Diary of an Asperger's Mom: Aspergers, ODD, Guess the Little House on the Prarie punishment is working better than I thought!! Ma! June 8, 2012

Good Morning FRIDAY!!!

and

PAYDAY!!!

This IS Samarra!!!!!!

I hope all is well with everyone out there!!

OK, I am going to start by saying................. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Can I get a mulligan PLEASE!! I promise I think this doing what is right stuff is getting harder!!!!!!!!! That child of mine can pull an argument out of the most simple thing!!!!!!!!!

Why are we going backwards here! Am I slackin or is she getting smarter?? She has had me fighting over a CUP before I realized i was arguing............We were fighting over a ball and I actually stayed in that one the longest.............I am talking about her coming at me with threats which bshe knows will get me HOTTER than a piece of lit coal with in a second..... I mean WHAT WOULD YOU DO???

Samarra walks up and says..............I am going to pull all. the cups out of the cabinet and break them......... So I am not quick enough apparently I react... OH HECK NO YOUR NOT!!!!!!........ Why not we don't use those.............Me: cause that is silly, and it would be dangerous......... You can clean it up..........Me: It is too hard to clean up glass..........OK, then i will do just one, as she walks to the cabinet........Me: Don't you dare........I am......................Then it clicks.................Me: I am not having this conversation and if you even touch the cabinet I will bust your butt for putting us all in danger!.............. Samarra: runs off , you NEVER let me have fun! And is crying.............

Another, she wants to bounce a ball in the house as hard as she can........... I am going to bounce this ball and watch it go all over the house.......Me: No your not cause it could hit something.............Like what? Me: the TV..............Not even close to it..............Me: still it could hit it............if your dumb and don't know how to throw, um I am in the kitchen............Me: well you could hit the stuff in here.............Um the table is wood and the floor is fine......................Me: you could jit the ceiling fan or the microwave..............The fan is on that side and the microwave is not close to me.........................Me: or the stove................They make it good enough it wont break................. ONLY NOW did i catch on........... Me: that's it!!!!!!!!!!!! I am NOT playing this argue game with you! She smiles and guess what.. throws the ball.............. GRRRRRR

So yup you guessed it......................it is that time................. TIME TO BEGIN THE EXORCIST LOOK!!!!!!!!!   I know my whole insides felt like I was in the movie aliens and i had an alien about to come out of my chest..........heart all racing..........face all red......... ME: Samarra Why did you do that...........To prove to you nothing would break.. I was right and you were wrong...........

OH LAWD JESUS HELP ME AND THIS CHILD!!!!!! lololol

I seriously had no intelligent thought at this moment..............none..........NADA..... zip........ lolol
I did the WRONG THING... but I was so mad, cause she had just won this argument and made me feel kinda small........ I walked away......Later I took her iPod away for two days............She didn't care..

But it was not just those.. it happened a lot, some even where things she was going to do to the baby.....OH and intentionally telling Samarra to do something she knows will make me mad...like when i go to take the trash out she tells the baby, mommy wants you to go out with her.. go.... I SO DON'T WANT her to go cause she will cry when i come back in 2 seconds later.............Or something as simple as.. Siahna mommy is going to give us cookies for dinner............SERIOUSLY???........... like I would do that, and guess what, now that is what Siahna wants.. she is just being MEAN, upsetting her sister and making me mad, and when it happens she sits over there and says.. YES.!!!!.   Like she is thinking mission accomplished....................JUST DEFIANT!!!

Mommy confessional time.........I am not as confident as I was a month ago.........I feel like I loosing control again at times and I think I may need to go back to the therapist to teach me how to grow with Samarra.... She is such a loving child and just sweet as can be at times and she obeys me, she is good in church, stores, other peoples houses mostly........but when she gets bored.........WATCH OUT!   I can not keep her entertained 24/7 and neither can my mom. I am not a big fan of crying, I think it causes wrinkles!!!!!!

I feel a very motivational piece of advice coming...............No matter how bad off I think i may have it, QUITE a few have it so much worse and I hate that.....But, I feel so blessed in what I have. I am not a big fan of "possessions", those are an OCD's nightmare!!! lol But for my family, friends and job, house and clothes and food. Good to take a step back sometimes and look at what you DO have and have accomplished rather than what you don't have or have not accomplished yet= )

OK< now that the motivational part is over, i just thought about fruit loops!!!...........OM Gosh they are so good and I have not had them in YEARS!!! I feel a shopping trip coming on.......... But I did notice that i had gotten quiet this week, not really wanting to talk a lot... Thinking a lot more........And mind racing like an ADHD brain on crack! I do not say that to make fun of it, I serious have more than 5 or more thoughts at a time sometimes and i have to actually stop and refocus it.!!

Why is it, when you want to loose weight, you eat more! Maybe it is just me, but i steady loose weight anyway, but the other day I decided ok, seriously.. lets try it for real and get it off a bit quicker.........I have never eaten so much in a single day of my life!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE HECK IS THAT!!!! So NO MORE TRYING to loose weight.. just do what I do...If i don't i will be big as a house!!!!!!

So the good part of the week!!!... We got to go to the zoo!!!!!! It stopped raining and we had a great time!! Samarra even helped her friend Jessie get up some hills.. She d3cided to use her wheel chair this year...... there was only one thing she didn't get to do and she did NOT have a break down!! We went with Margaret , who works for me and is AWESOME, her two daughters Jessie and Lizzy...

Remember how I said we were trying out the "Little House on the Prairie" punishment, where she has to keep up with a garden.. quite big actually.. lol She has babies growing!!! But she also started watching the show on TV.........LOLOL............So for all of you out there that think i am over protective on what Samarra watches on tv.................HERE is why..............She will pull anything she can from other people or TV shows on how she is suppose to act and copy it................I am now called "Ma" and daddy is "Pa" and our bathroom is the out-house on the inside...lolol She is so funny!

So overall i would say pretty normal.. we did have an ALMOST biting incident when she got excited yesterday before we went to my best friends house............BUT I was QUICK LIKE NINJA!!!! and grabbed her face before it made contact and then grabbed her arms and put them down to her side and i said SAMARRA SAMarra.. calm down.... I know you excited.. calm down calm down... as she is jumping up and down and squealing......... GRRrrrr a hate the squeal! Anyway.. handled and we left. She stayed the night over there, so just mommy and baby last night................Amazing how quiet and calm a house can be............But I missed her anyway lolol I am a sucker for chaos and adrenaline rushes I guess... lol

Well This may be the MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU WILL READ IN THIS POST!!!

Are you ready????

I am going out of town next week for a family reunion!!!!!!!!!! I MAY or may not be able to post on Friday.. I may move it to Thursday, or I may wait till I get back the next Wed. to post so you can hear and see out adventures in a hotel room!!!!!!!!!!!! Not looking forward to planning it all to be up by 5:30 a.m. and still have breakfast and pills ready by 6 a.m...........sigh.. OH WELL= )