Aspergers Mommy

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Well I am a mom of two wonderful kids that I have been blessed with!!! I am not a psychiatrist, or a doctor so anything I say is not the answer to all, it might not even be the right thing for me!! lol I do my best with who and what I have to overcome any challenge with lots and lots of prayer,my mom who is God given just to me for this very reason, my sisters, and friends! I love life, mostly positive........BUT I am insane at times, get to the point of wanting to explode! lol.. I sing kids songs way too much! Did I mention I am OCD when it comes to cleaning. Which believe it or not I think is what keeps me sane. When I clean, I love it. Breakdowns, crying, talking, just all seem to be ok as I clean..Thank God for OCD!!!

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Aspergers, OCD causes meltdowns!! How to manage...

Happy Thursday!!!

I am sooooooooooooooooooo MAD!!!!!!  I dreamed it was Friday and I had already got up and showered , dressed, the whole thing then my alarm goes off!!!!!!    I had to do it all over again and it isn't Friday....... UGGG A positive note is I liked what I was wearing in the dream and I am wearing it today  lololol

Oh well, that is so minor, just very irritated, but I did it over and I am happy= )

So I made a realization last night that I am going to have to ponder on........My OCD causes Samarra to have meltdowns more!!

So here is how it worked, I clean, I actually like to clean, I have to clean actually. This for whatever reason calms me and I am in a good mood mentally. The house is not perfect, and I don't have OCD to the point of freaking out, but I like my house in order before I go to bed or I cant sleep well.. So I usually come home and just follow everyone around so I don't have a big mess to are some issues with this...

1. Everyone knows I am going to get it so they leave it.... I am not teaching my children to clean up after themselves.
2. Samarra is VERY needy and wants me next to her at all times............She is constantly wanting me to play a game , watch her play computer, just sit with me.......Well realistically this just cant happen, but by me  constantly cleaning it causes her to have more meltdowns.

I went out to take the trash out last night and she is crying begging me not to leave her.......... What is this.. I am not throwing myself in the trash can to be thrown out.......I am coming back in.. This is very irritating to me, and no there is no reason for her to come with me, because then the baby wants to come out and she screams if she cant.. IVE TRIED......... then if they both come out, Siahna doesn't want to go back in. And now we are in the skin melting sun! Have you seen Siahna???  If her skin was anymore white she would be translucent! We walk outside and her skin turns red instantly!

So my point is...........the meltdown is easier than the other and she needs to learn somehow someway she will make it through my 30 sec trip to the trash.........So this is what i get when I do go out............Doesn't she look like she could kill me?????

So last night was yet 80% no drama at the house, but I spent a lot of time playing games... I AM GAMED OUT!!!!!!!

Hide and Seek 


And Tic Tac Toe

And Dominoes, well kind of dominoes.. Started playing and Wheel of Fortune came on so Samarra quickly left me and Siahna to play by ourselves.........Then got all crazy because I wasn't watching it and proceeded to tell me each minute that went by that i was not seeing it!!!!!!!!!! 

So I guess I am going to have to find a way to do what I need to do and work with her as well............

It seems so simple of a thing so why didn't I think of it sooner?????  

But we did have a few meltdowns last night, but they were routine things. I don't seem to get stressed out as much anymore about them, but then the house was clean too, when she has a meltdown and the house isnt in order I get more stressed.............. MAYBE I am the one with aspergers and everyone else is not??   LOLOLOL 

The first one was about dinner......... It was after 5:30 when she began eating.........So from 5:30 until I think it was 5:37 she was repeating herself, freaking out.. pacing, getting angry, saying things like why cant you just be on time!!!!!!!!!

I am not going to complain at all.. night was good, house is not exactly how I would like it to be and I am a bit anxious about that... but I am the adult so I will deal with mine if it helps her be less full of anxiety............... 

UNTIL I go completely insane from not cleaning as much anyway  lolol I will just walk around talking to myself and twitching from withdrawal  HAHAHA.......Then you can see me on the show hoarders, my house will be a mess, but Samarra will be fine!  lolol..............Then my sub-human, Jalaine will have to come rescue me!!!!!  Ok, why did i even think of all that.. see the madness has started... HELP ME!!!!!

WHY can I not get a song from Missy Elliot out of my head.. I think this is three days now!  uggg

Have a great day, I know I will= )

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