Well I am still in shock, but last night I had no meltdowns, no anger, no anything!!!!! OK lie, the normal inpatients and a little bit of separation anxiety, but she was very agreeable all evening!!!
So three days ago, no meds... Yes, I forgot again, what the heck is wrong with me. Sorry MOM and Jana!!! One day ago I tried 1 pill just to see. Mom says, Did she have her pills? UGGG Yesterday, two pills.. Happy Happy= )
My thing last night was I went to take the trash out and before i got the door closed she is saying mom come in... I will do my normal way it is easier....
Samarra: Mom come in!
Me: Girl, I haven't even walked out the door yet
Samarra: Can I come with you?
Me: No, I am putting trash away and coming back in and I dont want sissy to cry, just give me a second. AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH yes I said second........
I am going to interject for a moment. WHY do I still use the words second, minute, couple of minutes. Have I used them so much that i cant break myself of them. I seriously want to scream when she starts counting!!!!!! To be honest I want to blow up and like tackle her, I never have by the way. BUT my point is, I cause this problem, not her. WWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!
Ok back to regular conversation, remember she wanted to come with me, I said no and the word "second"....
Samarra: Count 1 OK, don't go.
Me: Not listening, go out door to take trash
Samarra: Runs to window and starts beating on it.. mom come in... mom come in and waving to me to come in
Me: I pretend I don't hear her....
Samarra: MOM! come in.
Me: Walking slow on purpose...........lol coulda handled better by me, yes.. and another moment i am enjoying and don't really care lol
Samarra: Disappears from window
Me: So you should know by now I know my daughters WELL. She is in the house getting her sister to stand on the table, geting to the dvd's or something so i will rush in.
Samarra: Back at window... MOM come in the baby is in the cabinet getting the dvd's
Mom: Am I smart or what?? OK, she won... I was outside for lets say maybe a minute.
Another one was something, but i cant remember they happen so much.. so perfect night really.
I want to say Thank you to Lunchbox lunchables that make the "make your own" pizza that I got at Crest, Samarra loved it and ate it which helped the night. And another thank you to the maker of UNO which I played and HATE! Does that game ever end?????? And why does it have to have so many rules!!!!!!!!! I also want to thank the maker of pillows and blankets for being very fun to dive off the couch into.
I like the little Crest in Midwest City. They still have it old school. They bag your groceries and take them out for you! Now if I could just find a full service gas station!
So here is the biggest issue after the wonderful night! Guess what... I was stress free and got in bed and couldn't sleep!!!!!!!!! I tried to pick the most boring movie I could find to knock me out instead I watched the whole thing! Something about nuns and a king, and villagers.. I couldn't tell much more than that.... I was pretty mad, i could have been watching House Hunters! And awake again at 1:30.. WHAT THE!!!! Ok maybe I need stress to sleep.
I also kept thinking I MUST MUST tomorrow buy some sound stopping headphones.. I am going to put it off and i will regret it, then I was taken back to last year when the air show and the fourth of July came around. THE WORST meltdowns we will ever experience. AWACS fine, Bombers fine, C-130 fine, F-15, F-16, Blue Angels or anything like it... NOT OK!!!!!!!! I cant even describe it it is so bad.. The retards doing fireworks in Midwest city illegally NOT GOOD!!!!!! We are talking flaring, screaming throwing, cant calm down, vomiting, grabbing head, rocking. Nothing helps this. July 4th was my favorite, now I hate it!!!!
MUST GET headphones ordered today!
Oh let me tell you what happened the night before I think I forgot to mention. Me sleeping soundly on my stomach. Samarra couldn't sleep apparently and decided to come wake me up. So we all know how it is to be woken up and by something you dont recognize as fingers tapping you on back... I am asleep, for all I know a giant spider is on me!!!!!!! I jerk up and swing as hard as I can only to watch Samarra go flying across the room...........OOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPs OMGosh!!! Samarra is crying.... you hit me!!!!!!!!!! I had to explain and she was fine...............Bet ya she doesn't do that again.... lol You know its funny kinda...
Anyway, I am slacking with pictures, so I will give ya another oldie but goodie........ OK< look at the outfit Samarra is wearing in this phot0 at the age of 4.... My 1 year old baby is wearing it already!!!!!!! That's my chunka monk.lol
- Info on the insane mom.
- Well I am a mom of two wonderful kids that I have been blessed with!!! I am not a psychiatrist, or a doctor so anything I say is not the answer to all, it might not even be the right thing for me!! lol I do my best with who and what I have to overcome any challenge with lots and lots of prayer,my mom who is God given just to me for this very reason, my sisters, and friends! I love life, mostly positive........BUT I am insane at times, get to the point of wanting to explode! lol.. I sing kids songs way too much! Did I mention I am OCD when it comes to cleaning. Which believe it or not I think is what keeps me sane. When I clean, I love it. Breakdowns, crying, talking, just all seem to be ok as I clean..Thank God for OCD!!!