Aspergers Mommy

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Well I am a mom of two wonderful kids that I have been blessed with!!! I am not a psychiatrist, or a doctor so anything I say is not the answer to all, it might not even be the right thing for me!! lol I do my best with who and what I have to overcome any challenge with lots and lots of prayer,my mom who is God given just to me for this very reason, my sisters, and friends! I love life, mostly positive........BUT I am insane at times, get to the point of wanting to explode! lol.. I sing kids songs way too much! Did I mention I am OCD when it comes to cleaning. Which believe it or not I think is what keeps me sane. When I clean, I love it. Breakdowns, crying, talking, just all seem to be ok as I clean..Thank God for OCD!!!

Friday, August 24, 2012

Aspergers, ODD, We survived school!!! Aug. 24, 2012

Happy Happy Friday.. 
Happy Happy Friday!!

 Remember you have to sing that and do a little dance with it..  the weirder the better!  lolol

 Ok, so I missed a week again..........No excuse is worth it I know.. BUT Samarra started school last Thursday and we were still working on some kinks that day. And boy howdy did we have some KINKS!!!

Honestly, I think I expected a lot worse , but we have moved right into our routine and this past week with the exception of her being tired and getting overwhelmed a bit in the evening, it has went well!!


So last week was LOTS of questions about school which told me she was nervous a bit, but then what kid isn't???  We went to her orientation night on Tuesday, last week and by the time we got home she was already saying she had met her best friends for the rest of her life............See she thinks if anyone even says hi, that they are her best friends..........Cute, but it bothers me cause i know that is not how it works and i was sad cause i don't want her feelings to get hurt.. IF she can.. I am not sure if she would notice it or not????????????  Who knows...

Anyway, I was so stressed out I set up a meeting with the teacher for Wed. last week to just talk.  I really like her new teacher and she sounds like she will be great for Samarra, she is strict, but focuses more on positive reinforcement rather than negative... I told her I was so happy to hear it cause Samarra is attention needy and she WILL get her attention any way she has to !!!!!!!!!  I also told her Samarra will not start something in class, but she WILL copy any behavior she sees the other kids being allowed to do. I told her up front this meeting was NOT for me to inform her about Samarra and what she does wrong.. She is a GOOD girl.. this meeting is for me to calm down!!!!  lol

I did bring up the history of children bullying her and how i don't expect special attention just for her, but that i expect play grounds to be monitored well and the reason i pay money is to keep Samarra progressing in her learning and safety!!!

What I WANTED to say was...........YOU BETTER make sure my baby is not bullied!!!!!!!!!  OMG OMG OMG.. Breathe!!!!!!!  I mean like not to try and make this about me, but  I have never been so mad or upset or had the feeling of wanting to hurt any child before in my life!!!!!!!

Have you seen the show.....................uuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.............dang brain.............................ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm............grrrrrrrrrrrr...........GRIMM...........OMGosh thank you brain for kicking in!!!!  LOLOL

Well i would SOOOOOOOOOOOO love to be a Hexon Beast!!  I go into a meeting with someone and be like.. you will make sure my baby is ok right???  then show off my hexon beast face and all of a sudden everyone is YES WE WILL.. it will be our priority!!!!!!!!!  LOLOLOL

But alas God did not see fit to make me a hexon beast and also they dont exist  lolol so I will just trust in him to protect her.. he is better at it anyway and can see her when I can not!!!!!!!  = )

OK, i have to show you what a hexon beast it.........  LOVE IT!!!!!!!! Sorry mom and dad, i know you thry ti figure out how I came out of you sometimes.. but I did and you have to love me  lololol

On the show they can turn back and forth.. she as the character is quite cute.. so see this would work!  lolol

Soooooooooo We have  new thing I know I mentioned before............get nervous or anxious.... overwhelmed by emotions...............equals VOMIT!!!!!!!!!  lolol

Well, Samarra did real well the first day of school.. YAY!!!  I was very proud of her.. She even had homework already.. I like that.. Get it going from the beginning so she has a better routine..........Second day..........

YUP...........As I mentioned.............something happened, i don't know what, sometimes she doesn't know............but she vomited.. lol Poor baby..........But the school called me and my mom picked her up.. I then reminded them about her and they said they would make sure and see how she is after  next time  lol 
BUT the ladies in the office went on and on and on about how Samarra was so amazing and how intelligent she was and how they had NEVER had a child in their office who was like her and they just all enjoyed her so much and they thought it was like sitting and talking to a small adult.............

I was very proud of this.. I was so excited...........the sad part is. adults see this as a gift, children her age see it as weird, unnatural, reason to treat her as an outcast......................sigh..........Why did God create children with the inability to understand things like this???? is it that, or is it the parents???????

So far so good with school.............At home it has not been too bad, i can see a great routine in the morning already which can be the most hectic part so that is AWESOME!!!!!!!!!  The only thing we have problems with is, she STILL like last year wants to wake the baby up and feed her!!!!  UGGG if I have not updated in a while, my baby is almost 3 and weighs 54 lbs!!!!!!!!!!!    Now, I don't care, but health wise I DO!!!  So we fight so far every morning about her going to get her...grrr but small fights, i don't have to turn into the exorcist mom or anything.. lolol

At night, as usual we have our dinner fight.. STILL no HI mom!!! I missed you when i walk in, it is always...........What's for dinner, is it ready............ok, i will go make it.. i say no, she grabs her stuff knowing with the baby i cant catch her and i get home and sometimes she is munching on a frozen waffle before i get there................CAN YOU SAY EWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!

I am seriously considering getting a lock for my this bad parenting????????????  I don't know.. If others see it will they think I am abusive?????? Surely they can see my children eat plenty!!!!!!!!

My luck i would get a lock and forget the combo, or loose the key!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  LOLOLOLOL  You know I am so forgetful anyway.. lol maybe not a good idea  lolol  OMGosh i would so die laughing at myself!!!!!!!

OK so my biggest issue the last few weeks.. which is NOT new, but i don't think i mentioned them before... Yes, I will start off with I am a bad parent when it comes to this cause i only last week realized that i should have been giving a consequence to this all along.. so she does it, but I could have stopped it a long time ago......

Well, with that said, she does NOT like me addressing this issue AT ALL now cause she does not see a problem with it........

So, I am prone to my stomach hurting sometimes when I eat.. I don't eat dinner a lot because of this.. Well I eat sometimes and when i do it takes like about 20 min for me not to be nauseated after I eat.. well she knows this and she does everything she can to get on my stomach..............I am like.. HONEY.. I love you but please don't touch my stomach............And she will turn around and hit me in the stomach.. not like hard hard, but at this point anything is bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!  OMGosh really???  then I get mad and just say something like honey that is not nice, mommies tummy hurts.. and go on............ WHAT???  That's it.. that is all i have???  Is that not like one of the most obvious reasons to issue a consequence????????????  DUH....

Well anyway, she also will try .. mommy I love you i want to hug and act like she is real upset and misses me and wants to be with mommy and hugs me and squeezes real tight!!!!!  Then I have to push her away before I vomit on her and she laughs!!!!!

So here is my question............What the heck is wrong with me not to notice this??????????

OH geeze!!!!!!!!

Well anyway, she is acting like it doesn't matter, I give a consequence and she is like i don't care, do what ever you want.............Then i just get more mad..........

Like I said tho, not too bad of a week really, she is still sleeping in her bed and so far no meltdowns to mention.............I feel good about it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I wonder why i want to take a b ow when i feel like this???  lololol

Samarra turns 8 next week on Friday!!!!!!!!!!  WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here are my last two weeks...

First day of school and not happy I took the pic= )  OH WELL...

Samarra pouring water, Siahna frozen and screeming!  lol

On new Teeter Totter.. it is fun!!  I rode it too!

Queen Siahna


Me HIGH.. lol  I had a horrible headache for two days.. I caved and took lortab.. lol

Nanna, Samarra and Siahna

Samarra on new teeter totter

Queen Samarra

Have an AWESOME DAY!!!!!!!!

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