I have to say, I think this blog is helping me deal with the every day aggravations that are normal when you have a child with aspergers. So Since that was the point of this, YAY!
Some times I get lazy and just do things myself, I really shouldn't, but sometimes it is easier than dealing with the opposite side. What I mean is Wed. morning I got her dressed, everything got on right the first time. I shouldn't do this because it doesn't help her practice doing it and getting it right.. Well sue me, I wanted a calm morning! The only thing I have to go though when i dress her is her putting her hands in my face and trying to smother me.. lol She doesn't mean to try and KILL me, I hope, but she find it quite funny when i get aggravated because i cant breath... I am used to this though, I do try and tell her it is not good and it could hurt someone, but I didn't want her to fall down laughing...
Daddy got cheese sticks and they were there before I got home!! No dinner issues tonight. Samarra wont eat red sauce, so she is going to be happy.
I go next door to get girls. Samarra runs up..; whats for dinner........ Is it too much to get a "Hi Mommy" ??? I have to constantly remind myself, she cant help it, I know she loves me and I must be ok with just that. I let her know daddy had gotten food. She is out the door like lightning. I stay and visit with my mom, I love her so much and I thank God every day for her patience and caring. I got some of it!!! So I get Siahna and we go home.
So the fixation of death is lingering, isn't that exciting!! She wants to play scrabble, one of her favorite games and she spells the words, death, die, dying, dead, pain... I tried to get her to spell others, but nope! Times like this i just get so aggravated, but i don't want to draw too much attention to it. See I think sometimes that it even scares me a bit when she does this, but the one thing i don't mention is she learns about diseases and treatments and procedures... it is something asperger children do. Knowledge is the best thing to them!.
My work, OPUBCO, had an auction on some items and I got a new encyclopedia for her to read and another book called "Whats in my head" which discusses the whole brain and how everything works. She loves them. I got some others, but I don't want her reading so many different ones at a time. She usually falls asleep at night reading. She loves the library, but the problem is, the kid books are for babies she says , but i wont let her get the older kid books because the subject is too old for her.
Samarra has really no social skills of her own, she will mimic anything she sees or reads to socialize. Hence I have to be VERY careful what she watches and reads. So if you know me and you read this, that is why she is not allowed to do so much your kids are.. Don't judge me on being too strict, this is to protect my child and help her learn proper social skills.
Overall I just worry daily on how is she going to be able to function socially with others, if others hear things she says, they are going to probably lable her as a serial killer or something... SIGH!!
She is so beautiful and smart!!!! I am so proud of her all the time, and I tell her. But she does not separate emotions and feelings. If i get upset I don't love her anymore. if I ask her a math question that you might ask a 10th grader and she doesn't get it right away, she beats herself up. Poor baby, will she ever really know i love her more than my own life?? I doubt it, but i will just keep trying...
Samarra comment of the day: I coughed and her response was. Mom you might have pneumonia and that can get serious and if fluid starts building up and it gets to your heart, you are going to have congestive heart failure...... I say, honey i just choked a little...........She says, well you could still die from that and it would be funny.. I say, really huh? She says, yup.
I stopped it there...
Great day I would say , no matter what, any day with out crying and meltdowns is a wonderful, awesome day!!!!
- Info on the insane mom.
- Well I am a mom of two wonderful kids that I have been blessed with!!! I am not a psychiatrist, or a doctor so anything I say is not the answer to all, it might not even be the right thing for me!! lol I do my best with who and what I have to overcome any challenge with lots and lots of prayer,my mom who is God given just to me for this very reason, my sisters, and friends! I love life, mostly positive........BUT I am insane at times, get to the point of wanting to explode! lol.. I sing kids songs way too much! Did I mention I am OCD when it comes to cleaning. Which believe it or not I think is what keeps me sane. When I clean, I love it. Breakdowns, crying, talking, just all seem to be ok as I clean..Thank God for OCD!!!