Aspergers Mommy

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Well I am a mom of two wonderful kids that I have been blessed with!!! I am not a psychiatrist, or a doctor so anything I say is not the answer to all, it might not even be the right thing for me!! lol I do my best with who and what I have to overcome any challenge with lots and lots of prayer,my mom who is God given just to me for this very reason, my sisters, and friends! I love life, mostly positive........BUT I am insane at times, get to the point of wanting to explode! lol.. I sing kids songs way too much! Did I mention I am OCD when it comes to cleaning. Which believe it or not I think is what keeps me sane. When I clean, I love it. Breakdowns, crying, talking, just all seem to be ok as I clean..Thank God for OCD!!!

Monday, May 23, 2011

Aspergers, Weekend meltdowns and literal thinking May 23, 2011

Yay!!  I got to sleep in, it is 6:30 and Samarra is still asleep!!  I believe she stayed up till after eleven I think it was.. I should instill this policy for all weekends!!

I managed to get a shower and dressed and makeup done before she woke up! But i didn't quite make it to getting breakfast done for her before she woke up, but I was almost done... Getting close to 9 a.m. Mimi leaves for her trip. Samarra remembered it and is now crying saying her life is going to be over, and there is no way we will make it with out her. So dramatic it is kind of funny. But you know what, I feel the same way. I live next door to my mom that is how close we are, no issues with us.! I guess you could say I am a "momma's girl" or she is a "daughters mommy" whatever. lol

Mom is gone and it is all but forgot for the moment. And here is comes. I need something to do, lets go to the park, lets go to Walmart, call Debbi and have the girls come over, play games with me. now now now now...  cry cry cry. Whatever happened to kids playing with toys???  She has not all the electronics, but they have so many toys, that I think my house looks more like a daycare than a home!!!!!!!! I say Samarra, go find something to play with!!! I am never going to talk to you ever again!  I cant help it, but I always say.. GOOD... I will remind you of that... I know I am bad....... But it is fun to see the reaction... lol

Here comes the literal thinking part. Toys are for stupid people. The commercials LIE about the toys, make them look fun and they don't talk to me, they don't do anything but sit there and do nothing! The person making the commercials are smart for doing it to get kids to want them, but im not stupid!
So if I haven't mentioned before, Samarra takes everything literal. You can not use phrases such as "When pigs fly", "Lets hit the road Jack", or maybe describing something that is very cool and using the word "sick".  This does not nor will ever be comprehended her her!  I like kick myself every time I use one... And then the hour of trying to explain why I would say that instead of what I mean........  UGGG

Ok so no playing with toys...  IM BORED! I offer to let her help me clean up, surely her being my daughter she has to love to clean. She agrees to help. Little did I know everything I handed her she walked to the other room and threw down!!!!!!!  Im like SAMARRA.. what the....  Well You wanted me to help, I am bored.. I like to throw stuff.. so it looked like a solution to me!!!!!!!!!!!!    AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Ok well apparently the morning of crying wore her out, baby napping and guess what???  Samarra napping!!
 Finally quiet!!  Ok now, after nap I must go to Walmart!  UGGG.. So I dont end up on "People of" I better straiten up and really get dressed.

My dad called and stopped by!  Hi dad!  he brought and cut us fresh melon, pineapple, and grapes and a watermelon!!  It was very yummy!!!  Thank you dad! Only problem is.... Samarra will .want it for the next um lets say 5 or 6 Saturday's going forward. SO dad if your reading this.. looks like you will be coming over more than you planned!!!   LOLOL  Not so funny though cause I will have to deal with it....  BUT wait......... I believe Memorial day has saved me.. the cycle will be broken with a BBQ next weekend!!!!!!!!!!  WHEW.. Good planning dad!

Off to Walmart, to me this meand there goes the paycheck, to Samarra this means food from the deli... Target means popcorn and drink.. She had it one time and MELTDOWN is on if we dont....  Well at least her favorite is okra... Could be worse! Oh and by the way, I tried the ranch chicken, I thought I was in heaven, I loved it!!!!!!

The rest of the night was pretty good!!   Food, food, food food, hungry, food.. and time to go to bed... lol


Yup she woke me up. OH NO!!!!!!!!!  Sigh.... Hungry, food, I am staarving.. crying, why didnt you set your alarm to get up?? GET UP NOW!!!   ME: Ok im coming... Im starving... I need it now!!!!!!!  Crying.. Runnign off and throwing her pillows screaming and throwing blankets!!!!!!!!!!!!  AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH............  ok, something quick... thats it... sugary muffin!!!  Yay, still had one, I am such a good mother to shove sugar down her............  Is this a medical thing, or is this mental??????????? ...  Now she is happy and She has her cup with lid and straw.

The HARDEST part of asperger's is knowing what is normal 6 year old and what is aspergers. God, HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!!!

Now I can get coffee and start on the real breakfast which I made bacon, eggs, and toast..  Yes, she ate it also. Not going anywhere today.. but guess what.... daddy is....

Me saying to the girls daddy: PLEASE PLEASE take Samarra with you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Why is he looking at me like i have lost my mind??????? He says........OK... he has NO idea what he has just done for me!!!!!!! Jumping up doing the happy dance............... and singing the uh huh song.. Oh you don't know that one??  Well ask another asperger mom how it goes.. they know= )  Once again, I get looked at like i have lost my mind and he says... You need help..............They leave and it is only 10 a.m. I have no idea what to do with myself, sure I have the baby, but as I cleaned and cleaned and threw toys away, packed some baby ones up.. Siahna just played and danced to the tv music and had a great time ... No crying, no drama.

Daddy, Nanna, and Grandpa just got back with Samarra  and looks like McDonald's is in the plan.. Yeah.. no drama there...  I let them play in the sprinkler... No dram there..  Nanna is playing with girls.. no drama there... And everyone leaves... She is tired.. guess what NAP again!!  this day is awesome!

And here is goes.. Take the baby to Jana so I can do Samarra's hair........... sigh...... its ok, the whole day was great... let me sum this up...Scream, cry, I hate you, I am never speking to you again.. ME: GOOD...........sing, cry, I wish I had another mother... ME: Me too!.......... sing. both of us singing...  finish...  I love you Mommy your so great......... Im hungry.....  This all happened in two hours time...

Some more fruit, food and off to bed!  Whew!!!!!!!!!

This summer I am checking into some camps at the YMCA in Midwest City, looks like they have a pretty good lineup this year!!  Check it out on wimgo!!

Ok here are some photos for ya.

Samarra and Siahna May 23, 20-1l  
 Have a Great Monday!!!!!!

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