Aspergers Mommy

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Well I am a mom of two wonderful kids that I have been blessed with!!! I am not a psychiatrist, or a doctor so anything I say is not the answer to all, it might not even be the right thing for me!! lol I do my best with who and what I have to overcome any challenge with lots and lots of prayer,my mom who is God given just to me for this very reason, my sisters, and friends! I love life, mostly positive........BUT I am insane at times, get to the point of wanting to explode! lol.. I sing kids songs way too much! Did I mention I am OCD when it comes to cleaning. Which believe it or not I think is what keeps me sane. When I clean, I love it. Breakdowns, crying, talking, just all seem to be ok as I clean..Thank God for OCD!!!

Monday, June 27, 2011

Aspergers Soccers over, Painted a shirt and RIBS!!!!!! June 27, 2011


OK can I start with........... It's HOT!

OMGosh, If I had not got insulation put in a few weeks back, we would all be dead! My heart goes to all those who can not afford air conditioning. They are stringer than I am for sure. It makes me want to just help everyone and I cant = (

I may not "like" everyone I meet, but I do have "a love" for all people. Even zombies... lol Ok, maybe not them.... lol

This weekend was pretty good... Friday night, I let samarra pick out her own little pizza and I got it for her so not drama.. She was a bit upset cause daddy went too far on the motorcycle and got too hot and was at her nanna's house trying to recover from the heat. She kept saying what are we going to do now that daddy is going to die...  I tried to tell her he wasn't, but I knew until he walked in the door, she wouldn't stop... So I kind of did the reverse and reassured her that IF something were to happen... We will make it cause we are strong girls.!  So that kept her from focusing on the bad= )   AM I GOOD OR WHAT???  HEY, I need a pat on the back.. this isn't easy!   lololol

Saturday morning was the last day for soccer= (  She loves it so much and I have met some awesome people! She thinks Cody is the most awesome person she has met. He is so sweet and I think he likes her too.. I talked to his mom and we are going to set something up for us to get together...  It is nice to know that she wont make fun of him and he wont make fun of her.... NO bullying! YEAH!!!

A quick note on "being different" Samarra knows people are different, but children who are not exposed don't know... Well at church on Sunday, the new "Life Church" in the old Heritage mall where Dilliard's used to be... Samarra saw her friend Sarah who is her BFF from therapy and she has down syndrome. Samarra was so excited and ran over and hugged her..(Sarah likes to hug) Elizabeth was there and she acted scared to death, she didn't want to be near her and told me later it was scary........ Well you know kids are kids and she didn't know any better... people do that to Samarra too, no ones fault.. just lack of education.. I hope my blog helps some people know= ) But I have to say, Samarra and Sarah are awesome together as well....

Ok, So after soccer, Samarra felt so proud of herself and kept asking if I was SOOOO proud of her and of course I was and am always anyway.. SO I made a snap decision to take the girls to Olive Garden to Celebrate for her.. I am not sure what the celebration is called  so it will be a "Just because" celebration  lol

So the waiter comes over and right away Samarra starts in on wanting bread sticks....  He was awesome with her, he got to hear about bread sticks about 15 times before he had even made it back with drinks he decided he better get the bread sticks  lol  and he brought like 10.... lololol  usually you get like 4.........   But was good times all the way after...

Ok now home.... I got all domestic and decided to let the girls paint shirts with puff paint..........I am always scared to try things like this with Samarra, it usually ends up VERY bad........... But I guess I get some hope we can do something together with out yelling............ So we start.. She gets frustrated VERY quick................DA da da da........ Mom superhero to the rescue!!!   OK, I am insane, but i did jump in and didn't help her with paint, she HATES help.. BUT I drew some things with a pen and let her do ALL the paint................. WHEW meltdown avoided..........Went well until Samarra finished and the baby grabbed it and pulled it off table which then "messed" it up........

MELTDOWN OF THE CENTURY!!!!!!!!  This one was bad bad.......... She screamed and kicked and yelled, destroyed her room........She was quite loud!   She is not really in "our world" when this happens. She has her own world.........She is screaming "the one thing in my life i did good and its messed up. I am worthless and now she ruined my art".......................  but not in full sentences, broke up from the meltdown........ I HATE it when she says these things!!!!!!  Like i want to cry!!!.......... BUT then saving grace... I got shirt and looked at it, and it looked cool........... like it was tie dyed.............. I yelled for Samarra to come in and look how awesome it looked............  She had to finish getting her emotions in check.. once she goes out so far, only she can bring herself back, if you try you WILL make it worse.. So about 20 minutes later, she walked out as if nothing happened and looked at shirt........... I did a good job huh mommy???  Yes you did and sissy helped you finish it huh?  She says yes, and kissed her sister...  WHEW made it and nothing broke.. FYI, I am contacting a socialization therapist today to help me with the DEATH and despair fixation she has... Mommies need help too= )

Here is the awesome shirt

So She went to her cousins right after this and was gone until after church on Sunday....  So Siahna and I cleaned a lot....  It is SOOOOO  hot we haven't went out.. and she loves laying in the kitchen floor on the cool ground...  AWWW

So on Sunday, daddy decided to smoke some ribs, so this is an all day thing. The girls, samarra's cousins also were so anxious it was the cutest thing...

Do you remember "back in the day" when we as kids used to get excited over little things....... maybe a trip to the store for one piece of candy, special trip to McDonald's one every few months or so.... A can of soda........... Well I remember it  cause i am old as dirt according to Samarra....   HAHAHAHAHA The girls were so excited about these ribs,  their reaction to it was just like before all the electronics came along. They wanted to smell it and just had glassy eyes when they FINALLY saw them...........They ate 4 ribs a piece, potato salad, green beans............. They were stuffed!!

Yes Samarra ate meat!!!!      It was an awesome experience for me to see............ here is some pics of it....

Had a couple more breakdowns  cause She spend the night at her cousins last Sunday night and she is not this week and because the house is hotter than normal...  YES, even temperature is not suppose to change in her world........ But I tried to tell her like mom did that meltdowns don't change the outcome........She didn't hear me, she is in Samarra land.......So i just ignore it...........YES I Know!!!!!!!!!!!! The only way into her world in a meltdown is getting her and forcing her to look me in the eyes........... SIGHHHHH   Well I don't want to be black and blue!

Ugg ok, now I feel guilty like someone is staring at me   LOLOLOL  ok I will TRY to do it more= )

You know what..........I love my life and my girls and it is the little things that make all the ewy things we go through not matter......... We have a choice to smile or not............. Like I try to teach Samarra.. does a meltdown change things???  Does a frown and depression help me???  NOPE  So don't worry .. Be happy.... LOLOL
Happy MONDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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