Aspergers Mommy

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Well I am a mom of two wonderful kids that I have been blessed with!!! I am not a psychiatrist, or a doctor so anything I say is not the answer to all, it might not even be the right thing for me!! lol I do my best with who and what I have to overcome any challenge with lots and lots of prayer,my mom who is God given just to me for this very reason, my sisters, and friends! I love life, mostly positive........BUT I am insane at times, get to the point of wanting to explode! lol.. I sing kids songs way too much! Did I mention I am OCD when it comes to cleaning. Which believe it or not I think is what keeps me sane. When I clean, I love it. Breakdowns, crying, talking, just all seem to be ok as I clean..Thank God for OCD!!!

Friday, April 6, 2012

Aspergers..ODD... Emotion OVERLOAD!!! April 6, 2012

And yet again....

It's FRIDAY!!!!
WOO HOO!!!! 

This week has seem to flown by me, which is a good thing, but at the same time that means I am a week older!! BOOOOOOO.... 

 However, I did learn something this week I did not know.... An article on about those crazy huge mosquito looking bugs that I have always called mosquito eaters......... DID YOU KNOW......... that the larvae are kind of big and brown and they like to eat rotting things, but when they get to the older stage when they are flying around they do not eat ANYTHING, no not even mosquitoes!!!!!!! However they do MATE A LOT!!! LOLOL Their only goal is to produce more and be food for birds....... I am not sure but it seems with no nutrition, that would be a hard life!!!!!!!!! LOLOL Just sayin...... lolol

 So when I say emotion OVERLOAD.. that also come with confusion and just complete loss of what to do..... So I told you Samarra had her science fair right and was so nervous she was sick and wouldnt eat and just looked bad! So she went to school and judging was not until 1:30 p.m. that afternoon......

 GUESS WHAT!!!! She won third place.. AND!!!!! This is going up against the big kids!!!!!!!!

And so here goes the story........I have to say I am still just confused a bit, but me trying to be a psychologist, i think i figured it out... YAY momma, i need some special letters after my name now too.. LIKE.... Darla Lindauer GME (G=Greatest M= Mommy E= Ever) But I think my mommy should have that first lolol

OK, so I get home normal time, and OF COURSE Samarra runs up to me.. still no HI, I missed you, or anything... Always Whats for dinner... is it ready........ And as usual I tell her again.. honey. i just got home, no it is not ready.... lol so little drama and we get home...

We are home and I say to the girls.. Mommy bought you a surprise...... That seems like a nice thing to say right???


Samarra turned into a different person, it was like a light switch... sitting there almost calm about dinner not being ready and I told them about the surprise i brought and Samarra JUMPED up! Started crying and was mad!!!!!!!!!!!! She is now yelling i want to know what it is!!!!!!! I am in shock at this point... I said honey I said it was a surprise, I am getting ready to get it out now.. She snaps back with i want to know she is on the couch now kicking and screaming and covering her face and rocking back and forth just BAWLIN........

Me..........I am just standing there looking at her, (You ever have one of those moments where you think you might have went brain dead????)  I said honey why are you crying???? She through all the tears and crying says.. you said you brought a surprise but you wont tell me what it is........ Me again...I am so lost at this point, I don't know what to do...........Is there a consequence needed here, is there not???

OH LAWD please help me, I am the momma and I am suppose to handle this right!!!...

She is getting louder so finally I said Samarra! You are about to not get your surprise if you don't calm down! And she yells out I CANT STOP don't you get it!! I am like well you are getting older and you need to learn to calm down.. she continues for a bit then she starts taking deep breaths and I just told her.. let me know when your ready....... About maybe 10 min later she says.. I am ready and i got the surprise out...... I had got both of them a bubble blower thing and she says.. OMGosh mom can I say I love you so much right now!! and they had a blast while i got dinner ready........

So I am sorry to use such a word, but there is nothing else to describe that but IT SUCKED!!! 

But, like I said I figured it out and because she fell asleep by like 7:30 that night, and she cried a few more times randomly, that emotionally she was just exhausted... worrying about science contest just did her in and she has problems with showing the proper emotion anyway that when i told her I had a surprise she got too excited and it was just an overload and she couldn't handle it.... WHEW.. talk about overload, I was so confused, my brain felt like it just melted out my ears and I couldn't even think!!!!!!

I think it was a BAD BAD mommy decision to move her meds to a different time of day, I think that has caused her to be off all week too.... She has had more anger, even hit her sister a few times on purpose and just not quite her improved self.. Yes, I moved them back already, but I think it is takin time.... AND....Yes there were consequences.. lol I am not slackin over here... So no lectures from any of y'all lololol

On a really fun and positive thing we had a girls day Saturday morning and me and the girls and my mom and Aaron's mom and my sister and her youngest daughter went to a princess breakfast at Meadowood Baptist Church in Midwest City........First of, I have to say this thing was so organized!!!!!!! I LOVE THEM SO MUCH NOW!!!!!!!!! Ya'll know i can not deal with chaos and under planned events.. it to me was PERFECT!!!!!! I think the coordinator and I could be friends lol finally someone besides Jalaine who knows how to put a thing together!!!!!! You just don't know how much this a good thing, cause my OCD has me on my nerves ready to jump up and take over and I sweat and get all shaky and agitated and it makes me angry!!!!!!! lol OK enough about me. lol .......The girls had a blast, the food was good, we had a perfect time, they had the whole banquet hall decorated so cute and it was awesome so I have a bunch of pictures today of that= )

OK, I am going to stop now, I really need to write more, cause like I have so many things to say.. I think I will begin writing again in the week another day, cause my brain really needs it bad!! And I don't really have another outlet cause i feel like others don't want to always hear about it so .. you get to.. but .. you choose to lolol ....So my ranting may begin more often again= )

A CLUE ......A CLUE !!!!

Siahna's School class= )  AWWWWW


Happy Easter weekend!!!
Have an awesome week!!!

1 comment:

  1. Well. THANK you-- and I just want you to know I always say: Autism/Asp SUCKS. SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS. I call it the 'JOY SUCKER'. I can't tell you how many times I would try to do something I thought was fun, nice--or just plain cool and my kid would FREAK out. I have so many stories. He's 19 now and we are still dealing with everything in a topsy-turvy way of normal. good to read someone that's not all sunshine and light about this LOL. I'm tired of the "Mommy Warrior" stuff! xxoo