It's a beautiful day!!!
We are starting this soon!!!!!!!! It is a Soccer league for children with Autism!
So I want to start with something today, because it was on my mind last night. I hope all who read this know me, but if not, I want to help you understand me a bit.
I started this blog to help me with my anxiety, feeling of being a bad mom and just the daily stress level I was at. It has helped me so much!!! I love it! So on to second thought. I know as you read some of the things I say that Samarra does, says is completely "normal" for a child. I do not have unrealistic expectations of my big baby girl. I have been around children my whole life and I know they make messes, want to eat alot at times, climb on furniture, dont listen at times, hate their parents at times, push to see how far they will be able to get away with something, push again, try to debate things and just flat out drive parents crazy sometimes. So as you see I know things she does are completly normal for a child, we all did it and hopefully you had a parent who guided you.
Yes, she is "normal", she has a different way of seeing, understanding and doing things than others. When she gets on the table to jump off she is trying to get her sister to do it so she will get hurt, when she pushes she does not let up when i try to guide her back, when she is debating, there is no way she is wrong, because she thinks literally and my words don't make sense to her. her issues are how does she respond to the same situations other kids have. That is Aspergers.
With that said.. I got home at 5:30 and rushed to get some food ready, green beans and bagel bites. it took me a couple minutes longer so I went next door and walked in.
MOM! Why are you late is dinner ready and can i have some friends over.... My response, lets get our stuff together and yes dinner is ready. Trying to avoid the friend question. OK she is out the door, I am sure dinner will be close to gone in 2 minutes. Got the baby together and went home... Mom can I have some desert I am done... WOW vacuum!
Home less than one minute.
Her:I want some friends over
Me:Honey, it doesn't work like that, we have to plan those things
Her: Crying now..... I want Rhi Rhi to come over
Me: I know she cant she went out today and is tired
Her: Hitting the couch and head down in pillow yelling I want JR to come over...
Me: I need to call Chelsie and set some time up honey, but we cant tonight
Her: I am suppose to be with friends, I was with friends all year and now i have no one!
Me: Honey that was in school, we are going to set up camp for you
Her: crying and rocking But i am suppose to be with friends.. lets go to Jalaine's,,
Me: I talked to her already and we cant
Her: Lets go, lets go, lets go, lets go, lets, go , lets go, lets go,yelling in to pillow and hitting it
Baby is crying now because she is stressed out.
Me: Aaron can you PLEASE come take care of Samarra!!!!!!!! I am not doing this tonight, i have only been home 3 minutes!!!!!!!!
Her:We need to go, we need to go now , we need to go
Have you figured this out yet???????????? Her routine has changed into the summer routine and she is not adjusting to it yet. Yes, completely aspergers, but my nerves are shot!!
Daddy: Talking to Samarra
Her:Still crying and wining, the talk helped the full blown meltdown, but not the smaller one... She just keeps talking and repeating things which i cant stand...
Me:Fine.. here... dialing Antie Jalaine...........
Me to Jalaine: Jalaine.. will you please explain to samarra how it works when you want a friend to come over please....
Jalaine: yes I will...
Samarra and Jalaine are now on the phone, all I hear is I don't want to a bunch of times and then ok, ok, ok...
Off the phone and she says, can I have dessert now?
Here are the camps I am looking into for her at the YMCA in Midwest City.
Just gone.. and happy now... The weird thing is, after, it is like nothing happened to her, but yet I get left with rattled nerves and angry, I have to say when she walks up and says mom your the best right after it happens, i am not wanting hugs and kisses , i want to throw something.. But i hug and kiss anyway....
So now I have been home for about 10 minutes now. Did you know I smoke?? Well it is my fault I do, I try to use the excuse of my stress level, but I need to quit.. I only smoke outside at home though.... Whatever, i think it is just a way for me to be alone for a minute.
Remember the separation anxiety, i go on porch and Samarra stands at window and stares at me, or keeps knocking on the window for me to come in, but you know storm windows muffle things... lol
The rest of the evening was great.. normal routine issues... I didnt starts baths till 7:31 and I was suppose to start at 7:30.........OH NO!! but to Samarra this is an issue... She let me know when it was 7, 710, 715, 720, 725, and 730........When it hit 7:30 she let me know the whole 1 minute I was late, but no meltdowns= )
OMGosh look at this picture... maybe we dont have issues at all, maybe we are possessed like the cat is!!!!
Have a Great Wednesday!!!
- Info on the insane mom.
- Well I am a mom of two wonderful kids that I have been blessed with!!! I am not a psychiatrist, or a doctor so anything I say is not the answer to all, it might not even be the right thing for me!! lol I do my best with who and what I have to overcome any challenge with lots and lots of prayer,my mom who is God given just to me for this very reason, my sisters, and friends! I love life, mostly positive........BUT I am insane at times, get to the point of wanting to explode! lol.. I sing kids songs way too much! Did I mention I am OCD when it comes to cleaning. Which believe it or not I think is what keeps me sane. When I clean, I love it. Breakdowns, crying, talking, just all seem to be ok as I clean..Thank God for OCD!!!