Diary of an Asperger's Mom: Aspergers...ODD.... How can one person have so many tears! Aug. 3, 2012

Happy Friday!!!!

AND

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!!


Mom with Samarra and Elizabeth at graduation.... Happy Birthday to you!!!

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Just think about this for a second...It is a horrible thought, I shudder to even think of it!!

If my mom was not born... I would not be here!!! lololol

Way to go me.. make everything about me... lolol

My mom actually is the best mom I could have ever wanted, well now.. back when she used to spank me I don't think I thought that way.. But I am glad she did it now!!! Thanks MOM, I love you!!! I remember when i was young, I had horrible breathing problems from asthma and pneumonia and back then there were no home monitors for kids and my mom put a cot in her room right next to her with a humidifier right over my head and she was right there all night making sure i kept breathing .........Just one of MANY things I remember, but I think back on that quite a bit as one of my fondest memories...

OK back to reality, I could go on forever about my mother!!! lol

So on to topic... I think I am going to try and invent some kind of device that catches tears!!!!!!! I am pretty sure we could end the drought in Oklahoma with the amount of tears being shed by Samarra these days!!!!!! I could be rich!!!!!!

I don't know what the heck is going wrong!!! Anxiety because school is coming maybe? I have no idea!! But I promise you we got some serious estrogen flyin in my house!!!!!!!!!!

BUT, here is a warning to all men out there!!!!!!!!

I would not suggest any male come near my house for fear you might ingest too much estrogen and grow boobs or something!!!!!!!!!! lololol I crack me up..

We have been all over the spectrum this week from complete lack of connection with reality and choosing to sit in her room alone with the lights off and TV off. That one surprised me, cause that does not happen usually. She was going to spend the night with my dad for the first time and i could tell she was nervous a bit and she just started to withdraw, I could tell from me saying something to her and I know it was clear and loud enough to her sitting and staring off in space...... and she just got up and walked in there.. when i went in there and said something she grunted at me and never looked at me and got agitated...... WEIRD! So I guess now I am going to have to learn caveman speech!!!! UGGGGG lolol

But to the other side of the spectrum where she is so intrusive that I have had to literally push her away from me and hold her back.........She was loud and heavy footed and aggressive, not in a mean way, but her actions were all with force... I hate pushing her away like that, but seriously.. I cant breath at times she just wants to be like inside me and i just cant take it... after like 5 sec.. it has to stop.!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH and TIME!!!!!! I promise i was going to go to the insane asylum if I heard the word....Second, minute, hour, or day, month, or year again!!!!! It wouldn't stop!!! Everything was how many minutes, seconds.. and if i accidentally said it.. she would start counting.................GRRRRRRRRR Oh i said a month till her birthday, then she rattles off how many minutes and seconds in a month and said she would count them........... finally i was like Samarra look in my eyes and you listen good...........do not mention time to me again today...........repeat what i just said............and she says........don't mention time for the rest of the day which is only blah blah hours and sec..............I gave up............ lololololol

So spectrum covered all the way... You know the bad thing about this..I never knew what was comin next!!!!!!!!!! it was like having a different child every day! You ever looked in one of those funny mirrors at a carnival............I think that is what my brain feels like!!!!

So she spend the night with my dad and as they left I said............ Good Luck! lolol

Well it sounds as if it went pretty good, but if you did not see it or don't remember, Samarra gets nervous and cant stop it sometimes ... 4th of July is usually the day it happens mostly due to her anxiety about the fireworks........Well apparently she threw up a lot at there house after she went to bed and did not tell anyone about it, until it got steppe din of course... lolol.............OOPS!!! Sorry Dad, Sorry Janie= )

OK back to tears............WHEW do I know how to go on a tangent..... GRRRR

Everything cry.............Guess I don't need to say anymore......... lolol

I gave her three bites of bread with pills........cry
I opened the door to Siahna's room.........cry
I wouldn't let her hit the baby..........cry
I looked at her wrong one time.........cry
I forgot to say no tomato on her taco................cry
Siahna touched her...................cry
She has to take a bath..............cry

Just name it, she cried........................Don't get me wrong we had some pretty serious mad moments this week too, but over such little things I think she may be having some kind of hormone shift or something.!!!!!!!!!! Cause seriously this girl acted like she was on a period from HELL!!!!!!!!!!

OK so lets not just talk about all the negative.................I have actually got her to help me clean the living room three times this week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And she did it with out throwing things!!!!!!!!!! I also got her to clean her own mouth almost every day!

Yes, I know it sounds dumb, but i pick my battles and i just have not made a HUGE deal about some of them because I have enough to deal with!!!!!! She STILL when she eats PREFERS to use her hands rather than tableware!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I walk in the other day and she had jello, holding it in both hands with it up to her mouth eating like she was eatin slop!!!!!!!! What the??????????? I jumped on her and made her sit and eat the rest of it with the spoon i had given her while I sat there and watched her. Did the same thing with some mashed potatoes too.... I don't get it..........

Next year, try buttoning pants and snapping again................ Eventually we are going to run out of dresses and kids clothes that have elastic.. lolol

But she did clean her hands and wipe her face off all the way.. We both did a happy dance when she did it and she was so proud!!!!!!!!! lolol I did stand with her and show her to get it all clean, but still!!!!!! We are working on this so when she goes to school she wont be sitting around with food all over her after lunch.......she doesn't care, but i don't want the other kids talkin bout her..... I get so upset when i think she might get bullied again............I am telling you, if you have never dealt with that before, you will never understand how it feels to want to hurt someone else so bad!!!!!!!!! OMG my blood is boiling now!!!!!!!!!!!!! OK, I am ready to hit someone, i need a volunteer!!!!!!!!!!! lolol

AND

To be bullying a child who does not even know she is being bullied, she thinks she just has to follow their rules cause if they say it , it must be true............She doesn't understand what others do may not be right at times, she is literal.

Speaking of that.. lolol Samarra came up all excited this week to me and said ........"MOM!!!!!!!!!!!! I learned a metaphor!!!!!!!!!!!!" I said Oh yea??? She says.. Yea! Cutting the cheese means farting!!!!!!!!!

OK, so maybe normally you would not praise a child for learning this, but the fact that she has learned a metaphor and will understand it........YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! Of course afterwords we had to have about a 20 min conversation on why it meant that and how it doesn't make sense...............SIGH.. lololol

And the positive positive of the week...................She did not say she hated me , she did not mention any awesome way for me or anyone to die, she told me she loved me a couple times..................AND..............she said to me.. Mom you look like you could be a teenager still.............

OK, she got me................melt.............she is so sweet sometimes.................I wonder what the plan of hers is....... lololol JK!

I did not get many photos this time= ( Sorry, but I did get a YUMMY looking recipe!!!!!!!!!!