Aspergers Mommy

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Well I am a mom of two wonderful kids that I have been blessed with!!! I am not a psychiatrist, or a doctor so anything I say is not the answer to all, it might not even be the right thing for me!! lol I do my best with who and what I have to overcome any challenge with lots and lots of prayer,my mom who is God given just to me for this very reason, my sisters, and friends! I love life, mostly positive........BUT I am insane at times, get to the point of wanting to explode! lol.. I sing kids songs way too much! Did I mention I am OCD when it comes to cleaning. Which believe it or not I think is what keeps me sane. When I clean, I love it. Breakdowns, crying, talking, just all seem to be ok as I clean..Thank God for OCD!!!

Friday, December 30, 2011

Aspergers?? ODD... "Santa" is INSANE!!! And yes.. It is all me.... Dec. 30, 2011

Happy Friday!!!

So my angel has been home for four days now, and I think breaks are BAD!!! My whole body is having to adjust to having her home!! My back hurts, my stomach is on a constant roller coaster and GUESS WHAT!!!

I think most of it is my fault!! I noticed from the second she got home I started catering to her to make sure the PEACE stayed in the house and I have worn myself out!!!!!!!!
Well I am not gonna keep it up, I am going to need a full time massage therapist and a psychologist, a pain doctor and a constant flow of grace and patients from God............OR I think the zombie effect is going to kick in again!!!!!!!!!

Some people tell me that I seem to be more of the problem then Samarra is and that I allow her too much lee-way and I love them for trying to find a solution for our things we deal with. But The one thing I have to remind people of is Samarra was the sole attention getter...Samarra has a HUGE need for attention, it must be pretty much constant and if not she MUST be doing something to entertain herself.

Now you say well sure some kids need more attention than others.. that's normal..........Yes it is.....Now take that and times it by 100 and you have Samarra.. That is when the ODD kicks in full force! The anger, the lashing out the evil eyes...Well you know what life does not revolve around her and she is going to have to learn that. If you ask my sub-human, Jalaine, She will tell you different lololol But I cant only pay attention to her, I have work, I have another baby, I have responsibilities at home.

So YES, I admit I am one of the problems......Bad mommy for bringing in the money from work and making sure food and house is clean and taking care of the baby!!!!!!!!!!! HOW DARE ME!!!

OK, sorry I had to put that out there, cause I really try hard and I finally in years think I am a good mother......We don't have her trying to kill the baby anymore, I don't have her telling me she wants to chop me up in pieces just to see me die... We actually like in a very chaotic house but not a dangerous chaotic house and it is AWESOME!!!

I have made huge improvements with her and she has made them as well.... But one thing that needs to be realized is Samarra is unique in how she handles stress and emotions and daily living has more issues and stress than fun vacations do.


So like I said.. "Santa" is insane and so you know I am saying who is really insane here lololol

Why the heck in my little cubicle of a house did "santa" get a pop up play house with two full rooms that are 5 feet tall and came with a refigerator, oven and a toy box!!!

WHAT THE HECK??????? this this is sooooooooo massive that MY OCD kicked in to HIGH and beyond as soon as it set up I actually have to go through the dang house to go to the back of the house!!!!!!!!!!!

Kids love it...........MOM DOES NOT!! Ok...ok.... just alittle I do, I think I spent more time in the house than i did outside the day I set it up.. AND guess what???

I have all 4 girls tonight and I already promised I would put it up !!!!!!!!!!!! So I am going home early to get it set up just perfect and I am going to make pop corn and goodies and have dinner ready when they come home and HOPEFULLY they will play all night and I will not stress!!!

Sounds great right.. my plan to control 4 girls all night.........lolol  Hey I can dream cant I??????   hahahahaha

I need help!!!!!!!!!! Please pray for me.. these girls get my OCD going STRONG!!!!! It is the kind where I have to put put on work out clothes and the hair goes up like I am a sumo wrestler to keep from sweating kind!!!

Just a tip to other parents... A toy should NOT make you have to plan what goes in what room prior to opening it!!!!!!!!! lolololol

What if I forget to put something on one side.. I will have to go in the house to get through........Oh and no water for me! lolol OH well I am sure they will have fun... I might go insane.. but who cares about that lolol I will take pics of it so you can see....

Those of you who might have OCD you might not want to look at photos when I post them!!!!

I been lazy and didn't take any new pics, but I took the cutest video of Siahna trying to pretend she is a horse lol So that is what I will post= )

OK Three videos... YAY!!!

1. Siahna kinda singing Jingle Bells and pickin her nose lolol
Siahna Picken and Singing

2. Siahna being a horsey!!!  LOL she is trying so hard and it looks so funny!!!  lolol
Siahna being a horsey 

3. Siahna throwing a bean bag... YES, she got her pants off again!!!!!!!! lolol
Siahna throwing bean bag.

Have an AWESOME DAY!!!!

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