Happy late Independence Day!!!
THANK YOU to all who have ever served our country in the military and all their families as well!!
So I have a LOT of days to catch up on, but I am going to focus this one on ONE day only because This weekend was decent... Oh we had the normal every day breakdowns and stuff, naked barbies... etc. etc.. LOLOL
I am going to focus on 3 hours on Friday. So you say.. WOW she has been gone and not written for 4 days and all I get is three hours??? TRUST me! It is all I can fit.........
I begin with calling the night "HELL NIGHT 2011"........ Samarra went to her Nanna and Grandpa's house Thursday to stay the night. Well at Nanna's house there are not many rules and sleep to Samarra is optional. They were suppose to go to the movies, I never did find out why.. But i do know that Samarra fed some geese... here is the picture = )
Ok So I get home and get the girls and instantly I KNEW the night could be fatal for me... But I should say, I try to keep it calm anyway... She is crying a lot, nothing is making her happy, She is arguing with Elizabeth and ONLY wanting to hug me and drag on my leg as i try to move around.. UM She is 70 lbs. I am not the bionic woman! Although it would be really cool if I was...And of course if it was true would help lololol.
OK, so I know i will be confined with her tonight, I am ok with this and I am sitting on the couch with her next to me and the baby in front of me and Elizabeth playing with chixo's at the table.......... Everything is calm, nothing happened to start anything. Samarra is still crying and just looks like she has been up for like a week, I know she is tired but it is like 6:00 pm.
AND THEN IT HAPPENED..............
I am not even sure how it all happened so quick........Samarra lunged at Siahna and hit her HARD three times so fast I couldn't even get to her quick enough, I was right there!!!!!!!!! I scream SAMARRA STOP!!!!!!!!!! She looks at me confused........................She starts screaming and went into some MAJOR melt down, worse than ever...........At the same time Siahna is screaming cause she is hurt.................I have to grab the baby of course.............. and I am checking her out, already her arm has turned blood red and is swelling.........I look at Samarra and I loudly still to reach over the noise ask WHY???????????? Why would she do that............NO RESPONSE.......... Her eyes don't look right, like up and to the right........She is so gone.I am worried about her.............but i have to forget her for now and tend to the baby........
About 5 min goes by and Samarra runs off screaming the babies arm looks bad but i think it was just the initial reaction of red and swollen.... Samarra is screaming I will never touch my baby sister again I hurt her, i hurt her, i hurt her, i hurt her.....................Over and over...........
Lets go to me for a second..........I am in shock I think............How did this happen? I was right there..............Why did this happen..............What am I supposed to do??????????? Am I suppose to spank Samarra....................I am so at a loss for words and feelings at this moment that I was so SCARY calm that I just don't know what to do................. Samarra is still screaming her head off and I hear the room being destroyed............. I figure as long as she is loud, she is alive........ Soooooooooooo
OK so now Siahna is calming down and i clean her up and I lay her down on couch to change her bottom and Samarra comes out covered in a blanket saying she doesn't deserve to be looked at cause she is such a horrible person.. crying as talking.........She hurt her sister and she needs to be punished........... and she is going toward couch.. I say Samarra your going to fall, take that off so you can see where your going...............
AND
She falls on top of the baby......................................
OH MY FREAKING GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Here we go again......... this time even worse than a few minutes ago!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am trying to see where Siahna got hurt, now I am worried something internal happened, or what .................Samarra is off again and this time I am sure the room is going to not exist any longer.........................I am just sitting there calm as a cucumber..................I am wondering why................Am I about to loose it??????????? Elizabeth through this is so used to Samarra she doesn't even quit playing with the Chixo's at the table....................
Am I immune, do I not care, what the heck is wrong with me............I don't even feel angry.................Does this mean I understand Samarra? Why the HECK did all this happen???
So it started about 6:00 p.m. and it is now close to 8:00p.m. My nerves are shot, I feel numb and I thank GOD for bedtime and they are both so extremely tired now that they will be going to bed very soon........ Samarra NEVER did quit crying all night...........I got the baby in bed and got Samarra laying down, but she kept grabbing at me asking to sleep with me, and not to leave her and just in hysterics......... Elizabeth was right there too..............I knew she would calm down once I was out of sight and she did FYI........
So I did ask her later why? and she said she didn't know.........SIGH.............
So here is what i have figured out Samarra NEEDS regular sleep and naps............ She will NOT be sleeping over with Nanna and grandpa anymore= ( I hate to say it, it isn't their fault.. but she MUST have structure...............
So I have pondered a lot of what could I have done, What am i going to do, this is the first true violence and I am SCARED to death................
So my HELL night was finally over!!!!!!!!!!! I SERIOUSLY am considering making myself a t-shirt for it!!!!!!!
I made SURE there were naps the rest of the weekend and like i said other than the normal driving me crazy with time and inpatients and a few minor meltdowns.. all was good= )
Here are a couple of cute pics this weekend= ) I should have taken a LOT more photos, but I didnt= (
Siahna loved hats lol
As I write my blog and it sounds like I gripe, I am.....!!! LOLOLOL BUT know I know I am blessed and SO may others have worse issues than I do and i have nothing but empathy and wish them the strength to endure any obstacle.........Like I always say, we choose to smile or not..........I choose to smile, I might not ALL day.. but give me a little break lolol...
Oh FYI the headset worked GREAT keeping Samarra from the major meltdown from the fireworks noise!!!!!!!! WHOOP WHOOP!
Happy Tuesday to everyone!!!
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