Aspergers? ODD...... BABIES FIRST FIGHT!!!... lolol Sept. 9, 2011

HAPPY Friday!!!

Happy Happy Dance.........Happy Happy Dance..........You know the one I will never let you see!!!!!!!!! lololol

What did I do???  I was just being sweet and this bully came along.. and I HAD to fight them.....  lololol

So Siahna was in her first fight yesterday on the second day of her "school". SHE WON!!...SHE WON!!!...LOL BUT she turned her back on them and she got bit in the back!!! I told this to Aaron and he says.... SEEEEEEEEEEEE that is why you kick em down and then re-kick them to make sure they stay down when you walk away...............LOLOLOL I don't know about you, but I don't think this is suppose to pertain to babies??? I don't know.. lol But whatever, it was kind of funny......The weirdest thing is, I would LOVE to have that fight on video...I know Siahna was on it!!!!!!! LOLOLOL BAD BAD mommy....... I do not condone violence... lol


Ok, this next part in case my niece is reading i will have to improvise a bit.... Went to the doctor........he is a urologist....Now, I don't know if they have different rooms for men and women........BUT, if they do I was not in the room for women...lololol I go in.. put purse down, sit in chair and start observing my surroundings.........WELL, you know how they have educational posters and models of body parts, diagrams, hand held puzzles to show inside and stuff........ I counted.......I was in the room with ONE female image and 4 male images and 8 life size models of a males body parts.........So my question to you, how would you feel LOLOLOLOLOL OK, I am so childish.. I feel like i just said the word "underwear"!!!!!! lolololol

OK, OK.. enough about me and my weird thoughts..... So we went to dinner with my dad and Janie last night at the heart hospital on Sooner and I-240, not bad.... I ate more than I had in a week!!! It was nice and it took up time we could have been home having meltdowns.... YAY!!! lol

So we get home get stuff ready for bed and GUESS WHAT!!!!!!!!!! I had a full day NO drama!!!!!!! NO MELTDOWNS......... Is this what it feels like????? Like I felt like giving a Thank YOU speech at that moment to anyone with the tears and everything! lol

So the night was good.. only things of course don't change is her needing to be next to me..........her counting when i screw up and say "THE WORDS".... and routine things we do every night= )

So I am ready for the weekend and I am going to have those positive thoughts that things will go great!!!!!!! I will try it.. hope it works!!!!!! Actually doesnt the word "HOPE" mean you have doubt? HMMMMMMMMMMMM

I had a pic of dad, Janie and the girls, but it didn't get saved= (

Have an AWESOME DAY!!

Aspergers? ODD.... My genius shows her powers! Sept. 8, 2011

Happy Happy Thursday!!!!!!


Happy Birthday to Jessie!!!!!! My sub-human's daughter is 17...She is like another daughter in my mind to me........I was struggling with it a bit yesterday= ( Love ya Jessie!!!!

Ok so last night was CRAZY......Mom calls me and reminds me Samarra is starting "Sparks" at the church and she has to be there at 6........ Ok so get home, take Samarra.. While I am there I check out the school Siahna started.............OMG it is so cute.. She walked around like she owned the place!!!!!! I am DIVA MOVE OUT OF MY WAY!!!!!!

This is their play area.

The whole place is so adorable!!! I was going to try and take pics of Samarra, but it was kids everywhere!!!!!

So basically as long as she is going there I kinda get an hour and a half for myself... kinda lol Is that bad that I will look forward to it........Is it also bad that I wished I could be lazy and not have to get out of car to go to her class and get her up what seems like 1000 stairs??? Is it my imagination or do kids stairs seem more narrow and steep? ORRRRRR could it be my butt is out of shape and i should spend the hour going up and down the stairs... or go across the street to the YMCA..... LOLOLOL

OK, keep the comments to yourself on that one please lol I know the answer.. lololol

Ok, so TWO things........ I am Samarra's mom.. I KNOW when something isn't right and I have not been able to relay my concern to the therapist right apparently cause I am being told which is TRUE.. that my daughter "The Genius" has me wrapped lolol in her little sly ways... lol BUT!!!!!!!!!! I am telling you something is not right!!!!

Remember how I said she chooses to be with me than play with kids?? Well I finally decided to call the therapist and talk to her with out Samarra there......I just told her yes, I agree with the way we are headed and no they didn't convince me.. I see it for sure........BUT She is NOT just manipulating me....She has some REAL concerns and things she is I believe reaching out for help on......

TELL ME THIS....when you walk out of a room does your child scream to hear your voice and then just responds with ..I love you....Only to know where you are.........If you are out of the room for more than a minute, does your child come running in with a look of panic saying I couldn't find you????? if you go to the garage and she calls for you and you scream as loud as you can for her to hear you and she doesn't and she continues to scream and then comes to the garage door with massive tears, not just a little but streams of tears and fear all over her face.. Do you see what I mean????? That is not normal...... So the doctor finally GETS that there is a huge separation anxiety thing going on...... Now I just need some help with fixing it.. or finding out why..... WHATEVER.. just help me not make her scared!!!!

OK 2nd thing..........Going to talk to the teacher at school tomorrow.... Teacher says Samarra is not in the proper grade.. she does all the work in like seconds then goes around the class helping the rest of them.... She is not learning.. she is teaching lololol So I agree and I will allow her to be moved one grade ONLY for now.. I dont want her with bigger kids......But we have to keep her going forward as well.......

Teacher says.. she needs to know all the states and capitals for 3rd grade.. I am like she does.... She needs to know division... She does..... lol She does not know roman numerals.. but when I said something about it........Samarra pipes in and says.. yes I know my Roman numerals.. the 3rd grade did it yesterday and I listened... and proceeded to go through all the Roman numerals........WOW impressive.........I must say that is impressive and I am so proud... I tell her I am proud and she says.. i don't know why it is easy lolol

Ok, so that is the two things for today .... See was this not a lovely post??? No breakdowns... no killing.......no screaming..........Oh wait there was screaming but that's ok....

I love my daughter more than my life, but I will enjoy Wed. evening for 1 hour and thirty seconds..... And to Samarra that is 5400 second!!!!!!

OH did I mention i sent her to jail?? LOL no I didn't.. My Brother-in-law is a MWC police officer and the kids like to go up there with him= )

Have an AWESOME THURSDAY!!!!!!

Aspergers? ODD!! ....Wait.....Am I going backwards??? WTHeck! Sept. 7, 2011

HAPPY HAPPY MORNING TO YOU!!!!

So I am not sure what is happening here, but I think i might be going backward in time.........Now as far as not getting older and more wrinkly.....AWESOME! BUT back in time with Samarra.......UM NO BUENO!!!!!!!

I don't know what the heck happened, but seems like the total mental breakdowns are coming back and with full force.........I am trying the new techniques and i seem to be failing miserably.........Ok, at least the last few days.........The only thing I can chalk it up to is the change in schedule from being in school to being on a break.........It has to be.........GOD PLEASE let it be!!! Maybe it will go back to normal now.

Samarra lost her dang mind last night and I was on my way to a nervous breakdown.......

It was a lovely afternoon, light cool breeze, birds chirping....you could hear neighbors outside.......OK the neighbors part is kinda scary since i live in the kinda "hood" lolololol ...........Anyway.......I decide, you know what ...lets go for a walk......Samarra.........I already did that today, I want to stay with mimi and you can take the baby...........OK...........All is happy... kids are fed.....smiles.........

I leave for a walk which we say doggies and butterflies........I get home, get Samarra

AAAAANNNNNNDDDDD

IT BEGAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Samarra starts screaming and crying and grabbing her pillow and shrieking and kicking and very agressive if you got near.........Why you ask??????? CAUSE SHE DIDNT GET TO GO ON THE WALK WITH US..................WHAT THE???????????????

She says I dint know what i was thinking and I missed out on the best fun of my life, as I am sweating and lookin a hot mess......I told her she would have just been hot cause I was power walking it......... BURN BABY BURN.........fat that is lolol

She still didn't let up....... OH well i give.........I walk away...... she keeps this up for like 15 min........

THEN........we have to get stuff ready for school.......... She starts some we havent done that for days.. I am not doing it.... I always play my game right now........SCREeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaCH did she just say out right.. I am not doing it???

OK, Darla stay calm, don't let your hand move................. lolol I said calmly.. We didnt do it because you didnt have to go to school, tomorrow you do so we will get ready........NO, I play my game right now and in 10 min I watch tv...

BREATH BREATH......... ok no game, and no tv at all.. how is that.. get up and get ready............And it starts over again..... this time i took her by the arm to her room and shut the door.............Baby opens door.........Samarra slams door......I go get baby away from her and leave her there.......... She comes out in about oh........10 min and is fine.... 

It all is so dumb........I mean really.. doesn't it even sound dumb..........SHE KNOWS it will get her nothing........I guess it just needs to come out or something.......... BLAH

THEN......she has nothing to do now so guess what........ I get to have her follow me around all night.......NO WONDER I DIDN'T USE THE GROUND METHOD BEFORE!!!!!!!!

Then she did something weird which she did the night before............She wanted steak...........She doesn't eat meat but by force and she is fixated on steak for some reason!!!!!!!!!!!!! WEIRD!!!!!!!!

So she started to cry cause she wants steak and it is her favorite thing............UM do you remember me writing about nights were I tried to force her to take like two bites of meat???


PLEASE HELP ME BEFORE I LOOSE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

lol Just kidding, i wont loose it...........I didn't even yell!!!!!!!!!! WOO HOO MOMMA!!!

OK so you get the picture, the night was sucko at times........But i still am blessed...got a house.. food... clothes....and family... friends........ So in the whole scheme... not bad= )

I know i hit the pillow the second kids in bed and I don't think i made it through even 5 min of TV...... And now I am up getting ready for work and ready for another beautiful day!!!!!!

The fair is coming...........Then Fall............Then Halloween............here are some past photos of some of those!!!!!  Enjoy!!

Little cute Lizzie, Samarra, and Elizabeth at my work.

Let's spread smiles today... 1...2....3.... GO!!!

Have an awesome day everyone!!!!!

Aspergers? ODD... Three days off Good? Bad? Pictures to prove= ) Sept. 6, 2011

Hello!!! 

On this Beautiful Tuesday!!!

Man, is this weather awesome or what???? Like I love this time of the year. I wish it would stay like this all the time!!

So this weekend holiday was great and sucky! But i seriously doubt I am the only parent to feel like that..........So who am I to complain... Not really complaining.. I am still smiling, so I am good= )

Samarra just amazes me, you think you know a child........ So this weekend it seemed to be I had her and the cousins in the day and my sister took them for the night... Is that fair??? lolol Well, honestly I don't care cause I did not have to go through the morning drama we do and it was AWESOME!!!!!!!

So..........I am not perfect........YES, my daughter gets on my nerves and I think is slowly trying to drive me insane. I wonder... Do other mothers or can other mothers anticipate things that will happen like i do and dread being around their children in that time??

Ok, so here is one thing .......My sister said she was bringing Elizabeth over and she would pic up McDonalds for the kids.........YAY for me!!! So Debbi calls on her way and asked if Pizza was ok.....BOO FOR MEE!!! lolol............I said it was............BUT I knew it wasnt going to be...........When I said ok, I instantly was trying to get strong......But I was nervous as all heck!

So I thought I would prepare for the moment so I told Samarra just out-right.. She is bringing pizza instead.......Samarra looks at me and says.....No, she is bringing McDonald's cause she said she was.......I then told her she changed her mind.......No, She said McDonalds..... I just stopped.

Pizza got here........Samarra flipped out saying Aunt Debbi LIED..........and why do all adults lie to her so much arms flaring and just screaming and crying and she went to her room by herself and she would not eat the pizza..... Some things flying in room.......... I MADE A MISTAKE........I am not perfect and I know she has problems with change like that ooooorrrrrrrr is it just not her getting her way......... She wouldn't eat the pizza and so I made her a sandwich................SO SUE ME........I am not , I knew I shouldn't have but I did.......... I just didn't want the evening to go bad I guess..... I don't know.......happy kids= happy mommy........

So this is on Friday... lol THREE DAYS TO GO.....

This blog could be a book on my days off, but I don't want to take that time ........I wish I could get on computer on days off to keep updated.....I probably need it worse on those days.

But in the short version is time and counting, I still cant seem to stop saying "minute" and "second" That really makes me mad at me BTW.... Lets see..... Why the HECK does Samarra stick to me like glue...........Kids playing, Samarra following me, I tell her to go play.....she wont....just stays with me........UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.......... GOOOOOOO AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Finally I tell her.. I love you a lot, but if you don't get away from me and go play, i am going to send cousins home..............GO........... She cried, but left me alone and did play for a little bit then LIKE A BIG SUCTION.........She is right back next to me......... sigh... Let's see so probably like 5 more meltdown moments..........words to not be heard by others.........me smiling still= )

I have to admit........on my days off, even on the good days...there are moments that get quite intense at the house that I want to just run out the door and cry.......but ya know somehow i get over it quick and i am right back up again= )

But the best time was on Saturday at Samarra's little birthday BBQ and of course  
OU BABY!!!

She loves attention, and SHE LOVES HER present like the i-Pad, but not that brand..... Made sure it had boo-koos of games and books and stuff....... I love it too, cause she uses it......She loves the math game.......I think Math might be her thing= )

The moral of my blog I think most days is............I am insane, Samarra is a handful........But no matter what is happening or will happen.........My reactions and mood are a every second choice and 99% of the time I choose happy...Let the small stuff roll off and focus on the big picture.........OH and PRAY PRAY PRAY!!! lolol

So I will leave you with a bunch of photos for our days off... No ewy ones= )

Samarra and cousin Kara

Christian, Samarra's baby cousin.

Kaydynce, Samarra's baby cousin.

And again.. GO OU!!

Samarra at Mexican restaurant..

7th Birthday cake!!

OH NO!!!!!!

Looking at self in mirror= )... She actually turned to the side  to look... LOL  Had to make sure the diaper bootay looked ok.  lololol

Have an AWESOME DAY!!!!!!