Aspergers Mommy

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Well I am a mom of two wonderful kids that I have been blessed with!!! I am not a psychiatrist, or a doctor so anything I say is not the answer to all, it might not even be the right thing for me!! lol I do my best with who and what I have to overcome any challenge with lots and lots of prayer,my mom who is God given just to me for this very reason, my sisters, and friends! I love life, mostly positive........BUT I am insane at times, get to the point of wanting to explode! lol.. I sing kids songs way too much! Did I mention I am OCD when it comes to cleaning. Which believe it or not I think is what keeps me sane. When I clean, I love it. Breakdowns, crying, talking, just all seem to be ok as I clean..Thank God for OCD!!!

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Aspergers, separation anxiety and Cici's Pizza. May 21, 2011

Well, we made it through the night and I am tired! I wonder how i got by with only 3 or 4 hours asleep when I was younger... Doesn't work that well these days, but somehow I am not falling over, lol

So today I am going to get McDonald's coffee, I deserve it! Well I guess that means breakfast for Samarra too... Yea no problems getting ready for school if food is involved.. Is this for her or me??  Yup, your right.. for me. So I guess you can see the selfish side of me in this, I just don't want any issues before work.

Work isn't so bad so far. I am awake and quite productive actually. One of my co-workers, Michelle just told me she has donuts at her desk. Now this is where aspergers comes into play. If you have read earlier posts, you know it is Friday and because I took her to Cici's what 2 months ago it is a fight every Friday trying to explain Friday does NOT mean Cici's pizza... uggg Well...........Michelle has saved me! Most people would think, oh a donut sounds good, or no it is too fattening. I think... That is my OUT!!  Yeah I have something to replace Cici's pizza. I GLADLY went and got two donuts and put them away to take home!  Happy Happy Happy....

I am home, I go to moms, and here she comes... running to me and hugs me, I love this and always will, it is the words that could be better.. lol  MOM!!!  whats for dinner??   Of course I dont know yet... Mom lets go, im hungry......  we ate at Mimi's but im still hungry.. Lets go to Cici's.... No no Cici's tonight, but I did bring you something...What is it??  I need to know NOW.. Just a second honey, got to get sissy's stuff then we will go and Mimi is leaving for two weeks remember??  I dont care I want what you brought me..  I knew I shouldn't have told her.

So she is trying to hurry to put shoes on and she is making it very hard for herself... here is the play by play.
Her: put my shoes on
Me: just hold them we are just going next door
Her: put my shoes on.
Me: just hold them we are just going next door
Her: put my shoes on, put them on, put them on, put them on, put them on......  Crying now, I cant do it.. put them on... put them on...
Me: Honey...
Her: put them on put them on put them on....... 
Me: Honey the quicker you just hold them and go you can get your surprise.
Her: Ok, stands up puts them in bag as nothing just happened.

Am I the only one who wishes the last 3 minutes didn't happen?  OH....Did I mention Mom has a friend over and they are talking, Siahna is yelling and the TV is on??

All in all, three minutes so far is not so bad!  Alright now off to home... Didn't get to say bye to mom yet.

In the door, donut in hand already, and donut gone before i got to kitchen. Amazing! Yes, I gave a bite to the baby... No, you dont have to remind me she is fat... lol

Mom comes over to talk a moment and say bye.. SEPARATION anxiety hits, Samarra is crying.. not a meltdown cry, but a kind of sweet one. But in her world, Mimi is doing this to her for some reason. I wont be bad, I will be good starts... I can only explain that this is for Mimi to have fun and it is not because of her... The rest of the night was up and down with bouts of emotions from this. But no meltdowns. She is so worried about her days being different... She even knows that she cant control her reactions at times. Smart girl. Poor baby just doesn't know what to do...

This Friday was a huge success if you ask me!  I am going to bed! Wonder what tomorrow will be like....

Samarra quote: You know I like having a sibling at times.. I think God knew I would need someone that could beat me up and put me in my place.

Yes, the baby is a bully!

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