Aspergers?? ODD Your a doctor, be more efficient!!! WOW!!! Nov. 9, 2011

Good Wednesday!!!

So here is my first thought so far...........I was SOOOOO rattled after the storms, tornado's, earthquakes.........I mean really.........For this control freak.........I was NOT in a good place at all!!!!!!! But then I happen to be pretty strong person to so I held it together, but I swear the inside of my body was NOT the same as what I portrayed!!!!!!! I am pretty sure I was on the verge of a full out anxiety attack.......But I thank GOD for "WALLS" I can build up quickly.....

So some people say building "walls" are not a good thing, but I for one am ALL for them for me! When I feel like I have reached a point where I feel like I am going to loose it, Somehow I just SHUT down........Not to my surroundings, but to my internal feelings and it works most of the time.......YAY!!!

ANYWAY.........

Samarra has been on a super high, super low and a super something and a super mad kick....

So let me explain...........Mimi is out of town and she does NOT like it, she had a meltdown of crying and repeating over and over that she cant go.. and why does she have to go..........She is never coming home...........She is going to die and this is the end..........and how will we survive with out Mimi.........She wants to die now so she can be there when Mimi gets to heaven so she wont be alone............

So it has been up and down all over the place!!!!!!!!! I distract her from Mimi, she is ok, she remembers, she goes into a rage and just CRAZY!

She SCREAMS........I WANT HER HOME NOW!!!!!!!!!!!! She is suppose to be home!!!!!

Throwing things, looking as if she wants to kill me.......... I actually got it on photo this morning, but the photo doesn't show the before and afters GGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRR

So we go to the doctor this morning cause both of our throats feel like mice are scratching at my throat to try and get out .............BLAH!!!

Anyway so Mimi went with us last time we went to the doctor so she starts in and also it was taking too long for her and the doctor got to hear it as well. She says......... "Your a doctor your suppose to be more efficient than to make us wait so long.........My doctor doesn't do this to me."

And then when we are in room alone she is saying things like I want Mimi here! Call her and tell her to come NOW!!!!!!!!... UMMMMMMMMMMMM Mimi is in Missouri, she wouldn't get here even if I did call and I am not going to call.

She looks at me with anger and hits her fist and says I am going to smash your head in.........WHY such anger???

Of course I jump on her quick and then Samarra says......Why do you try to act smart?

I soooo wanted to BEAT her!!!!!!! NO I didn't......So I am not sure but I think I am enabling her since I know she is upset about mom........... Seriously.........AM I NEVER to give her opportunities to be sad or something????

Someone needs to quit writing books on how to help the kids cope with stuff cause it is almost impossible to get it right.........DUH! No asperger child or autistic child is the same.. How is one book going to help more than a couple people lol I NEED A BOOK ON HOW MOMMIES COPE!!!!!! Daddies too, but that part is irrelevant to me= )

Lololol


So sorry the pics are not so awesomely cute, but this is Samarra.

New outfit....  LOVE IT!!!  She is sooooo cute!

Samarra hitting her fist and saying she wants to smash my head in.........  SIGH

Her shutting me out cause I am not smart.

Oh well.. = )............we all have things we deal with...........God apparently thinks I am good enough and skilled enough to handle this wonderful gift he gave me= )
Have an great DAY!!!