to raise their kids to KNOW ALL kids/people are different and NO ONE is better than the next. GOD does not make mistakes..........We are EXACTLY how we are suppose to be and perfect in his eyes. Now we have to learn how to move on with anything that may to society try to hold us down. BE STRONG and that is what I hope to teach Samarra.  I may not do a good job, but I will do my best!

OK so why am i going on about this???  Because her Nanna sent her a card in the mail and in it she said something about her new school and making friends........ Well Samarra has been talking about it every since....... Here are some of the things she is saying...

I am sure I will like the school, but I don't think anyone will like me anyway.
Maybe you should just home school  me so no kids have to see how weird I am
I am smart, but the kids don't seem to care if I am or not.
I wonder if I will have to ask the kids to like me
Do you think I will be able to play with kids at this school?
Why is it so hard for people to like me?
Mom, why do i have to be like I am.?
Do you think anyone will come to my birthday party if I ask them?
I have the learning part down, I just have to be nicer and maybe they will like me...

I cant tell you how sad this makes me, I actually went to bed and cried last night and I just don't know what to do. I am a HUGE positive reinforcement person and I do that.............And as you can see I will get nasty if I have to... and there just may be some truth in my saying they were jealous of her maybe I don't know...  I can tell you though I have talked to the new school and the teacher is VERY informed and has dealt with Aspergers, Autism, and other social issues that come up and I feel very comfortable about her going to this school. I will however have yet another meeting before school starts and reinforce that it BETTER not happen. it is a private school and there will be 5 or 6 in her class and I PAY for that!!!!!!! 

OK sorry about the rant, trust me I could go on and on.. but that only makes anger build in me and that will not help accomplish anything.SOOOOOOOOOOOO  Lets be HAPPY HAPPY!! and take it one  step at a time...........And if it does happen, I will turn into the biggest crazy banshee crazy woman on this planet!!!!!!  And I wont care...............Only my sub-human knows how i really can get!!!   lolol  All the rest of you think I am so sweet= )

Oh in case you didn't know... this is a banshee lolol Actually kind of cool looking to me= )

Well This post is long enough, between Samarras low self esteem, anxiety about school, breakdowns over time issues, death and trying to smother her sister and I..............that was my days= )   lol Like how I make all that stuff sound so casually normal......................Be around a child with aspergers long and you know.. IT IS NORMAL!!!!!!

Here are some goodies!!!

 Samarra with friend J.R at the zoo.............This is the friend she gets along best with!
 Siahna at the zoo

Have a wonderful day!!!!!!!

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Aspergers, Rapper in da houze!! Mind focused! July 19, 2011

GOOD Morning, Happy Tuesday!!!

My weather report for the day........ HOT
NewsOK Weather

I have decided I am a ZOMBIE at night and human in the day!!!!!!!!! This is probably why I am best friends with my sub-human, because we love zombies!!! Now I don't really have a problem with this and thank GOD I don't bruise easy!!! My husband thinks it is funny, and actually I do too..LOLOLOL....... But am I the only one???


Here is what I am talking about..........  I don't drink, not even a little so that cant be it... lol........ When I wake up in the morning before I even make it to the bathroom, or kitchen, I have fallen against a few walls, like I am not alive and i will be holding on like i cant walk. I have no pain, legs working fine... BRAIN GONE!  Very often I think of the old commercial I think for Dunkin Donuts where the guy walks around saying.."Time to make the donuts"   HAHAHA......... Anyway!!!!!! I was just thinking of this this morning when I was wondering if I should just crawl and give up  lololol  And makes me wonder why am I so weird!

OK, now on to the night.................. So now I have to come up with a new plan, because i was so mad last night.........When I say I am mad, you would never know, but i kn ow on the inside! Samarra has decided she will make dinner since it is not ready when I get home.............PLEASE tell me if anyone can figure out how I can make dinner while I am not at home, let me know when you figure THAT one out.  

So now we have started debating, arguing, whatever you want to call it for about 3 work nights about when I walk in..........STILL NO Hi mom, all i get greeted with is, "is dinner ready. Of course my answer is no, and she then informs me she is going home to make dinner...  Now I am dealing with the baby and i am trying to catch her going out the door and i have to yell.........Samarra!, NO, I will make dinner, just wait. She of course says.. I CANT and is gone............I am yelling YOU BETTER NOT!! And she is gone............ UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

She heard me!!  She came back in and started talking about how dinner is late..............I still have to figure out how the heck did 5:30 become dinner time, I don't even get home until then!!!!!!!!! This is dumb, I must have had dinner at 5:30 at some point. GGGRRRRRRR...............

I have been trying to use the... Samarra  YOU can control your reaction........You may have aspergers and it is hard, but YOU can control it, your almost 7 and I expect you to control it. She is working her way into a meltdown at the moment so I start in with the control............ I use distracting statements and use the word control a lot and have direct eye contact.........See no doctor has told me this , but if you can keep eye contact and keep their mind focused to our world, I have noticed it doesn't happen as often........And guess what................NO BREAKDOWN.......................She actually said........I DID IT MOMMY!!!   I was so proud of her!!!

I wanted to cry at this moment............We got home , ate dinner and all was pretty good until she decided wanted to take a bath after she was in bed.....This time the control thing didnt work............Apparently when she was three we used to take baths at this time, and she says.. I ALWAYS take baths at this time. Freakin Elephant memory. And MELTDOWN............Screaming ..........crying.............kicking...............mad.............throwing things.........High pitched scream............AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH my brain is going to explode, but i just walk away and go to lay on my bed.......... 10 min about, done......... Good night mommy, I love you....................

I will tell you with her, she sets her mind to something and that is it..............................Problem is, her things are not usually safe things in our world which causes a problem.........  She actually asked me one time if she could touch the inside of the oven.............REALLY??????????  Who's world is that ok in??   lololol  And then I get the "your mean" comment............ maybe she is weird, cause I am???   Maybe I need therapy!

So She decided she would become a Rap Artist last night.................. HEHE      GUESS WHAT!  She did pretty darn good actually!!

So here is what I will leave you with for today... Some oldie but goody photos and her rap.

 Here is the Rap
I want to be a rapper, but I cant right now
I have to go to school and get some know how
My birthdays comin up  and I want a party and psp
But momma said she cant afford to do them both.. BOO me!!!!!!!!

Tell me that's not great!!!!!!



 Got the FRO going on= )

Baby rapper


Have an AWESOME DAY!!!!

Monday, July 18, 2011

Aspergers, Does medicine hurt or help... hummm July 18, 2011

GOOD MORNING !!!!!!

Today is going to be a wonderful day...... today is going to be a wonderful day............JOIN ME  Today is going to be a wonderful day..............  OK, now tap your heels three times................Is it happening yet??? 

HAHAHA, of course it will be= )

OH, better late than never... Here is Blood Bath Barbie 


I did try to put clothes on her so she wouldn't look so EW, but still looks grose  lolol

So this weekend I think a MAJOR catastrophe might have happened cause i don't remember a lot of it.....I am pretty sure I have blocked it out...............I GUESS maybe it was just a good weekend? Could it be ???????? I do remember only three times that i had to step in with my MOMMY POWER, but other than that pretty good.

So I forgot to give her her pills this weekend, I think i wasa just all out of it or something... BUT, so here is my observations...

-She goes NON stop.
-She was quite a bit more verbal than usual and she has this HIGH pitched squeal that she does A LOT!!!!!!!!! You know the kind that when you hear it makes a person's FIGHT OR FLIGHT kick in and i want to do anything to make it stop. OH that's only me???  oops lol  maybe I need a headset.........I did think about putting it on this weekend.
-She is unable to handle emotional situations a lot less, she reacts with the rocking and ears covered when something gets too emotional for her......This usually is related to excitement.
- Her anxiety level is quite a bit higher and she verbalizes things more, meaning we talked about death a bunch more than usual. YAY for me!!!!!!!!!!
-She is quite a bit more aggressive in her approach meaning she comes to hug, it is a lunge from across the room and she wont let go even when you cant breath .. I have to push her away........

HOWEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Here are some good things. about not taking the meds.

-She is more active
-She doesn't express herself in a lower self esteem that i noticed which portrays a higher confidence level of thinking.
-She doesn't cry as much randomly.

So my question is, aren't the pro's a little better than the Con's............I don't know, I am tired as all heck today cause of the amount of energy and destruction, but she seemed happier.............HUMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

So Samarra went to her first MOVIE at the theater this weekend... Winnie the Pooh....  She was so very nervous about going.........We planned out taking her headset and we planned out the whole thing before we left and we went over the schedule at least ten times, then she walked around and repeated the schedule probably another 50 times or more. We then had to write them down on a piece of paper and she put it in her shirt like she had on a bra..........

BWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA   LOLOLOLOLOL  Yes I do put like a dollar here and there in there if my hands are full and cant get to pocket, or purse  .lololol  so she puts the paper in her top... lol and it falls to floor....

OK, she got herself ll worked up cause of the schedule, this weekend was about writing things down.. She had to question each step of the schedule and she would get herself worked up to the point of not being able to handle the emotions of it and she would drop down and start rocking and holding her ears and speaking under her breath  and if her sister got near she would get mad and push her away.. then she would ask something about the schedule and then this went on for a few hours prior to time to go..........

I was REALLY questioning my decision to go, but it has to happen sometime!!! 

AND WE ARE OFF!!!

So I hope we will stick to the steps  cause I made the schedule according to how mom said we would do it.

Drive to Bricktown.
Park the car
Get tickets
Go to the bathroom, while Mimi gets popcorn and drink.
As we walk she is squeezing my hand as if she is in labor !!!!!!!!!! She says to me in the most shaky voice you have heard.............I think this was a bad idea.......I should have stayed home with the baby.........
I told her...........But you know what... you are doing it and it is all ok and we are on  a schedule and if we don't like it, we just get up and leave, no big deal right??

She says right and we go to the bathroom............... I had to hold her hand in the stall............blah.. but ok whatever.......

Went in theater and got a seat on the first step of the incline. Samarra does NOT do stairs. And we got settled in............Nice quiet music playing.........

And then previews and the Sound check part came on, The look of HOLY TERROR hit her face and with headset grabbed her ears and my arm at same time and I swear her eyes looked as if someone was ripping her apart limb by limb.........

I was lucky to have her looking at me at this time and I was like its over now............. WHEW.. The actual movie started and well it wasn't loud as I thought it might be, so the rest went GREAT!!!!!!!!!!


SUCCESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Besides me loosing my temper over her counting when I spoke a couple times, and her trying to commit suicide by jumping off the cabinets which her sister was trying to copy...........OH and the fact that, i have 2 or 3 bruises where she ran at me so hard i got knocked down......... Not a bad weekend!!!!!!

OH Did I mention Siahna has not talked yet and she is almost 2?????????????? Well you will be so happy to know that she now has a pretty good vocabulary going thanks to Samarra.

Siahna's vocabulary now:
Dada, came first, BOO i hate him for that  lolol
Ba.. for ball
She whisper poo poo, you know what that's for .
Dira, for diarrhea
Fot for fart
Bup for burp
BOOO
Shi Shi  for sissy
Mama........................THANK YOU FINALLY!!!!!!!

A mother has to be proud!!!!!!!!              UGGGGGGGG

I have two boys in girls bodies.............. Both of them with their daddy do all the above freely and they all three bust out laughing when one does.............. I am going to need some serious money to retrain them as ladies!!!!!!!!

OK well got to go to work..... If i missed something from this weekend, it is because most is a blur!

Here are some cute ones

YES, I am more cool than you will EVA be!!!
 Samarra, in her new social class, she is in the girl group in the back under the coolest swing!
 Samarra got her hair "DID" this weekend............WHEW three hours just gone!  She does well though... Poor baby was begging for Tylenol by 8 pm.....Those out there who know about getting your hair braided, know what I am talking about there..........The hurt sneaks up on ya!
 Siahna chillaxin in MY chair!
Have a wonderful day!!!!


Friday, July 15, 2011

Aspergers Pinch me !!! Am I dreaming??? July15, 2011

Happy Happy Friday to you!!!  Happy Happy Friday to you!!!

That was a song in case you didn't know to the birthday song on OETA Sprout with Chica= ) And most of you probably still don't know...LOLOL  That is one of those random moments I break out in a child song! Random yes, but often at home and at work..  HEHE

OK, So really PINCH, BITE, HIT me or something, cause i think I may be asleep........
 
If I am I am going to mad as heck, cause I already got ready for work and I don't want to do it again........ And you are asking why??????

Last night I had no emotional issues come up!!!!!!!!!!! I dont know how it happened but it did...............

So for those of you who relate and those who follow and know.............................it is time for me to do the HAPPY DANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  The happy dance should be kept completely in house.............Why do the kids look at me funny???   HUM...  lolol        You remember when you were younger watching your mom or dad and thinking they were total geeks/weirdos/an embarrassment to society????  I am one of them now! And my children would be right. I fit in all those categories and I am proud and don't care, which makes it worse cause I will do the craziest things just to see their reaction and it is fun!

I did make up a song about poopy diapers last night= )  Samarra says to me.. Look at you mom your a song writer........ I think it is not going to go platinum, but the girls sure liked it and laughed and it was the #1 on our chart all night!!  lol

We did have time issues, routine issues just a little and some sensitivity issues, but I think I am used to all that. Doesn't mean I don't have moments of great anxiety, but its ok.

First one was about dinner of course, i am not quick enough to get dinner ready. I walk in to get the girls and Samarra comes running up, no Hi mom, no mommy!!!, no i missed you, no I love you...........But her usual.. whats for dinner, is it ready? I say no and She says I am going home and making dinner........ I am like Samarra you better not.... She says it is almost 5:45 we are late and i am going to make dinner.. bye and she is out the door..........Thank God we live next door or I probably would have to pick her up hitch hiking!

So here is a small panic moment........CRAP...........come on girls we have to hurry, I am thinking what is my kitchen going to look like........... So we hurry and get home and I was able to stop the disaster of July 14, 2011..............Only thing she had out so far was cheese, tortillas, and eggs, and milk..........Well at least it was healthy!!  LOL So I went with it.. I make ham and cheese tortilla wraps... Pretty good actually.

That really was the biggest challenge of the night......

I still need to go to Time Anonymous Recovery Classes......... I just cant quit saying "just a second" or "Just a minute"     Then when I do say it i stumble all over my words trying to say something different before she starts counting. uggggggggg.    


I do know one thing right off that helped alot was they played with daddy more than usual last night, so I had help when I normally don't.

So Sorry for the boring blog post today, but trust me, I would rather not HAVE to vent/post.. whatever this is... therapy... lolol

Here are some oldie but goodies= )



Have an awesome Friday, and Be safe this weekend !!! 

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Aspergers How do I know when I am insane.. Do insane people know it??? July 14, 2011 14, 2011

Happy Thursday!!!!!!!!

It was only 76 degrees on my way to work, I thought I was going to freeze to death in the car!!!!!! lol So,  I know I was lazy and didn't post yesterday, but it was a quite busy day. But I am back.

I AM GOING TO RANT A MOMENT PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!! To be honest, this non cussing person wants to when it comes to this, but I am not sure I even could and it sound right  lolol

So I think I am a good parent and I try to do what is the best fo rmy kids and I feel like knowledge can help me so I have been trying to use the internet as a source of information on how to help Samarra.........I GIVE UP!!!!!!!! Why the HECK do people focus on the negative more than the positive????    So this is what I learn........

Asperger kids...........
Probably wont get married
Has one of the highest suicide rates
Wont have a lot of friends
Job opportunities are low in most fields

WELL GUESS WHAT.............All ya'll "professional's" Can kiss my bootay! Maybe if they would not do their stupid studies to see how some turn out and use that money to encourage and teach then it wouldn't happen that way.  Keep your stupid statistics for those who let others decide their fate and are followers!!!!!!  BE A LEADER!!!! Dang, I hate when people here things and then go into the mode of  self pity and think doom is the ultimate outcome........HELLO???......... You think it and it will be........ DUMB DUMB DUMB!!!!!! So with my rant out.... Those of you out there looking for answers, don't rely on others............you know your child, find positive reinforcement.........Even doctors, sometimes are focused more on pills than dealing with the actual situation.........GEEZE.  OH, and one last thing...........Don't label your child as NOT NORMAL. We all have issues............... Samarra asked me just yesterday.........  MOM, why does my brain work different than others?..............

Here is my response to that.


The same reason why Elizabeth is allergic to chocolate and peanut butter, the same reason why mommy likes to clean and you don't, the same reason you don't like mustard and daddy does..........We are ALL different and we ALL have to learn to adjust to our own things......... True some are harder than others, but we learn to understand and cope with it.


She says to me........That is a great explanation mom, I am going to use that.....  LOLOL

So the last few days have been kind of mild, I think I am learning from myself on how to lower the amount of drama and stress that comes up on a daily basis..........NO i didn't say it was all gone!

OR.......OR........, I could have WENT INSANE FOR REAL and I am in another world mentally where I just don't care= ) lolololol OMGosh scary.......would I really know if I did or not??? HAHAHAHA

You know the night wouldn't be complete with out counting and the wonderful mother daughter discussions about death.............GOOD times...lol Here is the one that came out of nowhere last night.........

Samarra: I like graves
Mom:You like what?
Samarra:I like graves
Mom:What are you talking about... (I just wanted to make sure we were on same page... lol...........HERE WE GO AGAIN)
Samarra: Mom, think about it, is there more than one GRAVE?
Mom: Well I was just checking.. So why do you like graves?
Samarra: Cause you bury dead people in them.
Mom: OK..........And you like this why?
Samarra: Like you.
Mom: I am not dead
Samarra: Well you will be
Mom: True, but I hope for not a long time......
Samarra: But when you do it will be cool to put you in a grave
Mom: Nice Samarra
Samarra: Well then I can come visit you
Mom: I am not going for a long time, but ok..
Samarra: We could have spitting contests
Mom: What when I am dead?
Samarra: No me and Siahna when we can come visit you.
Mom: hmmmm
Samarra: Well we would miss you I am sure, but at least you would be in a grave.
Mom: I decide I don't want to talk about my death anymore so I stop asking questions............But you know, at least she said she would miss me lolol

Precious memories I carry with me= ) HAHAHAHA

Ok, so the update on the new Therapist and the new social class is not as exciting as it may sound.... It was the first one, and she always enjoys or does well in first situations...........it is when she develops a certain routine out of it that things become an issue........ The therapist said her biggest concern is the self image Samarra has........... She is soooooooo down on herself and I know it, and I give her a lot of positive feedback and it seems to do nothing for her... maybe I can learn from the therapist as well= )

So we have played moon doh for a couple days. Somehow moondoh became the perfect thing for throwing across the room when I walk out!!!! But I guess it gives me something to clean... lolol













I then got out Elefun for the girls to play with... you know the game where the elephant trunk blows out fake butterflies and they have nets to catch them????????

Well my lovely daughters decided to play something different......

Here are my kids in training to rob a bank....... Siahna started it and i was cracking up!!!!!!















LOL have a great day!!!!!!!!

LOVE HARD AND LOVE OFTEN!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Aspergers Stop asking please!!!! July12, 2011

Good Morning!!!!!!!


Darla's weather report................. It's Hot at HECK!!!!!!!!!!!! With water for air!

If you work outside, be careful!

Get a baby pool!!!



Yes, little perfect me who is so sweet and loving and never ever gets upset................Um yes that's  me...lolol lost it last night for like 3 seconds............lolol AND..........AND..........I yelled!!!!!!! OH THE SHAME  !  um NOT.

Why is it when that happens I look back instantly and realize how stupid i was and its kinda embarrassing lolol BUT, I don't feel bad about it at least not 100% because I control myself well and if i lost it, I must have needed it. So whats done is done......... You should have seen the looks on everyone's faces.. that was funny......I am sorry, it shouldn't be, but it was SORRY = (

So here is why....... I will really try to cut this short, but take what I am about to say and make this last from 5:30 until 7:30....


I got home and went to get the girls.....Samarra instantly asks to play a game......DON'T EVER say YES right then, or she will drag you down to play instantly......I am not stupid, so I say We will see after dinner and straitening up ok? She is ok with this...  YAY!

She runs home, we are having roast, carrots and potatoes for dinner.......I finish up and get home only to find out she has already made herself mini pizzas and has started to eat them.........UGGG  this with in less than 5 minutes. OH well, I will get Siahna's dinner ready and here it goes.........over the next 2 hours Samarra says one or more of the following combination's to me even though i may be making dinner, eating, going to the restroom, babies bath...doesn't matter......

Can we play the game now
Lets play the game now
I have never played a game in a long time
The last time we played a game was Sunday at 2:04................(Heaven forbid she not remember the 04)
No one ever wants to play a game with me
Are you ready to play the game
Will you get the game out now
Crying.. lets play now, i need to play the game now

There were others I am sure, but you get the picture.............these were ALL said with in one..MAYBE two minutes of each other, so don't think i told her in just a bit and then tried to forget about it... Oh and some of this involved her dragging on me while I am trying to put stuff up from making dinner... and her trying to shove more food in her sisters mouth than she should to make her hurry and eat......

Well it was 7:30 and I was finally ready to play the game and I sat down and started to say what game..........She flipped out cause I sat down and started to get all crazy, and THEN IT HAPPENED.. I wish there was a sound effect I could have put to those words.. would have sounded cool............

Anyway. I Yelled, for me, but also to get her back to our reality OK, LETS PLAY THE GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!

The whole house went quiet and both girls were staring at me like , well I don't know really...But I do have to say again, they did have funny looks on there face. SORRY AGAIN!

I set the game up and Siahna is grabbing all the pieces and stuff and we begin to play.........LESS THAN TWO MINUTES INTO GAME, Samarra says.......This is not as fun as I wanted it to be, I dont want to play.. we should wait until Siahna is older so she can play with us and not destroy the game.

ARE YOU FREAKIN SERIOUS?????????? UGGGGG


So not in mood to play myself, I put the game up and go lay on the bed, girls like to power slam on my body for some reason when I do this. Samarra also uses this opportunity to instruct Siahna to hit me.. which I will not allow ever ever ever ever............. Did i say ever?  Ok good.. So I tell Samarra STOP doing that.Why would you do that.. She says.................................Cause I want you to hurt................  Sigh........I ask her why she wants that and of course the answer is because it is funny..............Samo samo...............I am sorry I don't feel like this conversation tonight..........On to baths.

Well the rest of the whole hour of the night went pretty well...............And really if you look back the night wasn't horrible, just IRRITATING!!!! But nothing I cant survive = )

Yes, I forgot to take a picture of Blood Bath Barbie............But I will leave you with some cute ones= )




We go to the new therapist today....Wish us luck, update will come= )

Have a HAPPY TUESDAY!!!

Monday, July 11, 2011

Aspergers, Up and Down.... Barbie blood bath!! July 11, 2011

Happy Monday!

Well......made it through a whole weekend!  I can tell your so proud...lolol

So My Friday night I had a date night with the girls... LOL you thought I might actually say I went out with out them........YEA....I am pretty sure it has been since August 31, 2004 since I have done that!   I really need to get out........But whatever..........I got home and took the girls to a new Italian place in Midwest City called Napoli's........I really liked it, I will go back... The girls liked it also and the prices are decent= )  Always a good thing.. BUT I had a wimgo deal voucher that I got $ dollars of food with!!!!!!!  Don't you wish you had one???

Wimgo deals

Here are the girls....



After Dinner, my continued date consisted of going to Walmart..........OH fun......... But I managed to spend less than I usually do!!  WOO HOO

The cashier was talking about something the prices are lower right now cause of something......But he also talked about how he was this and that and IQ off the chart and wanted to save the world.........So I am  not sure if all of it was true or not.......As I watched him the thought came to my head.........If he says he wants "World Peace" I am going to crack up!!!!!!!!!!   About that time Samarra says to him. I bet my IQ is higher than yours is........... He looking at a 6 year old, says...I am sure you are very smart taking no offense to it...............FUNNY thing is....She is most likely right!  LOLOL

So we went home, got the girls settled down and the night was pretty good...........No meltdowns nothing all night.

Saturday, CAN IT GET HOTTER????  So I decided yup I will put up the MEGALATRON slip and slide my mom thought up.........My mom is so AMAZING and creative!

So here is the recipe for it.....

-Long rope,
-Get 12 to 14 swimming noodles with the hole down the middle.
-String rope through all of them and lay it out long on grass.
-Buy a role of the clear/white industrial strength plastic
-Open it up and double lay it on top of the noodles
-Put slide at the high end
-Start filling with water....The noodles hold the water in about 2 in. deep, they also keep all children on the slide, no mud!!! Now, it is real hot so we did keep the sprinkler on at the same time and I put a little hut at the end for the baby to play in as well...  SAFETY you know... But her poor little white skin, she had on long sleeves and long pants and 75+ sun screen..

And that is the recipe for fun.... Here it is.

 Unlike most slip and slides this one was used for over 2 hours...... It is nice to be able to lay in the water also. = )

So this day prior to going outside, Samarra is very anxious so we have a few issues with keeping her calm while the baby napped... She gets so extremely overly excited and does the African dance and is just a MAJOR pain..........Yes, I said my daughter is a pain, hey I know you all know what I am saying and you have said it to about someone.............you just don't say it.....LOLOLOL.......She asked me every minute or informs me that each minute has passed. UGGGGG... jumps on things, gets loud........... and the countdown.......... Anyway, it was not a break down for her but I almost had one........

YAY...........she quit asking me about the slip and slide............listen to that.......quiet..............AHHHHHH

OH CRAP wait........that is bad, i forgot....  Here I go............... OMGOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is a total BLOOD BATH!!!!!!

The barbies have died a horrible death.............Samarra has taken.. yes, naked barbie and colored her with a red marker and when asked what she is doing, she says........I making it look like she has been cut up in a bunch of pieces........................  My response to this is................NICE Samarra.. That's awesome.........Gross and I take the marker and walk off............Samarra says what??  It was fun.........         I just kept walking.......I am not sure I want to know why, don't ask and don't get an answer........  lol

Yes, I forgot to take a pic, but I will tomorrow= )

So now on to Sunday and guess what She knows she is going to the swimming pool with the church and daddy tonight.....................So I am going to make this short, from 11 a.m. until she went that night, every 1 to 2 minutes she asked about it, made a comment about it, ask if she was still going and repeat all day long...........I did go on my room for like 10 min at one point and closed the door and told her she was not allowed to open my door or she would not go.............it worked!!!!!!

I got to play with the baby for a bit while they were gone so I took a couple pics of her... here she is= )


So she had a BLAST and hasn't quit talking about it since then.

Overall the weekend was pretty close to perfect!

Have a Wonderful day!!!!!!!!

Friday, July 8, 2011

Aspergers July 8 extra post.. Live my life through him for a minute.

BONUS POST

So I saw this video today and it is VERY similar to our dinners at times not 100% the same, he is a bit more vocal, and she doesn't say "no" as much...But she does say it.........She knows i loose my mind when she does. lololol...... And she is so much like me too!  Just go with the flow.....

Not all our dinners are like this........This scenario is only when she is agitated about something else first, or maybe not hungry  or she doesn't want to eat what she has been given. This scenario NEVER happens in public either, I don't know why, BUT THANK GOD IN HEAVEN it doesn't!  lololol


Dinner with an autistic/ asperger child

Aspergers Meltdown with pictures this time!!! Negativity...blah! July 8, 2011

Happy Friday............ And my payday!!!

Darla's thought: So I was on my way to work and I thought of something............ Negative promotes negative, but positive doesn't always promote positive....... Isn't that weird how negative and frowns and bad attitudes spread like wild fire, but smiles get scoffed at and don't spread as easy???  I thought at that moment that my blog is so negative sometimes and I just want everyone to know that yes, my life is a bit stressful and some days to others I may have no reason to smile.. But I try to focus on the positives of EVERYTHING and I don't walk around looking like the world has ended or like my life is horrible...  It isn't...I have a job, a house, food, clothes, two beautiful children, a great family and friends. Is there more that isn't an object??? So as you may be reading this and some of the things you read spark an emotion in you or an unhappy thought............please make sure you smile and let it go.......  We can start the happy virus if we wanted to= )

OK now on to small hell night  lololol

I pull in the driveway...........its hot..........I go in the house and change clothes, I go from shiek to freak in my clothing choice   HAHAHAHA  No its true............. I go next door and it happened....................

Samarra: Can we stay for dinner with Mimi?
Me: Honey did Mimi ask us to?
Samarra: No but we stayed for dinner the other night so we will tonight
Me: It doesn't work like that honey..
Samarra: But I want to stay, Mimi doesn't mind and we did the other night, i just really need to stay here to eat.
Me: Stress level went up 1000% I know whats coming.. Mom is sitting down in playroom, no dinner on table which tells me mom has not planned on us being there for dinner.......... GOD HELP ME !
Samarra: Mimi, can we stay for dinner, i need to.
Mimi: Honey I havent even thought about dinner, just give me a minute
Me: Whispers to mom........Just tell her no, we know what is gooing to happen lets get it overwith.. im getting stressed out waiting for it.
Samarra: So can we Mimi
Me: Honey we are going to go home and eat.. lets get ready..Mimi does not need more work, she needs some rest time...
Samarra: But I need to eat here, we ALWAYS eat here.
Me: UM, no we ate here one day in the last month.. come on lets get our stuff
Samarra: MIMI???
Mimi: No honey I will go to your house for a minute and you can eat there, I will bring the popcorn chicken ok?
Me: Yea that sounds good huh Samarra.
Samarra: But I need to sit at Mimi's table!
Me: Ok, I am done playing............Samarra we are going home, get your stuff and lets go.
Samarra: I cant.. I need to stay here and eat.........I need to, i need to, i need to , I need to, I need to....
Me: Sigh
Samarra: Screaming, kicking throwing herself on couch, pillow on face screaming loud!!!!!
Siahna: Baby Crying now............She gets stressed out when Samarra gets so loud.. and she starts hitting her head on things on purpose..........WOW this is lovely.......... I have been home about 10 min now.........

 So I am always posting lovely pictures of my kids.. well I decided here is one of Samarra on couch screaming...  No you don't get a full picture cause it is a photo, but if you ever doubted me.....lololol

Samarra on Mimi's couch on the playroom screaming like you never heard!

So I get stuff together and end up almost dragging her home only for her to get worse at home and the full blown part started.. no pics of this sorry...lol

So I get dinner together and get the girls to the table...........meltdown or not, I make or drag Samarra to where she is suppose to be and here she is at the table......... You don't get to see the legs flying or the sound of what is coming out of her mouth....She is not in our world at the moment......... Look at her face and see the classic arm folding which goes from this to holding her head.

Notice Elizabeth is eating peacefully as though Samarra is not even there, and Siahna is as well on the other side......

I just let her do her thing until she was done...........She sat up and ate everything, had a popsicle and the night continued on.

Oh I made the mistake of saying "a second" and "a minute" a few times, and she tried the we play games all the time thing, but we got through it a lot better than the dinner thing...........

I want to add a positive thing she is, she is sooooo loving, she has so many emotions to share with people..... Give her a chance and you will feel loved! 

Happy Happy JOY JOY.....................  What show???


I just cant leave this with ewe pictures only so here is an oldie but goodie for you!!! Samarra at 9 months old........Look at the fro!
 Have a wonderful day and share a smile!!!!!!!

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Aspergers, OCD causes meltdowns!! How to manage...

Happy Thursday!!!

I am sooooooooooooooooooo MAD!!!!!!  I dreamed it was Friday and I had already got up and showered , dressed, the whole thing then my alarm goes off!!!!!!    I had to do it all over again and it isn't Friday....... UGGG A positive note is I liked what I was wearing in the dream and I am wearing it today  lololol

Oh well, that is so minor, just very irritated, but I did it over and I am happy= )

So I made a realization last night that I am going to have to ponder on........My OCD causes Samarra to have meltdowns more!!

So here is how it worked, I clean, I actually like to clean, I have to clean actually. This for whatever reason calms me and I am in a good mood mentally. The house is not perfect, and I don't have OCD to the point of freaking out, but I like my house in order before I go to bed or I cant sleep well.. So I usually come home and just follow everyone around so I don't have a big mess to clean...............here are some issues with this...

1. Everyone knows I am going to get it so they leave it.... I am not teaching my children to clean up after themselves.
2. Samarra is VERY needy and wants me next to her at all times............She is constantly wanting me to play a game , watch her play computer, just sit with me.......Well realistically this just cant happen, but by me  constantly cleaning it causes her to have more meltdowns.

I went out to take the trash out last night and she is crying begging me not to leave her.......... What is this.. I am not throwing myself in the trash can to be thrown out.......I am coming back in.. This is very irritating to me, and no there is no reason for her to come with me, because then the baby wants to come out and she screams if she cant.. IVE TRIED......... then if they both come out, Siahna doesn't want to go back in. And now we are in the skin melting sun! Have you seen Siahna???  If her skin was anymore white she would be translucent! We walk outside and her skin turns red instantly!

So my point is...........the meltdown is easier than the other and she needs to learn somehow someway she will make it through my 30 sec trip to the trash.........So this is what i get when I do go out............Doesn't she look like she could kill me?????














So last night was yet 80% no drama at the house, but I spent a lot of time playing games... I AM GAMED OUT!!!!!!!

Hide and Seek 



BINGO



And Tic Tac Toe

And Dominoes, well kind of dominoes.. Started playing and Wheel of Fortune came on so Samarra quickly left me and Siahna to play by ourselves.........Then got all crazy because I wasn't watching it and proceeded to tell me each minute that went by that i was not seeing it!!!!!!!!!! 


So I guess I am going to have to find a way to do what I need to do and work with her as well............

It seems so simple of a thing so why didn't I think of it sooner?????  

But we did have a few meltdowns last night, but they were routine things. I don't seem to get stressed out as much anymore about them, but then the house was clean too, when she has a meltdown and the house isnt in order I get more stressed.............. MAYBE I am the one with aspergers and everyone else is not??   LOLOLOL 

The first one was about dinner......... It was after 5:30 when she began eating.........So from 5:30 until I think it was 5:37 she was repeating herself, freaking out.. pacing, getting angry, saying things like why cant you just be on time!!!!!!!!!

I am not going to complain at all.. night was good, house is not exactly how I would like it to be and I am a bit anxious about that... but I am the adult so I will deal with mine if it helps her be less full of anxiety............... 

UNTIL I go completely insane from not cleaning as much anyway  lolol I will just walk around talking to myself and twitching from withdrawal  HAHAHA.......Then you can see me on the show hoarders, my house will be a mess, but Samarra will be fine!  lolol..............Then my sub-human, Jalaine will have to come rescue me!!!!!  Ok, why did i even think of all that.. see the madness has started... HELP ME!!!!!

WHY can I not get a song from Missy Elliot out of my head.. I think this is three days now!  uggg

Have a great day, I know I will= )