Aspergers Mommy

My photo
Well I am a mom of two wonderful kids that I have been blessed with!!! I am not a psychiatrist, or a doctor so anything I say is not the answer to all, it might not even be the right thing for me!! lol I do my best with who and what I have to overcome any challenge with lots and lots of prayer,my mom who is God given just to me for this very reason, my sisters, and friends! I love life, mostly positive........BUT I am insane at times, get to the point of wanting to explode! lol.. I sing kids songs way too much! Did I mention I am OCD when it comes to cleaning. Which believe it or not I think is what keeps me sane. When I clean, I love it. Breakdowns, crying, talking, just all seem to be ok as I clean..Thank God for OCD!!!

Monday, October 10, 2011

Aspergers?? ODD....So TIRED = MEAN?? I dont find this in the dictionary. Oct. 10, 2011

Happy Monday!!!!!!!!!!!!


Seriously about 30 minutes ago I wanted to pass out.. I was walking into walls on my way to the kitchen......I have this serious issue about my balance when I first wake up... I am sure I look 100% drunk!!! So I made it to the kitchen, got me some strong coffee and I feel Great now!!! For a little bit anyway lol

So this weekend was pretty good.. Had the big OU vs. Texas party at the house. I had pulled pork, Cheese dip with sausage, hot wings, and hot dogs.. then all the fixin's and sides....... I WAS BUSY!!!

Samarra was SSOOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited which she always gets like that when people will be over. The problem is NOT before the party, or during the party.. It all comes AFTER the party.

Everyone was gone by like 5:30 or so and I am not sure but I believe the rest of the waking moments over the weekend we had some kind of issues. Samarra LOVES people.............TOOOOOOO MUCH!! I kept having to tell her to get away from some people.. If you haven't read it before, Samarra is INTRUSIVE into other peoples bubbles to the point i have to push her back sometimes..

I KNOW........ I feel so bad after, but seriously I get to a panic moment when she is all in my face and I cant breath well.......I have TRIED to teach her otherwise... It is kind of embarrassing too.. Yes I know SHOULD I BE THINKING OF ME???

WELL HECK YES.. this is my blog dang-it and I will write about me too lolol EMBARRASSING!!!

She cried A LOT the rest of the weekend.. Saying things like she missed people......... like she had just known them forever and they go way back.....For some reason she carries this HUGE emotional dark cloud after major events like that.... I wonder what that is???

Well the tired part doesn't help... quite a few times on Sunday I got so mad that i just got quiet.. I didn't know what else to do??? She had about OHHHHHH 6 or 7 moments where she would just go into a complete rage for the tiniest things ever..........


-Not getting 15 chips, she only got 12.
-She forgot to get the toilet paper before she went to the restroom.
-Siahna got to slide down twice while she walked out of room.
-I was not quick enough with breakfast.
-I wouldn't let her play in the water out in the cold.
-OH !! She wanted to walk down the street alone?????? WHAT THE???
-OH!! OH!!! Why she couldn't eat a whole hotdog at one time.

Anyway it was DUMB AND STUPID!!!!!!

And If I even tried to explain anything , I got PISSED!!! Cause she would turn it into a manipulation conversation and i just simply said.

I WILL NOT discuss this further... you are trying to manipulate me and I refuse to let you and walk off.........

THEN she would get so mad that it just went from there... stuff flying.. I even got a "I hate you" out of her lolol GOOD thing my skin is thick and I know she loves me= )

So when she got done.. I made her clean up, which she did fine actually... WEIRD.. but then ON to the next one. She was very down on herself during all of this....

Saying things like....
-Just kill me now.
-Go ahead ground me for my life so no one has to look at me...
-I am a horrible person.
-I cant do anything right ever, I am worthless...

But SEE that yet is another way for her to control a situation.... I melt down and feel sympathy and she doesn't have to follow the rules....

WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO BE SO SMART??? But Why is she like this at ALL?? SIGH.. Only God knows... and he knows best... So guess what.. it sucked, but I am smiling and it isn't fake= ) And I will miss being with my girls all during the work week... SEE I AM WEIRD!!

Here are some photos from this weekend= )

Mommia ans Siahna....
YUP.....I like food ... AND???

I LOVE OU TOO!!!!!!!!

PLEASE?????  Didn't I eat enough for ice cream???

Me and my beauties= ) Looking fuzzy... lol


No comments:

Post a Comment