Aspergers Mommy

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Well I am a mom of two wonderful kids that I have been blessed with!!! I am not a psychiatrist, or a doctor so anything I say is not the answer to all, it might not even be the right thing for me!! lol I do my best with who and what I have to overcome any challenge with lots and lots of prayer,my mom who is God given just to me for this very reason, my sisters, and friends! I love life, mostly positive........BUT I am insane at times, get to the point of wanting to explode! lol.. I sing kids songs way too much! Did I mention I am OCD when it comes to cleaning. Which believe it or not I think is what keeps me sane. When I clean, I love it. Breakdowns, crying, talking, just all seem to be ok as I clean..Thank God for OCD!!!

Friday, August 12, 2011

Aspergers? ODD, Instant RAGE and ready for school lol Aug. 12, 2011

 Doing happy dance, the one I hope no one ever sees me do unless they love me unconditionally!!   

I had a friend pass away from leukemia yesterday..........Prayers to the whole family!!!

So I did not right yesterday, I was soooooooooooo extremely busy........ But for all of you addicts out there!!!  YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!  Next time I will post something even if it is a pic of me with a mean face!!

Ok so you want to know why I titled instant RAGE?? It is lovely Wed. evening and I am cleaning........ because I love to clean and I love to see my house so clean.. it makes me happy........... lol ANYWAY. I go to take the trash out, well I have to shut the big door because Siahna knows how to open door and escape the screen door. So let me see if I can play this out right...

I walk out door with trash.
I close door behind me.
Samarra goes to window.
I am not off porch yet and Samarra starts tapping window with one hand and waving for me to come back in with the other.
I tell her to stop I am just taking trash out.
She begins to hit the window harder and her face looks funny and the other hand is in full motion of waving for me to come in.. it is getting a bit loud...
I think.. I am not sure I had the look of piercing knives and I am thinking WHAT THE???????
Stop Samarra!!!!!! Give me like 30 seconds to get trash in container.  I start to take some steps.
She starts banging on the window face all weird......... AND............AND......... she starts kicking the wall HARD!!!!!!!!! And she is still doing all the rest.


I drop the trash and I am sure i looked like a charging BULL coming back up the steps and she took off!!!!!!

It was at this moment I had to make a very important decision that some parents don't do..............REALIZE I was irrational at the moment due to the situation and I seriously was going to spank her, but I couldn't cause I DO NOT spank out of anger.........
So I let her be where ever she went for a moment, and i tried to figure out why this even happened and i went and asked her.. at this point she was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO gone, no discussion was possible I went on with cleaning.. I needed it now more than EVER!!!! 

So the Doctor has told me that her anxiety issues with being alone need to be worke don and the worst thing i could possibly do for a consequence is make her play in another room. Because she has got to learn she can be in a room alone and I am not going to leave the house with out her.... Kind of like taking a child to daycare for first time they learn to know mommy or daddy is coming back.

Thank GOD I am clam now, still MAD AS HECK, but calm......... So she says. Well daddy left and I didnt want you to leave..................I AM TAKING THE TRASH OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!         Oh and by the way.. daddy did not LEAVE LEAVE...........He is at Sturgis in South Dakota with his family!!! he will be back this week. 

OK, so the reason may be a good one cause she was scared, but the action is UNACCEPTABLE!!!!!!!!!! So i did issue a consequence and that was no computer games all night, no TV all night and she WILL stay in her room and find something to do for 30 min and if she even speaks of coming out to me then the time will be added and she is not to ask me to come in there either......... So she got time added a few times and she is able to talk about anything else, just not those two things.

I don't know if this will prevent another just DUMB episode, but I am PROUD OF ME!!!!!!!!!!!  Yes, I got the trash to the container  lolol I can only imagine people who went by wondering why I had trash in my yard....   lolol

Bed time crying for daddy.. that's ok............I went to bed= )

So, we had "Meet and Greet" at Samarra's new school last night and i am so in love with it!  I hope I am not putting too much faith in it, but her teacher Ms. Schones is so awesome!!!!!!! I think it will be good.... Cross fingers and PRAY HARD for it.  So on the wall it should Samarra will be the teachers aid the first week, She is so excited!!!!!!!

So all went well.. we did a practice run of me dropping her off and her finding the class, and she did great!! She met some of her classmates and I so hope she makes friends.. one other little girl already said that me and her mom should talk so they can spend the night!!!!!!!!!  OMG I hope so!! I hope this interaction class she is in kicks in full force before that happens, Samarra does NOT like playing kid games and other little girls do mostly.... Samarra wants to play HER stuff which other kids don't get and then Samarra gets mad............. OK POSITIVE THOUGHTS!!!!

 Me as a kid= )

For now I will focus on ITS FRIDAY!!!!

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