Aspergers Mommy

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Well I am a mom of two wonderful kids that I have been blessed with!!! I am not a psychiatrist, or a doctor so anything I say is not the answer to all, it might not even be the right thing for me!! lol I do my best with who and what I have to overcome any challenge with lots and lots of prayer,my mom who is God given just to me for this very reason, my sisters, and friends! I love life, mostly positive........BUT I am insane at times, get to the point of wanting to explode! lol.. I sing kids songs way too much! Did I mention I am OCD when it comes to cleaning. Which believe it or not I think is what keeps me sane. When I clean, I love it. Breakdowns, crying, talking, just all seem to be ok as I clean..Thank God for OCD!!!

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Aspergers? ODD.....Could it be?? Sure, yes it could! AND??? August 2, 2011

Good Morning Tuesday, Please be good to me!!!   LOLOL

Darla's forecast - Extremadamente calientes!!!!!

All I can say is...........If you work outside...........Thank you!!!  And BE CAREFUL!!!

So my lead in to the  title was sparked from me noticing how others react to Samarra when I don't...... You know every parent gets "used" to their child and probably dont react as a stranger would judge them for their actions........ So here is the thing......Because I am used to her am I not helping her as much as I should???

I have no idea why I was thinking of this, but at the same time I was thinking of this awesome dip I make with sausage and rotel and cream cheese and ...  OMGosh it is so good!!!!!!!!  I did make it for dinner, this family devourers it like it is CRACK!!!!!!!!!!!   lololol  And I wonder why my children love food  lolol

OK, back on subject, my mind is all over the place today!!!!!! Sometimes I wonder if Samarra is JUST LIKE ME, but is not old enough to deal with all the stuff that goes on or have the self control to not do things that cross her mind!!!!  HUM.. ANYWAY....  lol  Someone made a comment to me the other day when I said I don't go to church that much anymore because I never know how Samarra will act or what she will do...... No one knows about her really and of course I had to shortly explain and they said to me........ If those in church will not except her as she is and understand then the church is not made of the right thing........... You know what....  THAT IS RIGHT!!!!!!  One thing I can not stand is people who think they are better than others and they are in a church! 

Here is how I feel ad this has nothing to do with church. I am me, I am no better than anyone, no one is better than me and money should NOT separate people in who they like and dont. Just a Darla opinion= )

Point is, I started realizing that I was not keeping her from church to protect her, I was doing it 1. To save my sanity  lolol 2. I was worried what others who did not know Samarra would react to her and judge her and I.
SHAME ON ME!!!  Those of you who know me,,,,,,,,,,,KNOW......... I dont give a darn what anyone thinks of me, never have and never will. OH and I probably say what i think a little more than I should...lololol...  lololol   But if you love me or like me, no matter what I do or say should not change it....  Be thankful you have one friend who WILL tell you the truth!!!!!!!!!!   lolol

Last night was the last night my sister is in town and I already miss her!!!  BOOOOOO= (   But things will change around here as well because she has been also helping me with the kids!!!  So now it is back to me doing it.............. NOT READY!!!!!!!!!

We go back to Dr. Poyner today, I am anxious to get started on turning things around.......... This week she has not tried to smother her sister, but she has begun putting her in rooms alone and turning off light and shutting the door on her which causes her to panic and scream.......... Samarra says she wants her to be scared of being alone too!!!!!!!!!  WHAT THE????

Can someone..... ANYONE tell me how such an intelligent child can want these things?  I just dont get it.. Thank God for a caring doctor..........Cause I cant wrap my brain around why she was hysterically laughing last night thinking back on when Siahna was bleeding all over..............

OK is some truth........... SOmetimes I really want to just scream  and sometimes I do....... But sometimes I really want to just grab Samnarra and say "What the heck is wrong with you" Are you insane???????

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO, I dont do that of course, but I want to... This blog is for me so I might as well tell some truth... I am not the perfect little mother who just is so understanding and just so patient...................LOLOLOL      I WISH............  It is HARD!!!!!!!!!!!! 

So ANXIOUS about doctor will let ya know....

I love my babies no matter what and I will sport my smile till the day insanity sets in and then my sub-human will make sure I get a smile tatoo to keep it going= )   LOLOLOL 

OMG I just became a ninja master !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was so awesome!!!!!!!!  You should have seen it, like i saw a spider and i did some seriously awesome moves =- )        CRAP, I am going to be sore tomorrow!! lololololol

Oldie, oldie's 



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