Aspergers Mommy

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Well I am a mom of two wonderful kids that I have been blessed with!!! I am not a psychiatrist, or a doctor so anything I say is not the answer to all, it might not even be the right thing for me!! lol I do my best with who and what I have to overcome any challenge with lots and lots of prayer,my mom who is God given just to me for this very reason, my sisters, and friends! I love life, mostly positive........BUT I am insane at times, get to the point of wanting to explode! lol.. I sing kids songs way too much! Did I mention I am OCD when it comes to cleaning. Which believe it or not I think is what keeps me sane. When I clean, I love it. Breakdowns, crying, talking, just all seem to be ok as I clean..Thank God for OCD!!!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Aspergers?? ODD... I am addicted and a wimp = ( ... Oct. 11, 2011


Once again Coffee is my friend and will be my BFF forever infinity! lol

First off.. I am SOOOOO bummed about the NBA NON-decision. = ( SIGH.. GREED is a deadly sin isn't it?

So I have managed to teach Samarra ONE thing that seems to be pretty consistent now... SOOOOOOO Why do I feel guilty?? I wake up and of course even if I breath, she jumps up and is ready to do jumping jacks, have long meaningless conversations, EAT, play games..........WELL we all know I MUST HAVE COFFEE!!! lol I am a morning person, but for like the first ten minutes I am the meanest person you ever met. DONT TALK TOP ME AT ALL!! Especially questions! I cant think.. I can barely walk, let alone do two things at once. I need all concentration on making it to the other room with out falling lololol

So Samarra has been waking up and walking up to me and just standing there looking at me.. which is annoying as well... But I finally say.. WHAT? .. And she says to me I just wanted to say good morning and I love you.... AAAAAAWWWWWW

Now why do I feel guilty??? Cause in my mind I am thinking .. that is SOOOOOOO not what she wants to say.. I know it isn't, she has learned how to get what she wants.. She wants FOOD and she wants it NOW! But then I think well maybe she does just want to say she loves me.. Then I feel guilty for even thinking different..........UGGG See why cant i just believe her= ( I guess cause she is my beautiful daughter and I know what makes her tick........... BUT WHAT IF I AM WRONG!! Well at least I do respond nicely and let her know I thought it was very sweet of her to tell me that, which I hope is reinforcing the habit= )

But almost ALWAYS once she checks to see if I will answer her.. she bugs me to death about food.. so it kind of confirms my earlier thoughts= ( BOO HOO!

The night was decent.. I was a WIMP..... I caved in dealing with responsibilities and got McDonald's chicken nuggets for dinner... At ll.east I was wise enough to only get apples with it and then give them some green beans.......So overall not too horrible, but I KNEW Samarra would be happy with it....AND I wouldn't have to deal with the dinner issues.........I walk in moms house... Samarra runs up.... Whats for dinner, is it ready...........I say yes......She walks out the door and I know she is happy for a while now.... I WANT TO HEAR HER SAY HI MOM!!! Oh well= )

So now to my addiction!! I am an addict to thinking about food!!! What the heck is that????? So yes, I have lost my mind, and you will agree as soon as I tell you BIG DEEP BREATH..........OK, So I think about food a lot and I don't know why.....I hear a song and depending on the song it makes me think of different food.. I heard some kind of music up here at work that reminded me of India food, then I was sure I was having Mexican for dinner a little later..... then I wanted Del Rancho. I even went as far as to look up the menu and decide what the family would want and i was going to call it in.......... NOW here is the thing.. I NEVER get the food! I would NEVER eat so much bad food.. blah... Here is what I do though........I have favorite foods and I always revert back to them.

So now I wonder why Samarra has foods she will only eat.. I did not think i was obvious, but I think she has gotten it from me.. and she thinks about food A LOT!!!!!

I am breeding food thought addicts...He-he......I wonder if I am the only one??? lololololol

So thanks to this blog of mine I think more about what I do and the more I write the more i realize..................I AM CRAZY! LOLOLOLOL So thank you to all who suggested I write a blog to help me. ha-ha

One last thought for the day............How is it that my child.. or all children, I don't know can turn any toy into a weapon? And why? Something to ponder= )

Want to freak someone out??? Walk around with a smile all day= )

Sorry no new pictures= ( I was chillaxin with my babies= )

I was looking through photos with them and came across her graduation pics from kindergarten when she was barely 4 years old= )... awwwwwwww 

Samarra and my sub-human= ) Jalaine.

Have a great TUEASDAY!!!

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