Aspergers Mommy

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Well I am a mom of two wonderful kids that I have been blessed with!!! I am not a psychiatrist, or a doctor so anything I say is not the answer to all, it might not even be the right thing for me!! lol I do my best with who and what I have to overcome any challenge with lots and lots of prayer,my mom who is God given just to me for this very reason, my sisters, and friends! I love life, mostly positive........BUT I am insane at times, get to the point of wanting to explode! lol.. I sing kids songs way too much! Did I mention I am OCD when it comes to cleaning. Which believe it or not I think is what keeps me sane. When I clean, I love it. Breakdowns, crying, talking, just all seem to be ok as I clean..Thank God for OCD!!!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Aspergers?? ODD... I am missing something!!! Oct. 18, 2011

Happy Tuesday!!!

Ok, I know I am a strange one.........I have known this since I was a child and now you will know a bit more. lololol

So why is it....A fly is in my house I have NO issues killing it, but I feel guilty and sad when a fly gets in my car and it flies out of my car once I get to my destination?? I feel all bad that it probably feels lost..= ( So I have had a fly friend in the car or about two days and it flew out this morning........I tried to kill him the whole time in the car.. and now it flew out i feel bad.........That is just goofy! lololol

One of these days I will NOT get all excited thinking Samarra will run up and say "HI MOMMY" when I get home, cause i get kinda sad every day when all I get is her running up and saying "What's for dinner? Is it ready?" I don't know why I expect it to change.. but I guess I hope= ) Siahna runs up with her baby voice and says mommia and hugs me..........AAAAAWWWWWWW I guess one is better than none= )

Overall the night was pretty good.. Samarra has discovered NetFlix on the Wii and is playing Wii sports the last few days.. It wont last, but for now it is ok= )

I actually sit down to play with her and of course she beats me,I think it is because I have a baby crawling on me lol Samarra also decided yesterday that she will do the "STAR system" this week and so everything she did last night was only to get a star lol but hey.. she did something lolol

So I guess it is a good thing to get her to do more..........but the concept behind it is a lost cause.......I asked her to do something last night and she says... I guess I dont need a star right now............LOLOLOL
She says the star system she will play along with cause she knows it makes me feel like I am in control..........SIGH.............lolololololol  How do you get past that Mr./Mrs/ therapist. Maybe it should not, but THAT CRACKS ME UP!!!  

Ok, so I have to tell you..... Since last Thursday morning I have had this really strong feeling of missing something and sometimes it is very powerful to the point it becomes a bit emotional .. not to the point of crying or anything.. just a feeling.....I FIGURED IT OUT!! Last Wed. afternoon I had my last appt to check to make sure I am healing from surgery and after that it hit me......... I was told before hand that MOST woman experience some depression after they have a hysterectomy and I was like NOT ME!!! Well guess what??? that is the feeling of "missing" I am having.... NO way am I depressed and wont.. but it makes sense now.... So Now I know.. time for it to stop! I was seriously getting upset it wouldn't go away and wondered what I was forgetting or what... WHEW mystery solved.. yay!!!= )

So Siahna got into the wipes last night and I am pretty sure with in less than 2 minutes they had over 50 wipes all over the living room and were trying to cover there bodies to be mummies... lolol and they had this light up microphone holding it to their faces to look scary... Samarra did not get the scary look down, but Siahna nailed it..... creapy!!!

Here are a couple pics from last night= )

Have an AWESOME DAY!!!

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