Aspergers Mommy

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Well I am a mom of two wonderful kids that I have been blessed with!!! I am not a psychiatrist, or a doctor so anything I say is not the answer to all, it might not even be the right thing for me!! lol I do my best with who and what I have to overcome any challenge with lots and lots of prayer,my mom who is God given just to me for this very reason, my sisters, and friends! I love life, mostly positive........BUT I am insane at times, get to the point of wanting to explode! lol.. I sing kids songs way too much! Did I mention I am OCD when it comes to cleaning. Which believe it or not I think is what keeps me sane. When I clean, I love it. Breakdowns, crying, talking, just all seem to be ok as I clean..Thank God for OCD!!!

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Aspergers?? ODD...I love you.. I hate you! Rollercoaster, but no wheee!! lol Jan. 10, 2012

Happy Tuesday!!!

Oh blog how I miss thee!!! lolol

So I took a poll and it is not just me, this last week has been a bit of a hell well for most parents with kids off school and trying to get back in the grove. So I guess in that sense........We are completely "normal" YAY!!!

However I am not for sure exactly what others deal with, but not only did I get lax on my duties, Samarra sky rocketed out of control......

So when I started getting myself back in order, SHE DID NOT LIKE IT!!!!!!! I know the consistency is the key here and WHY THE HECK I did not keep it up I don't know!!!!!!!........BAD BAD MOMMY!!!! lolol

We went to therapy for the first time in a few weeks and she got time out 3 time-out's in therapy.........Does that tell you anything?? WHEW She was very uncooperative and doing almost the opposite of what was asked of her..... She had not seen this therapist for a while and come to find out she was mad that the therapist couldn't see her for a while and she said why should I do anything, she is just going to leave anyway.............And then the light bulb went on.......Yet again, she was misdirecting her reaction to an emotion........By the time we left they were best buds again and all was good= )

She decided she was not going to get dressed herself while she was off from school and because I still had to go to work and not be late, I actually dressed her.........WHAT THE??? Why would I do something so dumb!! She struggles to get dressed still with some things and i just took the easy road and got her dressed, so if you can picture my house on this morning......

ME: Well your going to go naked then.
Samarra: You always dress me and your going to today!
Me: Um, no i dont always dress you, it was holiday and i let you get lax, now it is time for school so GET UP and get dressed!
Samarra: You are MEAN and I wish aunt De De was mmy momma!
Me: ME TOO, cause she would be woopin you right now. Now I am going to leave this room cause I refuse to argue with you and when I come back you better be dressed!!!!!!!
Samarra: Throws a shoe across the room saying I am NOT DOING IT!

So I just keep getting ready, heart pounding and so mad, and knowing that this is NOT all her fault. Why did I think for a second that changing something would be ok?? GGGGRRR!!!!

So I am getting dressed and she walks in and says look mommy I buttoned my shirt all by myself.(This is the first time she has with that shirt) And I praised her and told her how proud I was of her and she be bops off saying I will get the rest of my clothes on too, I love you mommy! I say I love you too and thank you.. your a good girl.... Well She couldn't get her shoes on, this is still a huge challenge and so i had her try again............Yes, I caved.... I did it.....Maybe cause I thought we had enough drama today............SIGH..........I am not perfect.... Never will be= )

So already, I have had my emotional roller-coaster ride and I didn't even say wheee!!!  lol NO FUN! But it was very satisfying to see how proud she was she buttoned her shirt... those moments make it better= )

So, I can see where a lot of you may have decided up front that you might have snatched her up and whooped her or punished her right off, maybe I should have, but I didn't and she learned that I was not going to cave even if she did call me names and she got satisfaction of doing something herself, so I say it was a success.

Another thing she picked up and used this past week was how she hates other kids being around her cause she likes to be the ONLY one getting attention like at her aunt De De's house........Yeah I knew that was coming and it is ok, She can hate me......I know she really doesn't.........But BOY!!! can she shoot the daggers out of her eyes!!!!!

She has been trying me HARD!!!! I ask her to do something simple as put something in the trash and the daggers come out and she looks at me and says with absolutely NO EMOTION..........NO..... and walks off........

OMGosh......And then yes, this sweet momma lost it.........Like flames out of the sky shooting down through the top of my head cause I felt like my head was on fire, momma turns into something close to what the devil may be............I got close to her face with hand on arm and said.........(OH and I am pretty sure my voice got deep and scratchy too).........."Say NO to me one more time and I promise you you will find out just what your momma can do to make your life the most boring life you ever had...........TRY IT AGAIN"........... This all happened after she had said no a few times before and i had to do the 1..2...3... finger thing which works but I am not a big fan of cause it doesn't stop it....

She actually was looking at me like i had lost my mind with confusion.....Which I think I did for a second.......And she said yes, Ma'am.... and that was it.... Then she says to me.......You really didn't need to be so dramatic about all that......

WHAT??????? Did she just call ME dramatic misses drama queen!!!!!!!!! WOW!!!!

WOW, Guess i need to loose it more often= )

Anyway.. We have had some awesome great times too, don't get me ALL who have kids who struggle with something, not ALL the time is filled with complete chaos..... Lots of crying, lots of laughter, lots of goofy and yes, chaos....

But I guess as long as it is all mixed up and i get a second in the middle we are good= )

OH here is a tip completely unrelated to Samarra..........Remember this!!!!! DON'T GO TO THE MALL AND TO VICTORIA SECRETS when they are having there twice a year sale!!!!!!!!! Seriously out of all the stuff i deal with at home, this gave me a headache!!!!!!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO lolol

I haven't taken photos but one after we left the mall... The kids crashed hard!!!! I wished it was me!

I was going through photos and here are a couple I saw yesterday that i just LOVE LOVE!!!
Have an awesome day!! Oh and SMILE, why not???

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