Aspergers Mommy

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Well I am a mom of two wonderful kids that I have been blessed with!!! I am not a psychiatrist, or a doctor so anything I say is not the answer to all, it might not even be the right thing for me!! lol I do my best with who and what I have to overcome any challenge with lots and lots of prayer,my mom who is God given just to me for this very reason, my sisters, and friends! I love life, mostly positive........BUT I am insane at times, get to the point of wanting to explode! lol.. I sing kids songs way too much! Did I mention I am OCD when it comes to cleaning. Which believe it or not I think is what keeps me sane. When I clean, I love it. Breakdowns, crying, talking, just all seem to be ok as I clean..Thank God for OCD!!!

Monday, June 13, 2011

Aspergers Trying new things June 13, 2011

Happy Monday!!!!!!!

So besides being extremely busy and way tired, this weekend was pretty good.. Now by who's definition it could change, but from MY perspective it was. We had less meltdowns. Oh and she started using the word "Butt"  uggg...

So Friday after work we did not go out anywhere, however her Nanna and Grandpa were over so the evening was pretty smooth. I got sucked into another game of UNO........... I really don't like this game!!!!!!!!!! But we had dinner late, but it was ok because Nanna was there..........Yay... However had they not been there we probably would have eaten on time so either way.. Yay!

Saturday was a fun but busy day... By 8:50 we were on our way to KickStart, the Soccer of Autism at Rotary Park in OKC.  She was a little apprehensive on the way there  talking about how the other kids are for sure not going to like her cause she is slow and clumsy... = *(   But I reminded her that she has gotten a lot faster and stronger in therapy and the other kids will think she is awesome! She says I don't know mom, what if they hit me and stuff... I got all mad at this point remembering how she was bullied in school. and I said.. Then hit them back!  OK then I said, honey they wont.. these kids go to therapy like you do and they are worried you wont like them right now  I promise!   She was ok with htis and said she will be the best friend they have.... AAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWW

We pull up, and she is still saying I don't know about this mom... I reassure her it will be fine. Another little boy named Cody showed up and instantly they clicked, well as much as they can, but they stayed pretty close the whole time. She did notice some of the other autistic kids needed assistance and didn't communicate as well and it didn't bother her one bit! She said, you were right mom, they do like me!!!!!! I was so happy at this moment, she finally feels like she belongs.................... I was so into the game that I didn't take pictures!!!!!!    UGGGG  Next week I promise! So I would say 100% success on this and we will be back next week......

Now we are off to get some breakfast and then to nap before party this afternoon, OH I meant to say my friend Chelsie's son's birthday party in my last blog. J.R. they have always played good together...

So we did have some NORMAL for us things come up this weekend and this post could be a few pages long so I am going to just put in a few different conversations we had to sum it up. So we don't venture too far away from the house normally and the ride home was kind of long from soccer and Samarra says....

While driving home
Samarra: Mom, can I take off my seat belt?
Me: Umm, no.. why would you
Samarra: So I can pull your hair out
Me:Ok so I just wanted to see where this was going to take us, even though I wanted to snap for even saying it, so I say.. "And why would you do that"?
Samarra: Cause I want to see your head bleed and hurt
Me: And why do you want to see this?
Samarra: Because it would be funny if you were bald and crying in pain.
Me: Ok, well that is really not a nice thing to say is it?
Samarra: Why not.. it would be funny and I am bored
Me: It wouldn't be funny to me
Samarra: So? You would like it anyway..
Me: No, I wouldn't
Samarra: But you would be crying
Me: That means I wouldn't like it
Samarra: But you said people cry when their happy
Me:Well yes, but that is a different kind of cry.
Samarra: No such thing, tears are tears.
Me: Well honey, like when you get hurt, you cry...
Samarra: No I don't.
Me:  She is right.. since she was small, when she gets hurt, she goes off by herself or will stand next to you and get quiet.. I mean seriously I know she is in pain sometimes and wont cry.. I tell her it is ok, but she doesn't...
Samarra: If that is true and people cry when they are happy and sad, then people would cry all the time. not possible.
Me: Uggg
Samarra: So can I?
Me: NO!!   Distract time.. Oh look were almost there.....

Well wasn't that a fun conversation!!!!!!! Just one of those meaningful mother daughter moments.........aaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwww   LOLOL

Eating now, favorite thing for her to do so we are good... On way home she says.. Mom you really did it to me this time making me eat.. My tummy is upset.......... She is very sensitive to motion and she kept telling me to slow down or she was going to get sick.... trust me I slowed down.... She says.. I am going to take an extra large nap when I get home!!!  How cute...

OK nap over and off to Chuckie Cheese.. this is ok cause she likes this too.... So no issues here= )  I DID get pics and will put a few up but most will be on FB.

So now we are home and guess what she says as soon as we walk in... IM hungry!   grrr. SO you probably know the routine here by now..

Samarra:I want to eat
Me:  You just ate...
Samarra: But I am hungry now
Me: Well i will find a snack
Samarra: No I want dinner, it is not snack time yet
Me: Honey, you just had pizza and cake
Samarra: And that was party food, I want dinner
Me: SO this goes on for a while of course I am making some MOCH dinner even though it is not full blown...It does take me a minute and by the time i got down, she had had a meltdown...........She is tired and has had a big day and i think she is still keyed up...  Of course I just ignore her mostly...

She only tried to kill her sister once tonight by smothering her with a pillow and Siahna is getting to the point where she is fighting back hard... Of course I do have to keep close eye on them...  Samarra better be careful cause like 4 times this weekend she has come runnign and screaming because Siahna has picked up the tennis racket and started beating her, and Samarra is actually running away and i saw actual fear on her face..

YES, I take the racket could you think I wouldn't   lolol  And i am trying to get Siahna to quit, but I try to tell Samarra she has got to quit doing things to her or she is going to get a beat down..........We will see how that turns out...........I think I already know...  Siahna....KO!!!!!!!

Had my sister girls until a little after 10 and Kara was there, she is 11 and Samarra is a lot better when around her so the night went decent.... Samarra stayed the night over there.. She didn't know until late she was going and got a bit over excited and started getting mean, and i stopped it quick....  it is like so weird, over stimulation of excitement causes aggressive behavior, not necessarily mean behavior. Just where I have to grab her and try to hold her still for a sec....  she kisses everything and everyone and gets in and stays in peoples space and is rough with it... It hurts!!!!!!!  I hate to say this but when she acts like this i just stare at her and I hope to God no one who doesn't know her ever sees it.. She seriously looks weird!  Bad mom I know.....

Sunday and we are going to AUNTIE Jalaine's!!!!!!!!  Yay, she is so excited to see Rhi Rhi.... We are going for taco's!!!

So Samarra is coming  home at noon and I need to have food ready so i made a cheese tortilla, I know she likes it.

NOON- Samarra walked in, IM hungry, i need food it's time...  I made you something honey its on the counter.... She runs over to get it.. THIS IS NOT peanut butter and jelly!!!!!!!!!!!!  I had it for lunch yesterday and I want it today!!!!!!  Well we are not having it today, i made this cause I know you liek it... takes a bite and spits it out... EEEWWWWW ........I am going to have PBJ, Um no your not today.. I am and I am going to make it.. as she grabs a chair...  I heat her tortilla up and said well i will eat it...  She Flopped around on the ground for a minute and cried and wailed around while i kept her from climbing up to get PBJ
stuff...  OK, i lost it a little.............yelling to get to her.... SAMARRA!!!!!!!!!  You have been home 1 minutye and I am already yelling... there has been no yelling, no crying nothing.. I missed you so back while you were gone and you come in begging for food.. NO Hi mom.... I miss you mom.............I love you mom......... nothing... just food food food and then your griping about it when you like it????????????   I did yell most of it, but she is quiet and listening to me.......

She comes back and says.........But I do love you mom, your the best mom.........I will eat my food.....She takes a bite, and she is like your right this is so yummy.. mom look the cheese is stringy, do you liek it when it does that???  yes I do honey... I love you...

That all happened in less than 3 minutes........... Whew!   Ok now she is asleep for a minute... Off to Auntie Jalaines..

Are we going to Chuckie Cheese today?  Um no honey, we are eating at Auntie's.. But we went yesterday so we need to go today... Back and forth for a while.....  OK DARLA think  what can i do to fix this.... OHHHHHHHHHHH  Honey Chuckie Cheese is birthday only food.. They wont let us go unless its someones birthday......... OH ok she says...   YAY me Yay me

No real issues at Auntie's she loves it there and she is calm and feels loved by all....  One time she came and sat down by aunti and with in about a tweo minute period she told Jalaine, can I have my taco now... Jalaine would say yes honey we are about to start..... Auntie, can we have the taco's now...  After the third time, aunti got right up and made them and told her she could help her............ Love you Jalaine for knowing how to keep things rolling calm!!!

Home now.........I want dinner....  UGGG you just ate....  ok i don't feel like doing this...  I give in right away........

Extremely tired and both girls are crying a lot!  Samarra is having a meltdown cause Siahna is crying and Siahna is crying because Samarra is having a meltdown............  No win.....  8:00 WE ARE GOING TO BED!!!!!!!!!

I just have one question........ When do I get to have my meltdown??????????

Like I said busy but a pretty good weekend!!!!!!!!!!!

Enjoy the pics...In the photos are Rhi Rhi, Samarra, Siahna, and J.R.

Have a Happy Monday

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