Aspergers Mommy

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Well I am a mom of two wonderful kids that I have been blessed with!!! I am not a psychiatrist, or a doctor so anything I say is not the answer to all, it might not even be the right thing for me!! lol I do my best with who and what I have to overcome any challenge with lots and lots of prayer,my mom who is God given just to me for this very reason, my sisters, and friends! I love life, mostly positive........BUT I am insane at times, get to the point of wanting to explode! lol.. I sing kids songs way too much! Did I mention I am OCD when it comes to cleaning. Which believe it or not I think is what keeps me sane. When I clean, I love it. Breakdowns, crying, talking, just all seem to be ok as I clean..Thank God for OCD!!!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Aspergers fixations and space issues. May 11, 2011

No meltdowns today!

I told her we would get her McDonald's for breakfast so getting dressed was quick today. Socks on wrong, shirt inside out and backwards,but she did it= ) The trying to fix it was the hard part, she doesn't understand that it must be fixed. The shirt has a collar on it with buttons, how in the world can this be ok with anyone! Some aspergers have no issue with not looking right and she is one of them.

Seemed like the day was in time warp mode for me which is good so the day goes by faster.

I had to go by the pharmacy and there are three cars!!!!!!! Do these people not know I am on a schedule! So I made it home at 5:58, went right over to get the kids and was greeted with.

Her: Whats for dinner, you are late!
Me: I went by the pharmacy I am going to get it just as soon as we get home.
Her: I will go home now and make it myself as she is walking out the door.
Me: No, let me get sissy and i will be right home, and she is gone.

Well it is too late now, so i am not going to rush. I got the baby and talked to mom for a minute and went home.

Samarra decided waffles, toast, and a pop tart was the menu... Wrong!

I did let her eat part of the waffle since it was made, and it allowed me to make the real dinner. Chicken which I know she wont eat, peas, which she peels to eat, and cheese. She loves cheese, but only if it is shredded. Ate everything but the meat, but i made her eat it anyway. I am so mean! She has comfort foods as we all do, but hers seems to effect her mood. Well it is bread. I give in way too much on it and I noticed she was starting to not smell like a child, I took her to a doctor and found out too much bread can cause a yeast backup in the system and cause it. Yes, I have cut it way back! But I also found out she was eating it when I didn't know. Bread is now on top shelf in cabinet.

Dinner is over!!!!! I will sit down. POUNCE she is on me, this is ok, but she is in my face and wont move, she kisses and kisses and holds your face to where you cant breath.. I end up fighting her back and holding her away from me and i try to talk about personal space... doesn't work. She keeps doing it.. finally I have to push her off of me and yell stop! I cant breath! Now she laughs.

This sparked the fixation on pain, people getting hurt and death. This used to be a daily issue. I will be the first to admit I don't handle this issue as well as I should have. It creeps me out! She thinks it is funny when talking about people getting hurt, how it happened. she can be in an all out laughing attach. Which drives me INSANE! I don't understand it at all! This is one of the things she said.

I want to scare Mimi when she is in bed, so she will jump up and hurt herself and then maybe she will have to go to the hospital and then she will have to get all kinds of painful stuff done, as she is rolling laughing. I try to ignore it as I have learned.. I used to get so mad and yell things like what is wrong with you.... once she got done with her doomsday story and laughing i just simply said now is that very nice? Remember what happened when Mimi got hurt that one time.. she says yea. And what did you do... I cried. So was that very funny story? She says... it is hilarious and about fell down laughing... sigh oh well...

So here is the flip side, she is so caring that if anyone, especially family gets hurt even a little bit, she cries and cries and cries and has a complete meltdown because she cant handle the emotions going on.

I have learned that Aspergers fixate on things and Yay for me, her fixation is death!!!! Her therapy has helped a lot with that, she just loves Mikki.

Time to go to bed all is normal, she says her prayers as normal and says the same words she has said since she could talk and wont deviate.... BUT tonight she did!! She added this to the prayer. And please God make mommie give me some ibuprofen after i say amen, cause my head is killing me! AW I felt so bad for her= ( If you get your hair done in braids, it HURTS like heck for a couple days! I tell her its part of being a girl= ( I remember it too.. I wished it didn't hurt though.

This also explains the great night we had unfortunately and probably also explains the pain talk. HUMMMM I think I may have learned something just now... I will discuss with mom and see what she thinks about it... Samarra will NEVER tell you she hurts. She will not cry even when she has gotten hurt quite bad a few times. She gets quiet and avoids all contact. I try to tell her it is ok to cry and tell when she gets hurt.

Once at school she fell and hit her head very hard and it swelled up close to a real egg size and was bad! it happened in the last 10 minutes of school. When mom picked her up she noticed it getting bigger and she called me at work. Mom said it was real bad which it was... I will post the picture below. I called the school livid they didnt notify me! They apologized and expressed that they did not know. I then paused for a moment. I said did at any time did she get quiet and come stand by you or behind you? She said well when we wereoutside at end of school she did, she stood by the fence looking away behind me. I knew at that time the school was not at fault for not calling me. She will not show emotion to pain at all. I did have to take her to the doctor.

Gave her medicine for her headache and off to bed with the baby!

Now on to Wed.!!

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