Diary of an Asperger's Mom

Friday, December 9, 2011

Aspergers?? ODD The only thing missing was the drop down airbag!... Dec. 9, 2011

Good Morning and HAPPY FRIDAY!!!

So Yesterday.. I am sitting at my desk, I know the window washer is coming down building... This guy is singing at the top of his lungs something about always being a country boy..... LOLOL I had to take a pic.....

SOOOOOOOOOOOO We went to therapy yesterday and two major things happened. Well you know how kids moods are kinda up and down and you love it when there up and you no likey when they are down???

WELL.............I NO LIKEY EITHER!!!!! lololol

Ok, I do like the up more= ) So take a child and pump them with adrenaline and little control of emotional reactions to situations and that is the recipe for Samarra........lololol

So yesterday was the last day for Samarra to see her therapist and the therapist reminded her about it... This really is a good opportunity to work on anger which we did......Samarra was NOT HAPPY! Pretty sure that is why therapist have small rooms in which therapy takes place, less mess when a patient goes psycho mad on them... She was so mad......Saying things like you cant leave me and banging the desk and flaring about..... I really got to hand it to therapist!!!!! Some are awesome, some are ewey! But the ones we go to are AWESOME!!! So sad to see her leave.

So we start with the MAD emotion........Well the therapist has been working with Samarra on "space" and personal bubbles. Samarra has a VERY intrusive way of showing affection and to people she probably doesn't need to.......

Example: When you go to hug someone to say hi or bye........You go in for hug you stay like 1 or 2 seconds and you release..........If it is an emotional meeting you may go in for hug.. stay 5 seconds maybe 10 longest and then you move back..

Samarra.........Goes in for hug.................and you have to start prying her off like 15 seconds in most people cant even take it that long...... and the more you pry the harder she tries to stay....... and it isn't just a hug, it is a tight squeeze and a lot of times jumpin with excitement......... Then with family.. the kisses start and she kisses like 20 times or more all over my face all the while hugging me....... and YES, I am her momma and I love her hugs and kisses!!

BUT DANG!!!!!

Just cause I am a mommy doesn't mean I don't need to breath and have a little bubble!!!!!!!! I like bubbles!!!!!! lololol

ANYWAY...........

My point in all that is.... when she was in her MAD state at the therapist I chose to tell her she was going to Florida with her Mimi for Christmas to see my sister graduate..........She went from MAD TO OVER EXCITED in 2.2 flat!!!!!! lolol

And as I predicted to the therapist, she flipped the heck out!!! It is always amazing how seeing is so much better than hearing.......That girl almost knocked me over coming at me!!!!!!! I am pretty sure I looked scared.........I had my arms out, I was braced for impact..........the only thing I was missing was a drop down air bag!!!!! lololol

So the therapy session went real well, we used BOTH scenarios for role playing... lolol Will it stop?? UM, no.. BUT I need to be better in "COACHING" in the moment.......Therapist says even in public I need to become more of a coach to help her realize the proper ways to be social and interact.....She did say I must do this discreetly as possible so Samarra does not get embarrassed by me doing it out in public. She says just a simple wisper will help.......SOOOOOOOO guess what..........More learning for me....

Have you ever watched "The Big Bang Theory?" Even if you don't keep watching it, Seriously, Samarra is a small Sheldon on that show...........it cracks me up!!!!! OH, not a show for kids...

So now Samarra knows and the questions have started, I am going to try and keep a log of the questions over the weekend and I will share them with you....

This is one already....

Samarra.......We NEED to go to an airplane shop and buy Mimi and I parachutes for our plane ride, so if we go down we will live.......
Me....well what about everyone else??
Samarra....UM, they should have been smart enough to bring a parachute.. I cant save the world mom....

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL I just left it alone........ lolol

Samarra chillin


Still thinks "fart" is the funniest word....... lol......

I raise such ladies... lolol

Well Have a GREAT FRIDAY.......and Weekend!!!

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Aspergers?? ODD...Brrrrrrrrr its cold!!! Is Santa British?? Dec.8, 2011

Happy Wednesday!!!


Yes, I am on the potty........AND???? I am cute on here too= )

It was cute I tried to get her to say toilet.. and she says...No tuulets....potty! lol

Jingle Bells......Jingle Bells........Jingle all the way......Oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh HEY! Sorry ....lolol The song is stuck in my head and I even dreamed it!!!!!!!! I thought maybe if I wrote it down it would go away...........NOPE didn't work...lol

Soooooooooo either God has done a major divine intervention or maybe I have been doing a great job at working with Samarra this last few days or so........You know there was ZERO drama at the house last night except Siahna being tired..........BUT!!!!!!!! Samarra actually jumped in and was trying to help her be happy........Samarra has a look of panic on her face while trying and she starts to freak out a bit and says things like...........MOM... It's NOT working what do I do???? With the deer in headlights look...lolol... But she tried something else!!!

But this is amazing! I am pretty sure it is the divine intervention though lolol Cause I was a bit stressed out yesterday myself.......Samarra does tend to remind me and want praise for being so good lately.. which of course I give it to her= )

BUT...........Does this mean there is an hidden motive??? I wonder what it could be??? See I shouldn't think like that..........But man do I know her well.....Something is coming............OH wait.. maybe it is because Santa is coming!!!! She has said a few times she is worried she wont get anything cause her emotions are hard and she is bad....... I just have been reassuring her she is NOT "bad" she just has things she needs to work on more...... I HATE when parents allow their kids to think they are BAD............They are NOT bad, their actions are what is bad....

ANYWAY......lolol

The only thing that went on is Samarra seems to be overly excited about Christmas and she just HAS to go crazy with it... She is not being bad, but she intrudes in my space when she gets so excited, like hugging me very tight and not letting go and getting in my face and kissing me all over to the point where I cant breath.. and she "pats" me which hurts bad!! So even though she is not being "bad" I still have to get a bit crazy momma on her to get her off me... I think I am a bit claustrophobic or something cause I cant breath!!!

But I guess if she is going to do it to someone.. why not me..lolol I can take the bruises... hahahah........ But I must teach her not to do this to others!!

She was on a thought kick last night and she says.....

In a British accent she says.........I think Santa is British or he learned to speak it while giving presents out, cause I am almost positive when I saw him the other day he said.......iPod.. but Britishly......... lolol It was so cute and funny sounding.

Then she goes off on some rant about molecules and cold weather and it being cold on the moon and why............NONE of it made sense at all to me and she says to me.Mom do you understand that?? Well, I did not have an answer so I just said... Honey I am sure that is very scientific and factual but no, I don't get it..........But I do know the moon is cold, so they say and then she says well it is because and then goes off on the molecules represent this and that.. blah blah... lolol So it is at these times I wonder if she is just logically coming to a conclusion even if it might not be true, or if I am just so ignorant that I don't know.........

Like I said before.. should I need the internet to understand her??? lolololol

Oh another cute thing she said the day before.... My dad has written quite a few books and she decided she was going to take one to school and show off a bit and the book she chose had 100 pages in it, but the 100th page had no typing on it just a "100" She says to me..........Well I guess he ran out of things to say so he just put a "100" on there and left it.... lolol

Anyway..........I am THANKFUL for no drama or anyone getting hurt!!! And I am going to think positive that this is how it will be forever going forward!!!!!!!!

OH..........wish me luck.. I will be telling Samarra she is going to Florida for Christmas this weekend I think!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lord help me!!! And hope no one gets hurt in the process!!!!!!!

Also She is going to be in a national spelling bee in a few weeks as well!!!!!!! I think I might have a champion here.........But then she says......I already know I am smarter than all of them, why do I need to prove it.......I am going to let someone else win so they can think they are smart since I don't need to know I am .. I just am.............GRRRRRRR she better not blow it on purpose!!!

I didn't load up on pics last night = ( ...But I still have great oldies!!! I love looking at them!!

I don't know if anyone else does this, but I look at my girls and just am amazed how God put us together and just how beautiful and unique they are... Amazing.

Samarra with my dad, Richard Hardin, who wrote the book she is so proud of = )

I got a rock..... Kids are amused by such small things lol aww

YUP, Cute.. I am never a problem lolol

SQEEESH

Have a great day!!!

Monday, December 5, 2011

Aspergers?? ODD... Stick to real things mom.. like Santa... lol Dec. 5, 2011

Happy 16 more days till Christmas!!

OH, and Monday

At the OPUBCO Christmas party for the girls.....

Can I say that I think ONCE again that I think I may be the problem instead of Samarra, or rather her issues spawn from me?? My routine got jacked up this weekend and I did NOT like it!!!!!!!!!!! I was CRANKY!!! My mom knows, she was with me.. lolol But, as the adult I am and wish I wasn't at times, I recognized my cranky and dislike of the situation and verbalized it and moved on! Maybe I should try having a meltdown sometimes, maybe it is a mind cleanser.. lolol

Even with all the holiday buzz going on this weekend, I can say it was pretty good. We ALMOST had our first meltdown in public and I am not even sure why... I am almost 100% positive it was because a baby was crying.......There was a baby crying near us and Samarra I think got set off a bit and started grabbing her ears and quinching her eyes and she backed herself up to a wall and was rocking.

I just STOPPED and thought.............NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I looked at her and I said......This will NOT happen here! Put your arms down and lets walk away......... I took a hold of her arm and she kinda growled at me and yanked it away hard and right back to her ears..........The baby quit crying and she just stopped.......... I knew a long time ago babies crying set her off, but I thought it was just Siahna...........GUESS NOT.......... But Really, that is not a meltdown really, She has sensitivity issues and it is not her fault. She has told me many times that she does that cause it hurts her ears BAD.... When she had her hearing tested, she hears some frequencies better than most people do.........So, poor baby= (

OK, so I know you are anxiously awaiting to hear about what #2 meltdown from last week was.................WELL, if you follow my blog, this will need NO explanation at all...........Samarra's therapist is moving to Florida permanently and she just found out Thursday.......... ENOUGH SAID??

WELL...........

She seemed ok with it at first, you know the 100 questions for her therapist and telling her it was ok, as long as she comes back every week to see her.......lolol
So we leave and all seems ok, she is still talking about it and then it hits.......She is MAD, screaming "YOU CANT LEAVE ME"........"YOU CANT LEAVE ME!"........Crying, screaming,flaring about and she decides she is going to go with her to Florida..........Apparently the therapist life is suppose to revolve around her as is everyone else.........Remember, it is all about her= )..So this was fun for me, I was a bit shaken by this one, or I was cold........NOT SURE lolol

But like always........it starts with a vengeance and ends as though nothing happened. I will probably never get used to that, but positive thing is.. it is usually over after that........We will see how it goes this Thursday.

Once again I have to point out this was not her acting bad, this was a case of her not being able to handle emotions.....She has been VERY good with the obedience and following through on tasks to get stars and more times than not she is saying yes ma'am, and no ma'am, and offering to help me.....Playing with her sister......So what if it is to get stars......She is a good girl.......Now if I can help her learn to deal with emotions.

OMGosh... I am NOT looking forward to hormone changes..........LAWD help me!!!

ANYWAY............

So this weekend we went to my work for the Christmas party for the kids.......They always do a great job with it and the girls were so excited to see SANTA!!!
Samarra is convinced the ONLY real Santa is the one at my work...........AAAAWWWWWWWW I am just so happy that she believes in him still. Siahna just kept saying Santa.. Santa.. candy cane... candy cane... AAAAAAWWWWWWWWWW

We also went to Samarra's choir performance at church......it was so good= ) I took pictures and will share= ) Oh and went to Cici's pizza.........YAY!!! lolol

My beauties in front of the Christmas tree at OPUBCO

Samarra doing a craft at the OPUBCO party

This IS the real SANTA!!! She said she wanted to go on the roof to watch him come in !!!! I have to tell you this makes me so happy for her to believe when all the rest of the time she goes by facts!

My mommy and Siahna doing a craft...........You know you have to have your tongue just right to color!!!


I am NOT getting any closer to you... Just give me my candy cane! lololol

YUMMY noodles!!

Miss picky............not eating..


Samarra in the Christmas program at Meadowood Baptist Church in MWC.

Siahna wanted to vacuum so bad this weekend so I let her... lol I got a video!! It is so cute!!!

The video is sideways??? Still cute!!

Siahna vacuuming..........awwww

Have an AWESOME DAY!!!!!!

Friday, December 2, 2011

Aspergers...ODD... OMGosh I missed you blog!! Dec. 2, 2011

Happy Friday!!

I am SOOOOOOOOOOOO glad it is the weekend!!!!

OK, So this week has been UGGGGGGGGGGGG. So I wrote on Monday I think.. And since then, i have had to take the baby to the hospital for a fall, Samarra has had two MASSIVE MASSIVE meltdowns, I had SIX and i will repeat SIX shots in my back, The house alarm decided to go nuts in the middle of the night and I have been BUSY!!!!

So my insides feel kinda like mush being held together by adrenaline and electrical current!!!!!!!

I have a twitch in my eye, my leg is twitching, I am wired like no other, hands shaking and everything is fine right now. CRAZY!! Maybe it is the start of ZOMBIEISM!!!!!!! Thank God my sub-human likes zombies, she can keep me in her basement as a pet lolol Love ya Jaline!! OMGosh and she told me the funniest story last night BHAAAAA!!!!!!!!! She goes to a new wave tanning salon with a bed that scans you to make sure you don't burn.. They forgot to tell her it sprays water at her while she is in it!!!!!!!!!!!! LOLOLOLOLOLOL I SOOOOO wished that was on video.. minus the no clothing thing lolololol I was ROLLIN!

OK, so anyway... Jus tlike all babies, Siahna fell and just happen to meet the door jam to her room with her head..........this thing grew the zice of a chicken egg like in 2.2 seconds and it was dark purple instantly...... I stayed calm but freakin on the inside......And THEN Samarra went into a meltdown!!!!!! She is screaming as loud as she can into a blanket.

SHE IS GOING TO DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She repeats this over and over as she is wailing about and I try to tell her she is not going to die and she gets mean sounding and saying YES SHE IS!!!!!!!!!! CALL MIMI So she can say goodbye to her!!!!!!!

Can you tell she DOES NOT handle emotional things well???

I am trying to put an ice pack on her head and calm Siahna and Samarra is out of control.. I really tried not to call mom this time, but I had to.........So mom comes over and Samarra is still screaming.......I lost time at this point I am not sure when Siahna stopped crying but Samarra did not, but I knew I HAD to get Siahna checked or I was not going to be able to let her sleep....So mom and I went and Samarra stayed with her dad......... Well this all started about 6:30........I call to check on Samarra at 8:15 and she is still crying and freakin out........ Well we got done and home by 9:00 and Samarra is passed out, face swollen up!!!!!!

OK, check this out.. the doctor says, she is fine, BUT if you cant wake her up in the morning take her strait to the ER............UMMMMMMMMMM WHAT THE??????? OH Yeah that is going to help me sleep!! So the night consisted of me looking at her like every 15 min to see if she was moving lolol She is fine... I tool a pic, but only the next day so it doesn't look near as bad.......Yes, i was a good mommie and didn't make her pose for a pic during the ordeal lololol

OK, Well I still have # 2 MELTDOWN to tell you about, but I need to get ready for work= ( So stay tuned for the next one........Reminded me of Max off the show "Parenthood" except that is a tv show and the show can only last so long.. lolol

We did manage to get in seeing the lights by our house as well and I took some pics of that too= )

OH and I am a bad mom for this...........I planned for Samarra to go to Nanna's for tonight! I need a break! I did not tell her or she would have got too excited, so they get to deal with letting her know her schedule is going to change......... I know it is wrong ........lol But funny kinda....lolol Besides she loves going over there!