Aspergers Mommy

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Well I am a mom of two wonderful kids that I have been blessed with!!! I am not a psychiatrist, or a doctor so anything I say is not the answer to all, it might not even be the right thing for me!! lol I do my best with who and what I have to overcome any challenge with lots and lots of prayer,my mom who is God given just to me for this very reason, my sisters, and friends! I love life, mostly positive........BUT I am insane at times, get to the point of wanting to explode! lol.. I sing kids songs way too much! Did I mention I am OCD when it comes to cleaning. Which believe it or not I think is what keeps me sane. When I clean, I love it. Breakdowns, crying, talking, just all seem to be ok as I clean..Thank God for OCD!!!

Monday, November 28, 2011

Aspergers?? ODD ........ SMOOTH SAILING! Got sad= ( Nov. 28, 2011

Happy Monday after Thanksgiving!!!!

I cant believe it has almost been a week since I was on here!!!!!!

But you know what... It was pretty good actually. Besides all the "NORMAL" things that Samarra has to go through each day and trying to get her to understand that a two year old does not think logically. This past week has been good.

She did have a total breakdown one night. I turned on Christmas music and made hot chocolate, sounds great right??

Well Samarra saw on a TV show where they had hot chocolate with cookies and we did not have cookies and she just went nutso!!!!!!!!! That child threw her hot chocolate across the room!!!!!! WHAT THE???

So your thinking........WHAT A MESS.........AND Your wrong!! I am an OCD cleaner, do you really think I would let her have any drink with out a tight lid??? LOLOLOL
I am not dumb, I come prepared! So after that drama, i made toast into circles and we called them cookies. She said to me.......You do know these are not real cookies right mom??? LOLOL UMMMMMMM YES...

OH Another one....... Samarra says, You are ruining like you tried to ruin me with all the make believe lies you tell her, good thing i am smart enough to know whats real.  LOLOLOLOL

I just told her that kids like to make believe and play with barbies and stuff.......... She says.. I am just saying mom.......

THEN, she says You should keep it to things like Santa.........since he is real, we saw him at the store.........  LOLOLOLOL  Who said I am not good! Someone told her the Santa's at the stores this past Sunday were not the real santa's but the helpers and she did NOT like it!!!!!!  I had to intervene and yes they are right BUT we were lucky enough to actually see the real one!  She looked at them and said "SEE I told you"   LOLOLOLOLOL

I have a lot of pictures for you, but I want to write something that I got upset about. So of all the people you would expect to except Samarra and everything be ok if family........Now, my side of the family is ok with her...........But her daddies side of the family which true, she does not see much, they dont really know how to take her.

She used to be all the rage, watching a 3 year old read and stuff and how smart she was, not she is getting older and YES, I know she does weird things to others, but JUST DEAL WITH IT!

OK, so I have not taught them how to deal with it, so blame me i guess, but still, I wanted to cry watching her go from person to person to try and get them to interact with her in something SHE wanted to do............They acted as if she wasn't there or would just flat out say no. SO she would sit next to them, and true she does not know about personal space bubbles and yes, i did have to get on her a couple times to move away from a few of them, they just looked creeped out by her.

SHE NEEDS ATTENTION!!!!!!!!!! GIVE IT TO HER!!!! I guess that is why I enable her at times, cause her pouting does nothing, her crying does nothing to me unless it is for something real but the disappointment gets to me bad! Yeah ok so she has to learn life has disappointments.........BUT DOES SHE HAVE TO LEARN FROM HER OWN FAMILY?????

Everyone is playing with baby........No one is even acknowledging Samarra, except Nana of course. But I felt bad for her. Have you ever looked at your child who does not show emotions well and see disappointment in their faces. All she wanted to do of course was play a board game which is her thing. She wanted to beat someone at checkers. The kids were playing and she is in the living room with the adults trying to interact. I love her so much.

OK, well the blog worked again and I guess instead of expecting them to do what I would expect, I should explain her needs and help them understand the best way to interact with her. On the other hand I have to help Samarra learn that sometimes adults just want to sit and talk. But the family side is easier... Samarra will be the hard part, so help me out till it happens!

AND THEN if it continues, I will start going to my Sub-Humans house who will except me and my girls with open loving arms and treat Samarra and Siahna equally with no re-guard to her being different! Selfish?? UM NO.

OK, well now that that is said

I have a LOAD of pictures to share of our last few days= )We had a great last week!!!
Have fun!

She was in AAHHHH of the tree! Kept saying.. Lights!, Kissmas comin!, pesants!, Santa come!  lololol

Couldn't be more beautiful to me!

YUP, they were chillin like villains while momma cleaned! AMAZING!

Playing again  and a sneeze!........WOW

Momma lookin a hot mess and Siahna wanting me to take pics while she went potty  lolol

Cat being all lazy in the blanket the girls decided to dump make-up on.........Make-up was all on cat, both girls..........looked like blood spatter all over room.......This was no simple accident as I got told............  lolol  Thank GOD for Mr Clean!

Getting babies in order..........cute= )

Playing at Nanna's

Siahna and cousin Courtney, She was saying her name Cor-teee-nee

Samarra apparently going after someone at church................UM ok.....
Turkey girl............

Have a great day!!!

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

aspergers?? ODD.......It's a MIRACLE!!!!! Nov. 22, 2011

Howdy Tuesday........I am ready!!= )

Two more days!!

It's a MIRACLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last night I got home and I went to get kids from moms house and it was raining and I ssssssssooooooooooooooo did not want to go through the dinner questions and fight with Samarra............

And then the most wonderful thing happened............

Samarra comes up and says.. Is dinner ready? I said not yet honey and I am thinking .. here we go again...........AND THEN IT HAPPENED........ Samarra says, "Ok, I will just wait for you to make it"

WHAT??? It was like angels came down from heaven all singing loudly in harmony HALLELUJAH!!!! I looked at her weird and she said......What?? your the mom, you make it..... lololol Yes, that is right I am mom, I am queen......I got all superior feeling all of a sudden like.... lolol

So the night continued on with no issues, the only thing I can think of.........Mom had her all day and I have said it before and I will say it again......My mother is a God send to me and my girls!!!!! My mom is so wonderful and understanding that she knows major change upsets Samarra and when she is there they have mini school and do work sheets and crafts and things to get energy out and they play games.......She is wonderful!

I think their day went so well that it just kept rolling into my night!! Thank you mom!!!

The only thing i noticed, if it could be more than usual.. My mom just showers her with attention, positive and correcting when she does wrong that we had a few moments last night where she had some panic attacks of me not being in the room with her. Like screaming for me like i just up and left her forever....... Which by the way I will say again, this child has NEVER been left alone ever! I have no idea what it is about....But seriously my house is so small we really cant be too far away from each other..

But you know there was no screaming.......I just think. maybe a long term miracle has happened and maybe she will keep this up.........HEY...........Think positive!!!!!!!!

So the night ended and Samarra fights with herself.........She goes to bed at 8:30 but she is not in school and she saw on TV where the kids wanted to stay up all night. So she decided she wanted to as well... I told her sure.. go for it! lolol
So all night she stressed about not going to bed at 8:30 but then tried to psych herself up to stay up all night.....

Well 8:30 hit, baby in bed.....a pallet on floor for Samarra's all nighter..........and here is what happened....
Yup, passed smooth out!!!  lolol 
Siahna out cold as well..This is a pic of the monitor.. um obviously  lolol = )
Have an awesome day!!!

Monday, November 21, 2011

Aspergerts?? ODD..... AWWW my Indian princess killed my back! Nov. 21, 2011

Happy Monday!!!


YES, I know I have been slackin and trust me I FEEL IT!! You know how the holidays go... dinners, plays to attend, school stuff and then you have all my normal stuff.. Samarras hair, laundry, feed the kids, play with kids, and the most important thing........ OCD!!!!!!!!! lololol JK, my kids are more important than my OCD by at least a half a point lololol

Anyway. You bothers to why I am not writing.. Here I am!!! I love ya!

Samarra's play was awesome! IT WAS SOOO CUTE!! I am somehow going to try and get a video on here of one of Samarra's parts in the play........I WAS SO PROUD!!!
We worked our tail feathers off... lolol Me explaining emotions and although she did not see the point in it, cause the story gets told either way, she did it and did it well!!!!!! She says I will do it because the punctuation requires it, not because I feel it...  lolololol

I love the end when she says America it kinda just drops off in tone and the place laughed they thought it was cute... lol OH and I seriously thought her and the boy with her that grabbed the mic was going to scrap they way they looked at each other lololol

Ok, I am a bad mother, NO I don't really want them to scrap, but I woulda loved to see it.... lololol OK seriously, that is not funny.........I have issues..........

So the weekend went really well actually.........I kinda was dumb at Samarra's play and then I became the MOMMY MOUNTAIN this weekend and the girls clobbered me and I hurt my back again!!!!!! I am so old.. my back should not hurt this bad...... So since my back was hurting I sat down more than usual, BUT of course a hurt back can not turn off OCD, so now I hurt WORSE!!!!!!!

But me not being so active, Samarra was a lot happier this weekend. A couple times I had to real her back in from going to the "Breakdown Zone", and of course i had a few conversations about death and dying.......Some issues with food not being ready on time...

AND A LOT OF correcting me.......I think I said it before, and I will say it again.....Should you HAVE to have a dictionary present to speak to a 7 year old??? AND.....How does she know the words to begin with???

I love my babies, and my house may not be perfect... UMMMMMM  Ok, it is..... But still not up to my norm= ) We had a great weekend and I THANK GOD for the times that we can have with out screaming and things being thrown and trying to hurt people and just looking outright mad at the world!

OMGosh I almost cried writing that!!!!!!!!! It is so hard to describe to others in this blog or in real life just how hard it is to manage my house and Samarra at the same time and yup, even me, I want to just drop sometimes and I dont want to smile...... I love her dearly and I know GOD made her the way she is supposed to be and one day I honestly believe she will do BIG, GREAT, WONDERFUL things..I just cant believe God thinks I am the right one for this!!!.. But I have to tell ya, its HARD and those moment that are good to others are AMAZINGLY AWESOME TO ME!!!!!!!!

So in this Thanksgiving week. Be thankful for what you have.. Even I have it GREAT compared to what some parents are dealing with!!!!

Here are some of my picture memories of the last three days= )
Samarra's play at Harvest Life School ... awww
OK, it is fuzszy.. but they walked arm in arm and it was sooooo cute!!

Ummm  Samarra and I.. lol
Grand parents at Samarra's play.
Siahna ........she is so goofy cute  lol

Me relaxing for like 5 min during nap time.....Samarra fell asleep too!!!

Girls being goofy on pillow and blanket mountian

Remember I told you a while ago, when pillows and blankets get put in a pile like this and stay for even a minute, the weight of them as if by magic quadruples and the kids in no way can pick them up and put them up in fear of hurting them selves......... It is crazy how that always happens........ lololol  What an OCD nightmare!

Rare picture of my girls playing = )

Have a GREAT DAY!!!

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Aspergers ?? ODD Frozen waffles really??? Who does that?? Nov. 16, 2011

Happy Happy Wednesday!!

Wait did I say that?? lolol

I HATE having a good dream and the alarm goes off.....Ok, it was more strange, but at least no one was dying in it. I dreamed I had endless funds to go shopping with!!!!!

And then I woke up and remembered I am PO! lolol But I am thankful for what I have =)

So we had to go through the whole routine of Samarra running up to me when I got home........Every day I think when I am on my way over there, will she say Hi mom, I love you and missed you today???????? And so far it hasn't happened but I stay hopeful...Once again she runs up.........Is dinner ready........

OK, here is a thing......She is way smart, we know this trust me I am reminded by her often........lololol WHY then does she continue to ask me if dinner is ready when she knows I get home, put stuff down and get them???

I mean is not part of her aspergers to be in a routine? She should know it is not ready!!!!!!!! Why is she picking her own routine and not the one she lives in??? LOLOL So she asks if dinner is ready, I say no and she is off like a derby horse with backpack in hand saying I will make it..........Siahna is saying up up up for me to get her and I am trying to yell out the door DON'T YOU TOUCH NOTHING!!!

By the time I get home she is already eating a frozen waffle!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean really WHO DOES THAT???? BLAH!!!!! They are not even that good cooked, unless they are homemade by my grandfather YUM, We used to sit around the table and he would make them one at a time, and I remember just waiting my turn and it was sooooooooo yummy! But he is not with us anymore so ...........

Ok, back on track..............BLAH...........So I tell her to stop, she doesn't, I tell her TAKE ANOTHER bite and give the MAD mom face, I really was mad.. maybe a bit more frustrated, but she did look a me and see I was serious and says but I am starving!!!!! I need to eat...........I let her know I will make something now.....and to put it down!

She puts it down YAY!!! And runs off crying saying she is withering away....Boooooo. OH LAWD girl drama! I am going to have to ask mom, but I do not think i was so dramatic..........hummmmm lolol

Now that I think about it, I don't think the food is the routine........I think the whole situation is her routine......HEY, that isn't fair.....

OH I GOT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YAY ME!!!!!! I will break the routine tomorrow, cause tonight mom feeds her to go to her class. When I get home and she runs off grabbing a frozen waffle........I will just let her eat it for dinner and not make her dinner that I make for Siahna!!!!!!!!!!!!.......I bet she doesn't do it again!!

OMGosh I am so proud of me right now, of course it took me what 2 years to think of it!!!!! lololol Go momma Go momma! Watch it wont work, but I am excited to try..........of course there will be screaming and I might even get to hear her say that she wants to do me bodily harm, but........maybe I will break the routine!!!
OK, why am I so excited about messin her world up? is that bad? Oh well I am excited!!!!! lololol

Speaking of bodily harm.... Siahna is learning to use big potty and randomly just wants to go. lolol Samarra of course followed us in there and decided she would play baby and say she had to go to in this most annoying baby voice..........Like nails across a chalk board irritating lol Well I don't get the baby off and she starts getting mad and she turns on us like a 180 and says I need to go and i am going to rip your head off if you don't.........I am like WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY........and she looks at me and says......What??? Really??

So here is the thing you can read all the books you want or ask therapist about this stuff.........But I am picking my battles these days and yea some of them I should pick but dont for the sake of my sanity and the house hold not becoming a war zone........I looked at her and just said.......DO IT!.........find out what happens........

She looks at me confused and says.. what will happen.....I just say.... do it and find out... She says will I go to jail? I just said you wont like it, but go ahead and try it.....

She says no I don't want to............and I couldn't let it go cause she did the same thing the day before as well..... I said NO REALLY try wont be able to do it, but just try and find out what happens. We are working on actions and consequence, so go ahead and find out what this consequence will be....

She says........No I don't want to, and I am not going to say it anymore lolol She could tell I was VERY serious. Don't make idle threats. Which I know that is what they are just to get me to react!!!!

Freaking controlling is what she is trying to be!

Otherwise a nice couple nights really..........I do remember once her totally having a meltdown, but I ignore them and for the life of me cant remember why..........HUM.........Nope doesn't come to me.... Oh well, maybe I have built an immunity to it..

So I am excited, I am going to the Thanksgiving feat at Samarra's school where she will be in a play! YAY.... I will take pictures....

I did not take any pictures the last couple days.. Boooo but I wished I could...I was cleaning kitchen last night and I heard the girls playing and Siahna laughing and Samarra laughing, and I just stood to watch them cause it doesn't happen often with Samarra.........All the laughter was about the word Poo-Poo lololol ......BUT they were playing , but if I took a picture they would have stopped so I just wanted them to bond some.... I will put some oldies for ya = )
Lookin cute cute in Papa's hat= ) Christmas 2009

WOW Thanksgiving 2009   AWWW  Love that hair! But I will NEVER leave it down again, it actually is about down to her lower back in this shot.. too curly!!  Took me FIVE hours to get tangles out after this!!!

My round faced babies= )


Samarra playing in the sink.....

Have a Wonderful Day!!!!

Monday, November 14, 2011

Aspergers?? ODD.........It was great, but I had to be lazy to get peace!!! Nov. 14, 2011

Happy Happy Monday!!!

And yes, I mean it this week.. I am in a great mood!!! How could I not be... Had a good weekend.. mom came home..The end...lololol

I think after the crazy week me and the girls were ready for a good weekend. Amazing how much impact my mother has on Samarra and me too= )

The only issues we had this weekend it with the ODD = Oppositional Defiant Disorder for those who may not even know what ODD is........If you tell Samarra to do something, or not to do something, she does it 75% of the time until you get right on her........, but if you tell her NOT to do something she ALWAYS attempts to do it again, or she will throw a spin on it somehow and say things like I didn't throw the book, I threw the ball.......You didn't say don't throw the ball...........UGGGGGGGGGG................Mental NOTE to self..........When telling her not to do something either name everything in the world or explain it means everything in the world....  lololol

Or something else, I ask Samarra could you turn the TV up a little so Siahna can hear the babies...She then jumps up and turns it up to like 40!!!!!!!! Then the baby cries and Samarra laughs.....Or I ask her to pick up her cup and put it in the sink, she picks it up and throws it across the room hoping it goes in sink......

So it was annoying things like that that we got to deal with this weekend, so really not bad= )

It was so funny though...........Ya know I try to tell people, but they don't listen and get there feelings hurt or get upset, or mad........WHY DON'T PEOPLE BELIEVE ME????

So Samarra's daddy took her bowling this weekend........I told him like a week ago when he said they were going.......She will complain while she is there, she will try to drain you of all your money to eat and play video games and she will say she is bored........He says.. No she wont cause we will have fun= ) OH and the more you give the more she wants!!!!!! She can not be satisfied. However that is not completely true....... I know the weekend went smoother cause she did go.......So plus for all of us really= )

He comes home all mad, talking about how she said she was saying she was bored and when they got done asked to go somewhere else and saying how she never gets to do anything fun............LOLOLOLOL OK, SAD yes, but I told him= ) THIS IS WHY .......NO one really likes to take her anywhere or watch her.......

People, grown-ups apparently still need satisfaction that they did a good job of letting kids have fun....... lolol I understand, but get over it when it comes to her= ) Not going to happen, not yet anyway.....She is 7, kids are like that to a point anyway, hers is just magnified... Give her a few more years= ) But like I said, she remembers it as special for some reason, so do it for her and quit thinking about your self need.........I do it...

The only thing you can do is ignore it and tell her we just wont go anywhere anymore and she gets upset and its over.. Then she will tell stories about all she did and how fun it is like she creates a whole new scene lolol

So this weekend, the girls and I went to Cici's pizza, then a dollar store for a couple toys.. a car, and a Thomas train and went home on Friday... We played alot of games and play-doh, moon doh, glow sticks, hide and seek, wii, x-box connex, went to church, walmart, cleaned, laundry, NAP thank the Lord!!

And we had a great time for most of it.......BUT let me remind you once again......The more you give, the more she wants.. every time i started to leave the room or get up..........Samarra would say.. sit down.....when i left the room she was right there, are you going to come sit back down.........Sometimes she would say sit down if i even moved a little on the couch or bed....... DANG.. cant i even blink???

But it was good, but I feel lazy kind of... I guess my peace comes with a dirty house........NOT REALLY........Did you really think I could let it be dirty... lolol I just did most of it like in speed mode.... I even broke a sweat!

Here a few picks of us playing= )
I love her fat cheeks!!!!
See I got play-doh and it looks even better when i shake it!  lol

Both girls with glow sticks playin, ok, I played too.. It was fun!!!!= )

Siahna with her glow stick= )

Our Moon-doh and Play-doh barn.....Awesomeness!!!

Samarra making animals with moon-doh= )

She is so cute= )

Have a GREAT DAY!!!!!!

Friday, November 11, 2011

Aspergers?? ODD...Mommy is back!!!!

Happy Friday!!

Happy Veteran's Day!!!

Thank you to all who serve our country!!

OMGosh...........My MOMMY is back!!!!!!!!! I realized something....Not only did Samarra change when my mother left, I did too... I have felt a bit empty and kind of blue since she left..Like I want to just be around her all weekend!! Which I am sure she does not want. lololol So I will be a pest to her like Samarra is to me at times lolololol Wait does that mean she is like me again??????????

OH GREAT!!!! Before I get done with this blog i will have diagnosed myself with Aspergers and ODD.......LOLOLOLOL

So Samarra has lost all anger last night....She started crying last night saying she was so glad Mimi was home............Kind of sweet, but then again, I wished she could handle her emotions better.......We will get there= )

She is off to the Science Museum today and this will be her FIRST time to go anywhere with out a family member there. She is acting a bit nervous trying to think of all the people who could go.. she begged Mimi to go, but mom is real tired from the trip. I think it will be good for her to go with out us. She was repeating over and over... I can do this.. I can do this... I can do this.... AAWWWWWWWW I know she can or I would be stressed= ) But at least she was trying to psych herself up= ) GOOD GIRL...

So with my sick butt and the girls sick butts this week has seemed like a year! I promise i cant sleep enough.... Being real tired does not fit well with an OCD person.....I sit down more and then feel guilty about being lazy.....BLAH.. And I actually went to bed with out picking up some toys..........And yup as I feared....... I got up and stepped on it this morning, cause I have this few moments where I am walking but not awake running into walls moments  ............lolol

See there is a reason I clean, not just OCD... lolol

Ya know it seems the more I type the weirder I sound...........hum.........I am going to quit typing now and finish getting ready= ) So I can pretend to be normal...lololol

I had some awesome opportunities to take pics last night, but I was in the middle of it and cant take pics of us while we are playing lol so here are some cute ones just because= )
Before I straitened Samarra's hair one time= )

After I straitened her hair......WOW!!!!

Cool kid.... cool cat= )

Have a GREAT DAY and weekend!!!
OK I thought just then........ "May the force be with you".........OMGosh I need help!

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Aspergers?? ODD Your a doctor, be more efficient!!! WOW!!! Nov. 9, 2011

Good Wednesday!!!

So here is my first thought so far...........I was SOOOOO rattled after the storms, tornado's, earthquakes.........I mean really.........For this control freak.........I was NOT in a good place at all!!!!!!! But then I happen to be pretty strong person to so I held it together, but I swear the inside of my body was NOT the same as what I portrayed!!!!!!! I am pretty sure I was on the verge of a full out anxiety attack.......But I thank GOD for "WALLS" I can build up quickly.....

So some people say building "walls" are not a good thing, but I for one am ALL for them for me! When I feel like I have reached a point where I feel like I am going to loose it, Somehow I just SHUT down........Not to my surroundings, but to my internal feelings and it works most of the time.......YAY!!!


Samarra has been on a super high, super low and a super something and a super mad kick....

So let me explain...........Mimi is out of town and she does NOT like it, she had a meltdown of crying and repeating over and over that she cant go.. and why does she have to go..........She is never coming home...........She is going to die and this is the end..........and how will we survive with out Mimi.........She wants to die now so she can be there when Mimi gets to heaven so she wont be alone............

So it has been up and down all over the place!!!!!!!!! I distract her from Mimi, she is ok, she remembers, she goes into a rage and just CRAZY!

She SCREAMS........I WANT HER HOME NOW!!!!!!!!!!!! She is suppose to be home!!!!!

Throwing things, looking as if she wants to kill me.......... I actually got it on photo this morning, but the photo doesn't show the before and afters GGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRR

So we go to the doctor this morning cause both of our throats feel like mice are scratching at my throat to try and get out .............BLAH!!!

Anyway so Mimi went with us last time we went to the doctor so she starts in and also it was taking too long for her and the doctor got to hear it as well. She says......... "Your a doctor your suppose to be more efficient than to make us wait so long.........My doctor doesn't do this to me."

And then when we are in room alone she is saying things like I want Mimi here! Call her and tell her to come NOW!!!!!!!!... UMMMMMMMMMMMM Mimi is in Missouri, she wouldn't get here even if I did call and I am not going to call.

She looks at me with anger and hits her fist and says I am going to smash your head in.........WHY such anger???

Of course I jump on her quick and then Samarra says......Why do you try to act smart?

I soooo wanted to BEAT her!!!!!!! NO I didn't......So I am not sure but I think I am enabling her since I know she is upset about mom........... Seriously.........AM I NEVER to give her opportunities to be sad or something????

Someone needs to quit writing books on how to help the kids cope with stuff cause it is almost impossible to get it right.........DUH! No asperger child or autistic child is the same.. How is one book going to help more than a couple people lol I NEED A BOOK ON HOW MOMMIES COPE!!!!!! Daddies too, but that part is irrelevant to me= )


So sorry the pics are not so awesomely cute, but this is Samarra.
New outfit....  LOVE IT!!!  She is sooooo cute!

Samarra hitting her fist and saying she wants to smash my head in.........  SIGH

Her shutting me out cause I am not smart.
Oh well.. = )............we all have things we deal with...........God apparently thinks I am good enough and skilled enough to handle this wonderful gift he gave me= )
Have an great DAY!!!

Monday, November 7, 2011

Aspergers??ODD Too much estrogen in my house!!! Nov.7, 2011

MONDAY............ enough said  lolol

Does it sometimes aggravate you when people say HAPPY MONDAY!!  I know I say it, but I think this sets peoples emotions off .. they get mad  lolol  I am going to see how many people I can make mad by being very upbeat and happy this morning.   lololol People love to drag you down with them... but it is so hard to bring them up!!! my mission today... I will let you know if I fail and get cranky  lolol

So this weekend was crazy!!!!!

I had my sisters daughter there all weekend and this is a good thing and a bad thing.....Understand I am not complaining, but with an extra person comes different emotions in Samarra and Siahna.

Siahna loves it, she has a little playmate that will actually play with her. However Elizabeth is used to being the little one around her house and having her older sister do what older sisters do so I had to get on Elizabeth quite a few times and tell her NOT to yell at the baby and if she doesn't want the baby getting her drink, then don't leave it down and that the baby does not understand separating barbies and not to touch things lolol This is the ok, part, Siahna loved it!!!

Samarra on the other hand tolerates it for a while here and there, but like usual I have to tell her to get away from me more... She just doesn't play, but it messes up her CHI and says things like well I usually do this and I cant cause they are doing this...... She tries to get Elizabeth to play what she wants to play and Elizabeth doesn't want to so then they argue and Samarra gets mad and gets aggressive about it! Then she gets in trouble and does not understand why..

She will say like Why am I in trouble??? I didn't do anything, Elizabeth wouldn't play what I want. OH WELL THEN ITS OK... lolol um no.....She wants it HER way and there is no other way......

She said once.. why cant these kids understand me..........lolol And that is why she wants to be around me, cause they are babies.... Elizabeth is only 6 months younger than Samarra...........

LAWD have MERCY!!!..........I swear if I hear another fight........I think the hormone estrogen is a fighting hormone... The level in my house this weekend was TOOOOO MUCH!!!!!

Samarra prefers to be around Kara, she is 12..........But Kara doesn't want to be around Samarra cause she is so young....... and Samarra does irritate Kara a lot.= (

We even went to her Nana and Grampa's house for a cook out this weekend on Saturday and all the cousins were playing with lots of stuff and having fun and samarra is sitting at the table with the grown folk.......I kept sending her back to play, but she would get upset and start to cry and would be back with in a couple minutes.......


UGGGG See I try to think of all these things she can do to learn more social skills , but she just has NO interest at all........She does well in a one on one setting and the other person has to do what she wants......

Simple??? UM NO!

I have thought about having some of the kids from school over, but I am scared the kid will say HECK NO!!!! And I can only have them come to me, not her go to them..........OK, I must stop now, i want to cry..........And my mission is to make others happy today= ) Oh wait , I don't feel like crying anymore, i just remembered the times this weekend that Samarra looked at me like I was going die cause she didn't get what she wanted!! Like I said before.. Plastic knives in my house= )

So I am going to stop worrying about this and I will figure it out later..........LAZY ME......

Here a couple pics of Siahna and her cousin Destiny... I forced Samarra to get in one as well. lol

Here is another pic of Samarra on that same chair when she was younger= )  SUPER STAAAAAAAA!!!

Have a GREAT MONDAY!!!!!!

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Aspergers??ODD Why do i get sucked into arguing? Nov.3, 2011

Happy Happy Thursday.. Happy Happy Thursday!!

I thought I would do the song and dance this morning..lolol Since I hadn't done it in a while lolol Of course you know it was a dance in my head.. I am still sore from Samarra two nights ago!!!!!!! lolol

OK, I want to know.........WHO PRAYED FOR WINTER TO COME???????? That was like crazy wind last night.. My hair stood strait up at times! And I had goose bumps the size of Mars! Makes me wonder just how cold it is going to get this year!!! I think it is time to hibernate!

OMGosh this is funny........During Samarras prayer last night she says.......And Jesus, help the congreshman get my letter I sent and make it a new "BILL" that we only have two work days and 5 off days. That would really help me out thank you....

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL Yes, I know I spelled congressman wrong, that is how she said it.
I have heard kids ask for toys, snacks, to get to go somewhere, but not something about the congreshman passing a bill..... lolol   SOOOO Adorable!

OK, So i consider myself to be a pretty intelligent person... I just like to be weird and act crazy at times.......So PLEASE tell me why a 7 year old can drag me into the STUPIDEST arguing battles!!!!! And I don't even realize it until i have participated for a while!!!!!!


So Since two days ago, the nights have been pretty good... Last night she went to Awana group with her friend J.R. and us mommas went to eat with the babies= ) Anyway.. Samarra still managed to get in a full on debate/argument with me on of all things.........

Why technically it is ok to lie at times......... WHAT????????? That is not even fun to talk about.........UGGGGGGGGG So of course she hears all and she brought up the fact that people say things to make sure they dont hurt others feelings by not telling the truth..........

I tried to explain filters to her and I told her... That is why mommie says what she thinks more than others , but i also use filters or I don't speak and This little GEEK CHILD OF MINE... Which I dot mean in a bad way.. had me caught up in this whole debate over lying and almost convinced me I was a liar!!!!!

I was getting all flustered..............THEN it hit me..........WHAT THE HECK AM I DOING!!!!!

So I was like OK, listen little miss high IQ and trying to control me and confuse me..... I don't care what others better not lie or your gonna get your bootay wooped.........And if there is something that may hurt someones feelings then just be quiet...........if they ask your opinion and you tell them the truth and they don't want to be your friend.. then they weren't your friend in the first place........ And I REFUSE to discuss this anymore.....

SHE SAYS................

I wondered how long it would take you to cut me off!!!!!!!!!!!! And LAUGHS!!!!!!!

GGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR...........You do have to admit though it is kind of cute in a way.......But it also PROVES she knows what lying is and that she does it on purpose!

My little genius............Sigh.....She is going to kill me.... I do HATE when she corrects me on things though.. I will say things to Siahna if I need her to like getout of the kitchen so I can move around and make dinner like... Siahna go look out the window and see if you can see an elephant..........You know I used something Siahna is interested in right now and it was a way to distract her for a moment......Then of course Samarra has to start in, There are no elephants out there....they don't live in cities except in the zoo. Some may in Africa or China, but not here so why did you tell her that....... UUGGGGGGG lolol I cant do NOTHING!

Another CUTE CUTE thing.........AAAAAAAAWWWWWWWW Siahna goes to school on Tuesday and Thursday to mothers day out at Meadowood Baptist Church in Midwest City and they REALLY do a great job with teaching and having a lesson plan....So Tuesday they learned about the letter "B" and we were in the car last night and she found her paper she had made in the car and picked it up and says.... Elephant.............LOLOLOLOLOL

She LOVES elephants so every night we get to discuss was so cute!

Well on to another day.......And we will see what the night has in store.......

Some pics of Samarra at her school Harvest Life in Midwest City.. one of her class on history report day and one at the punkin patch. 

My Beautiful Pocahontas

Samarra at the Pumpkin patch with her school
It is TOOOO COLD!!!!!

Have a GREAT DAY!!!!!!

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Aspergers???ODD... Like I said DONT skip the medicine !!! Nov. 2, 2011

Happy Wednesday!!

So I was lazy....  YUP.. me, I KNOW weird huh.....I had a prescription for Samarra to get filled and it came down to only having one pill for Samarra to take............I thought, well at least she is getting one and I will get the rest today........NOW, I absolutely hate she takes medicine anyway, I put it off for a LONG time and then I gave in and tried it and was AMAZED at how much it helped her. Which in turn helps me, but I was thinking of her for realz!


I was going to call the teacher and let her know, but I figured I would let it go and just see how things go.............WELL.........NOT SO WELL.. OOPS MY BAD..

Lets see............. How is a report of Samarra had a great day today in her daily notes everyday change to...............Samarra was aggressive and uncooperative and kept lying all day. She lied 10 times I can count and she lost all recesses and will be doing 25 sentences for every lie she told. She obviously put her cell phone number on the note for me to call her...........AND I DID..

The WEIRD thing is.........She tells things that don't get her anything like you kinda expect kids to try... She just tells elaborate stories that are SCARY to think of......... I am so scared she will say something that is not true and I ruin someones life from believing her, or the opposite, something does happen and I blow her off........


So she told the teacher she walked to school and the teacher of course didn't think it was true, but she goes on to tell her that when she was walking down the track on 15th by the gold course that a man came up and talked to her... The teacher says.. well what did he say.. She says.. Oh nothing really just asked where I was going and stuff.. Samarra don't you mean your mom dropped you off and you walked up the path... She says.. No my mom couldn't today so she trusted me to get here??????????? Seriously???? I am such a afraidy cat that I don't let her go in the front yard by herself!!! ???(Yes, I know afraidy is not a word, but I am using it anyway...lololol) Samarra has her teacher going so much that the teacher called my mom.

#2 Was about a Halloween event she went to.. which she did not go. We went to a church Fall festival.

#3 How I just let her do whatever she wants and she has to make her own dinner and watch the baby......... YEA right, UM HELLO....OCD!!!!!!!! Do you really think ever I could even dream of that happening with out fear of my dying of stress overload??????

#4 Telling her friends about when she was born and a person at the school in 4th grade was there and their moms cause we are best friends.....??????? UM, NO!!! and if they were there, do you really think i would just have friends standing around while I try to produce a baby out of my body.........NO........lolololol

I don't remember all of them, but the teacher said she would call her on it and she would get angry of course then when the teacher asks her why she keeps doing it.......Samarra pulled the "OL" Cause I am bad routine.......... YUP, the teacher knows not to fall for that.. I warned her! She tried that on me too and i shut it down quick and then she laughed and said It is fun, to see how they react........ SSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I told you!!!!!

Well she was not laughing once we got home...She came home with sentences and yup guess what..........She will be getting a spanking.......YUP, I know some people just don't agree with that................You can also say this is my fault for not giving her all her medicine from me being lazy.............BUT medicine does NOT make you lie! I have seen her off her meds and she is very hard to control emotionally and physically sometimes, but LYING????????? NO!!!!!!!!!

Do you not see how these kind of lies are going to hurt someone??? But on the good side, i did talk to her about it. I am sure did NO good, I hope so, but she closes off to such things, but maybe it will be in her head somewhere and she will think about it..

So needless to say, the night was a SUCKO night.. for her and me.. But I stayed calm= ) YEA ME!!!

The aftermath is my back hurts from trying to hold on to her a couple times!!!!!!!

After all was done, I was ready to pass out from so much drama.........And so was she... She went right to sleep and she had ALL her meds again....... So I am looking forward to having my regular insane nights back!!!!!!!!!

Now that I think about it, i guess it takes a sucko night to make me remember that the other nights really aren't that bad at all= )

So now on to my day.......Still smiling= )

NO, I did not take pictures of the drama, just was not thinking of pics.. so here are some oldies= )
This is Samarra when she is at the beginning stages of a complete meltdown...I only know it by the look in her eyes...

Yes, panties are for your head.. Somehow when I lay the clothes out for the next day, she has to put them on her head= ) lolol

LOLOL  I need an adult pair!

Have an awesome day!!!!!!